There’s a common misconception that strength and kindness can’t go hand in hand.

But if you look closely, you’ll find men who are robust exteriorly but possess a heart of gold.

These men, sturdy on the outside yet gentle and compassionate within, exhibit certain behaviors that set them apart.

And let me tell you, spotting these signs isn’t rocket science, it just requires a keen eye.

In this article, we’ll uncover the 10 telltale behaviors that scream “tough on the outside, soft on the inside”. 

Intrigued? Let’s dive in. 

1) They listen more than they speak

Listening is a skill that’s often underrated, but it’s a trait that strong yet gentle men have mastered.

Why? Because they understand the value of giving others the floor to express their thoughts and feelings. 

And the best part? When they do speak, their words carry weight because they are well thought out and meaningful.

2) They’re not afraid to show emotions

This is something I’ve personally witnessed in men who are outwardly strong but have a soft, kind heart.

I remember a time when I was going through a particularly tough patch in my life.

One of my closest friends, John, a man known for his physical strength and stoic demeanor, came over to my place.

John listened to me vent about my issues.

He didn’t interrupt or try to give unsolicited advice. Instead, he let me pour out all my frustrations and fears.

And then, he did something unexpected.

He shared his own experiences with similar situations, how he felt overwhelmed and scared too at times.

John’s openness about his own emotions helped me feel less alone in mine. 

Guess what? It’s these moments that truly embody the essence of being strong on the outside but soft and kind underneath.

3) They demonstrate respect for all

While respect is a fundamental value everyone should have, those who are physically strong but kind-hearted take this to another level. 

This trait is deeply rooted in the principles of chivalry, which may seem like a bygone era’s concept.

But despite being centuries old, its core values of respect, honor, and protection towards all, especially the vulnerable, are timeless.

So it seems that these strong but gentle men are onto something – treating everyone with respect isn’t just about being nice; it’s about being a leader.

4) They’re patient and understanding

In a world where everyone is in a rush, these men manage to remain calm even under pressure. 

Whether it’s dealing with a difficult situation at work or handling a personal crisis, they approach every situation with understanding and patience.

They see these as opportunities to learn and grow.

This patience extends to their interactions with others too.

They listen, empathize, and respond with understanding rather than jumping to conclusions or getting defensive – a true mark of their inner kindness.

5) They’re not afraid to apologize

Apologizing when you’re wrong is a sign of maturity, and this is something that tough men with a heart of gold aren’t afraid to do.

They understand that being wrong is part of being human.

Mistakes don’t make them weak; instead, acknowledging and learning from them shows their strength.

They don’t view apologies as a blow to their ego or an admission of defeat. Instead, they see it as a necessary step towards resolution and growth. 

6) They value relationships over ego

These men are aware that relationships are built on compromise and mutual respect.

And they are willing to set their ego aside for the sake of these values.

They would rather lose an argument than lose a person they care about.

It’s not about being a pushover; it’s about recognizing what truly matters in life and making conscious choices to protect and preserve it.

This is where their softness shines through their strength.

It’s in their willingness to put the needs of their loved ones before their own, in their capacity to love unconditionally, and in their ability to show kindness even when it’s hard.

7) They stand up for what’s right

I remember a day in high school when a group of bullies was picking on a new kid. Everyone was just standing around, doing nothing.

Everyone, except Mike.

Mike was the school’s star athlete, known for his strength and tough exterior. But that day, he showed us all something more.

He stepped in, defended the new kid, and stood up to the bullies.

What struck me wasn’t just his boldness, but the kindness with which he handled the situation.

He didn’t resort to violence or match the bullies’ rudeness.

Instead, he spoke firmly and respectfully, making it clear that bullying was not acceptable.

This act of standing up for what’s right, even when it’s difficult or unpopular, is a common behavior among men who are strong on the outside but soft and kind underneath. 

8) They know when to step back

While it might seem odd, knowing when to step back is actually a sign of strength. Strong yet meek men understand this well.

They know they don’t have to be the hero of every story or the one to always take charge.

They recognize that sometimes, the best thing they can do is to take a step back, give others a chance to shine, or simply allow things to unfold naturally.

But hey, this doesn’t imply they’re weak or indecisive.

On the contrary, it takes a lot of courage and wisdom to resist the urge to control everything and instead trust in the process or abilities of others.

9) They express gratitude frequently

Gratitude is a simple yet powerful expression of kindness, and men who are strong on the outside but soft inside aren’t shy about showing it.

They understand the value of expressing appreciation, not just for big gestures but also for the small acts of kindness that often go unnoticed.

They are quick to say ‘thank you’ and acknowledge the efforts of others.

This gratitude extends beyond mere words.

They show their appreciation through actions, whether it’s returning a favor, lending a helping hand, or simply being there for someone in their time of need.

10) They treat themselves with kindness

Above all, strong yet gentle men know how to treat themselves with kindness. 

They acknowledge their own feelings and needs, and they give themselves the same patience, understanding, and respect they offer to others.

They know that it’s only when they are kind to themselves that they can genuinely be kind to others.

Their strength is not just about their physical prowess or ability to handle tough situations.

It’s about their capacity to be gentle with themselves, to accept their flaws, and to continuously strive for personal growth.

Embracing the paradox

This paradoxical combination of external strength and internal softness is not a weakness but a testament to their emotional intelligence and maturity.

The behaviors of these men challenge societal norms, proving that it’s possible to be both tough and tender.

They remind us that gentleness does not negate strength; instead, it enhances it.

As we navigate through life, let’s remember these men and their paradoxical strength.

Because in a world that often equates toughness with harshness, it’s a breath of fresh air to encounter men who are strong on the outside but soft and kind underneath.