Men who cheat in a relationship usually lack these 7 key character traits

Avatar by Isabel Cabrera | December 17, 2024, 8:58 am

My mother used to say, “Son, a man is only as good as his word.”

This nugget of wisdom has stuck with me through the years. It’s a simple yet powerful statement about character, integrity, and trustworthiness. And it’s a trait that some men, sadly, seem to lack when it comes to relationships.

You see, I’ve noticed a pattern.

In many instances where a man cheats in a relationship, it’s not just an isolated incident of poor judgement. It often points to certain character traits – or rather, the lack thereof.

So if you’ve ever found yourself asking “Why do some men cheat?” then you might want to consider these seven missing character traits.

So let’s delve into what these seven key character traits might be.

1. Integrity

Integrity is all about being honest and having strong moral principles.

A man with integrity values his commitments. He understands the importance of trust in a relationship and does everything he can to maintain it. He doesn’t make promises he can’t keep and is always truthful to his partner.

Yet, in instances where men cheat, this trait seems to be noticeably absent.

It’s not just about breaking a promise or going back on one’s word. It’s deeper than that. It’s about being unable to uphold the values that form the foundation of a strong relationship.

So, when a man lacks integrity, it often leads to actions that betray trust, such as cheating. And once that trust is broken, it can be incredibly difficult to rebuild.

2. Empathy

Empathy – the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.

It’s an incredibly important trait to have in a relationship. When you can put yourself in your partner’s shoes, you’re more likely to consider their feelings before your actions.

Regrettably, this is another trait that seems to be lacking among men who cheat.

I remember a friend of mine, let’s call him Jack. Jack was charismatic, fun and loved by all, but he had a wandering eye. He was involved with multiple women at the same time, while in a committed relationship.

One day, I asked him, “Jack, don’t you think about how your girlfriend would feel if she found out about your affairs?”

He just shrugged and said, “I guess I never really thought about it.”

That’s when it hit me. Jack lacked empathy. He couldn’t – or wouldn’t – see beyond his desires to consider the potential pain he was causing his girlfriend.

Empathy isn’t just about understanding others’ feelings. It’s about letting those feelings influence your actions in a positive way.

And when that’s missing in a relationship, it can pave the way for actions that hurt others, like cheating.

3. Self-discipline

Now, let’s talk about self-discipline.

It’s not the most glamorous trait, but boy, is it crucial. The ability to control one’s feelings and overcome one’s weaknesses; the ability to pursue what one thinks is right despite temptations to abandon it.

But guess what? It seems to be in short supply among men who cheat.

You see, a man might find someone else attractive even while in a committed relationship. It’s a part of being human. What separates the men who cheat from those who don’t is what they do with that attraction.

Do they fan the flames of that fleeting desire? Or do they acknowledge it, and then let it go, choosing instead to focus on their commitment?

That’s where self-discipline comes into play.

It’s about making the hard choice, even when the easy one is oh-so-tempting. It’s about valuing long-term happiness over short-term pleasure.

A man lacking self-discipline often succumbs to temptation, leading to actions that hurt those he loves most. And once those actions are out in the open, the damage can be irreparable.

4. Respect

Respect is something we all want, and it’s a fundamental trait for a healthy relationship.

When a man respects his partner, he values her feelings, thoughts, and well-being. He treats her as an equal and considers her needs just as important as his own.

However, when a man cheats, it’s a clear sign that respect is missing from the equation.

Cheating isn’t just about being attracted to someone else. It’s about making the conscious decision to act on that attraction, despite knowing it will hurt your partner. This shows a blatant disregard for the feelings and well-being of the other person.

And let’s be honest here – without respect, can there truly be love?

A relationship where one person doesn’t respect the other is like a house built on sand – unstable and destined to collapse. 

5. Honesty

Honesty – it’s one of the most sought-after traits in a partner.

When it comes to relationships, honesty is even more crucial. It’s about more than telling the truth; it’s about being authentic and genuine, not just with your partner, but with yourself as well.

However, men who cheat often lack this trait.

Cheating involves deception, lies, and false pretenses. It’s the opposite of being honest and transparent. It’s about creating an illusion, hiding behind a facade.

An honest man understands that truth builds trust, and trust is the foundation of any strong relationship. He knows that a lie can cause more damage than an unpleasant truth.

So remember, honesty isn’t just about telling your partner the truth; it’s about being real with yourself about who you are and what you want in a relationship.

6. Compassion

Compassion, in its simplest form, is kindness in action.

It’s about caring for your partner, showing genuine concern for their well-being, and being there for them, especially during tough times.

A compassionate man understands that his actions affect not just him, but also those around him. He knows that his choices can either build someone up or tear them down.

Yet, in the context of men who cheat, compassion seems to be glaringly absent.

Cheating is a selfish act. It’s about satisfying personal desires without considering the emotional turmoil it can cause the other person.

But here’s what a compassionate man would think: “Yes, I might find this other person attractive. But acting on this attraction will hurt my partner. And I can’t bear to see them hurt.”

It’s this deep sense of compassion that helps keep a relationship strong and healthy. 

7. Accountability

Accountability is about taking responsibility for your actions and their consequences.

A man who is accountable acknowledges his mistakes and learns from them. He doesn’t shift blame onto others or make excuses for his behavior.

In situations where a man cheats, there’s often a lack of accountability. Instead of admitting their wrongdoings, they might blame their partner or the circumstances.

But here’s the thing – it’s not about who’s at fault, it’s about who’s willing to make things right.

Accountability is the trait that closes the loop on infidelity. It’s the one that says, “Yes, I made a mistake, and I’m going to do better.” It’s about owning up to your actions and making amends.

This trait is what can transform a man from someone who cheats into someone who values and nurtures his relationships.

And it’s this transformation that can lead to healthier and more fulfilling relationships in the long run.