Men who are really difficult to be around often exhibit these 9 behaviors (without realizing it)

Avatar by Lachlan Brown | October 1, 2024, 4:03 pm

There’s a fine line between being assertive and downright difficult.

Often, men who are hard to be around don’t even realize they’re crossing this line.

They might think they’re just being themselves, not understanding that certain behaviors can make them a real challenge to deal with.

In this article, we’ll explore nine such behaviors that men might exhibit without even realizing how they come across.

Whether you’re a man looking for some self-reflection or someone dealing with a tough guy in your life, this one’s for you.

Let’s dive in.

1) Overbearing dominance

There’s a big difference between being a confident leader and imposing your will onto others.

Often, men who are difficult to be around don’t understand this distinction. They believe that asserting their dominance at all times is the key to respect. But it’s not; in fact, it often has the opposite effect.

The reality is, people appreciate leaders who can listen, empathize, and accept other viewpoints. A man who constantly dominates conversations, disregards others’ opinions, or insists on always having the final say can quickly become draining to be around.

This overbearing dominance often feels like a one-way street where one person does all the talking and decision-making, leaving no room for discussion or input from others.

2) Lack of emotional intelligence

We’ve all come across those people who seem oblivious to the feelings of those around them.

I vividly remember a former colleague of mine. He was intelligent and incredibly competent at his job, but he had a knack for saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. He would make sarcastic comments or jokes that came off as insensitive, often leaving people feeling uncomfortable or upset. He seemed completely unaware of how his words affected others.

This lack of emotional intelligence is a common trait among men who are difficult to be around. They struggle to read the room, misinterpret social cues, and show little empathy towards others. This can make interactions feel awkward and emotionally draining.

It’s important to remember that being aware of your own emotions and understanding how your actions affect those around you is a key part of forming healthy relationships.

3) Constant negativity

When you’re around someone who’s constantly complaining or seeing the worst in every situation, it can really bring you down.

Did you know that negativity can actually be contagious? Studies have shown that being around negative people can influence your own thoughts and emotions, leading to higher stress levels and a more pessimistic outlook.

Men who are often difficult to be around might frequently engage in this kind of negativity, turning every conversation into a gripe session or always playing the victim. This behavior can make them exhausting to be around and can even impact your own mental health.

4) Unwanted advice

Everyone appreciates a good piece of advice now and then. But there’s a time and a place for it.

Men who are difficult to be around often have this habit of constantly offering unsolicited advice. Whether it’s about your career, your relationships, or even your lifestyle choices, they always seem to have an opinion and aren’t shy about sharing it.

The issue here is that constant unsolicited advice can feel intrusive and disrespectful. It implies that they know better than you, undermining your ability to make decisions for yourself.

If you notice this pattern in your own behavior, it might be worth taking a step back and questioning whether your advice is genuinely wanted or needed.

And if you’re on the receiving end, remember it’s okay to politely decline advice that you didn’t ask for.

5) Avoidance of responsibility

Taking responsibility for our actions is a fundamental part of maturity and growth.

However, some men find this difficult and instead, choose to avoid responsibility whenever possible. They might blame others for their mistakes, make excuses for their behavior, or simply refuse to acknowledge when they’ve done something wrong.

This can make them not only difficult to be around but also difficult to trust. After all, if they can’t admit to minor mistakes, how can they be trusted with bigger responsibilities?

6) Lack of respect for boundaries

Respecting the personal space and emotional boundaries of others is a cornerstone of any healthy relationship.

Unfortunately, some men struggle with this concept. They might make inappropriate jokes, pry into personal matters, or continually push against the boundaries you’ve set. This lack of respect can feel invasive and unsettling, making them difficult to be around.

It’s worth noting that everyone has their own comfort zones and limits. What might seem trivial to one person can be deeply personal to another. We all have the right to establish our own boundaries and expect others to respect them.

7) Inflexibility

Change is a part of life. But for some men, sticking to their ways is more important than adapting to new circumstances or viewpoints.

I remember a time when I was planning a trip with a friend. He insisted on following the exact itinerary he had planned, refusing to consider any suggestions or changes, even when they made more sense. This rigidity made the trip stressful and less enjoyable than it could have been.

This inflexibility can make these men difficult to be around. When they’re unwilling to compromise or consider different perspectives, it can lead to tension and conflict.

8) Excessive competitiveness

A little competition can be healthy and motivating. But when taken to the extreme, it can become exhausting and create unnecessary tension.

Men who are often difficult to be around might turn everything into a competition, trying to outdo others at every turn. Whether it’s at work, in social situations, or even during casual conversations, their need to ‘win’ can overshadow the importance of cooperation and mutual respect.

This constant need to compete can make these men hard to be around, as it can feel like you’re always in a battle rather than a friendly interaction.

9) Disregard for others’ feelings

At the core of many difficult behaviors is a simple lack of regard for others’ feelings.

Men who are hard to be around often ignore or dismiss the emotions of those around them. This disregard can manifest itself in many ways, from making insensitive remarks to ignoring clear signs of discomfort or distress.

Ignoring the feelings of others isn’t just rude—it’s harmful. It can lead to lasting emotional damage and broken relationships.

In conclusion: It’s about growth

The behaviors we’ve discussed aren’t necessarily indicative of ‘bad’ men. They’re behaviors that some men, and indeed some people, exhibit without realizing their impact on others. And that’s the key here – realization.

Change begins with self-awareness. Recognizing these behaviors in ourselves or others is the first step towards growth and improvement.

Remember the wise words of Carl Jung, “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”

So whether you recognized these behaviors in someone else or identified them within yourself, take this moment as an opportunity for growth. Because at the end of the day, we’re all works in progress, continuously learning and evolving.

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