Narcissism isn’t always loud and in your face. There’s a subtler form that can be harder to spot but just as damaging.

In my experience, quietly narcissistic men often display certain behaviors that give away their true nature.

These patterns are usually overlooked or misconstrued as something else. But once you know what to look for, they become glaringly obvious.

In this article, I’ll share with you the 9 behaviors that these men typically exhibit. And trust me, it’s not always what you’d expect.

1) Subtle superiority

A quiet narcissist doesn’t always have to be the loudest person in the room. In fact, they often aren’t. But that doesn’t mean they don’t believe they’re better than everyone else.

It’s all in their attitude and mannerisms. They might not outright say they’re superior, but their actions and comments often imply it.

For instance, they might constantly one-up your stories or subtly put down your accomplishments. Or they might have this air of certainty about them, as if they’re always right and everyone else is just misguided.

It’s a subtle form of superiority that’s harder to spot than the typical narcissistic bragging, but once you notice it, it’s hard to ignore.

2) Lack of empathy

Another thing I’ve noticed about quietly narcissistic men is their lack of empathy. They struggle to truly understand or share the feelings of others.

I remember a time when a friend of mine was going through a rough patch. Most of us rallied around him, offering support and kind words. But one person in our group, let’s call him John, just didn’t seem to get it.

John would listen to my friend’s issues and respond with something like, “Well, at least you’re not dealing with what I’m dealing with.” Or he’d just change the subject entirely. He never seemed to grasp the seriousness of my friend’s situation, or show genuine concern.

This lack of empathy is a common trait in narcissists, even the quiet ones. It’s not that they can’t feel empathy – they just choose not to.

3) Projection

Narcissists, particularly the quiet ones, are masters of projection. This is a psychological defense mechanism where they attribute their own negative traits or behaviors to others.

For example, if a narcissist is being manipulative, they may accuse you of being the manipulator. It’s a way of deflecting attention away from their own shortcomings and putting the blame on someone else.

Interestingly, Sigmund Freud was the first to introduce the concept of projection in his works. He believed that it was a way for individuals to deal with unwanted feelings or thoughts – by attributing them to someone else. This concept is now widely recognized in psychology and often linked with narcissistic behavior.

4) Gaslighting

One of the most unsettling behaviors of a quiet narcissist is gaslighting. This is when they manipulate you into doubting your own memory, perception, or sanity.

It might start off subtly. They might dismiss your feelings or thoughts, telling you that you’re overreacting or being too sensitive. Over time, this behavior can escalate to the point where they outright deny things that have happened or twist the facts to fit their narrative.

Dealing with gaslighting can be incredibly confusing and emotionally draining. It’s a form of psychological manipulation that can leave you questioning your own reality.

5) Silent treatment

Quietly narcissistic men often use the silent treatment as a form of punishment. If you do something they don’t like or disagree with them, they may give you the cold shoulder.

Instead of confronting the issue directly, they’ll withdraw and become unresponsive. It’s their way of showing disapproval and asserting control.

The silent treatment is not only immature but it can also be emotionally damaging. It’s a passive-aggressive form of communication that serves no purpose other than to hurt the other person and make them feel powerless.

6) Emotional unavailability

One of the most heart-wrenching traits of a quietly narcissistic man is emotional unavailability. They may appear charming and engaging on the surface, but when it comes to forming a deep, emotional connection, they fall short.

They’re often incapable of truly opening up and being vulnerable. They might avoid serious conversations about feelings or dismiss them altogether. This can leave their partners feeling alone and unappreciated.

The inability to connect on an emotional level can be deeply painful for those in a relationship with a quiet narcissist. It’s like trying to form a bond with someone who’s locked behind an impenetrable wall.

7) Criticism

I’ve found that quietly narcissistic men have a knack for delivering criticism. And not the constructive kind. They often use criticism as a tool to belittle others and boost their own ego.

I once had a colleague who fit this description perfectly. No matter how hard I worked or how much I achieved, he always found something to criticize. He would pick at the smallest flaws and blow them out of proportion, making me feel inadequate and unappreciated.

It took me a while to realize that his criticism had more to do with him than with me. It was his way of asserting dominance and maintaining a sense of superiority.

8) Entitlement

A quietly narcissistic man often has an inflated sense of entitlement. He believes he deserves special treatment and expects others to cater to his needs, without giving much in return.

They often have unrealistic expectations from their partners, colleagues, and even friends. They expect others to go out of their way to please them, while they seldom show gratitude or reciprocate the effort.

This sense of entitlement can be incredibly draining for those around them. It’s like dealing with a perpetual child who demands constant attention and care, but rarely shows appreciation.

9) Lack of remorse

Perhaps the most alarming trait of a quietly narcissistic man is his lack of remorse. Despite their actions causing pain or harm to others, they seldom feel guilt or express genuine regret.

They might apologize if they’re caught or called out, but it’s usually a superficial gesture, more about saving face than about acknowledging wrongdoing.

This lack of conscience is one of the most telling signs of a narcissist. It reveals a fundamental lack of empathy and a disregard for the feelings and well-being of others.