Do you ever wonder if your guy is only loving when it suits him?

I get it. Sometimes, it’s hard to tell.

He’s sweet as pie one moment and cold as ice the next. It’s confusing and, frankly, a little frustrating.

You might feel like you’re on a rollercoaster, unsure of what mood you’ll encounter next.

Trust me, you’re not alone in feeling this way.

Many of us struggle with partners who seem to flip their affection on and off like a switch.

But here’s the thing: he might not even realize he’s doing it. The signs aren’t always crystal clear.

So today, let’s delve into some common behaviors displayed by men who are only loving when it’s convenient, often without them even realizing it.

I’m not here to convince you to stay in a relationship that leaves you feeling unloved or undervalued.

If you’re feeling this way, perhaps it’s time for a change.

But first, let’s look at these signs… they might just open your eyes.

1) His attention is inconsistent

You know what I’m talking about. One day he’s all over you, showering you with affection and making you feel like you’re the only person in the world that matters. 

The next day, he’s distant, preoccupied, and just not there for you emotionally. If this sounds familiar, it might be a sign that his affection is conditional.

I’ve been there myself. With my ex, everything was great whenever things were going well for him. 

But as soon as he hit a bump in the road, whether it be work-related or something personal, I found myself pushed to the side. 

It took me a while to realize that his love wasn’t constant, it was only there when convenient for him.

2) He’s there for the good times but not the bad

Life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows. We have our ups and downs, and it’s during these difficult times that we need our partners the most. 

But if your man is only around when things are going great, and suddenly becomes scarce when the going gets tough, it might be another sign of convenience-based love.

I remember when my grandmother fell ill. It was a tough time for me, and I needed someone to lean on.

But instead of being there for me, my then-boyfriend chose to keep his distance. He was all about the fun times we had together but couldn’t handle the rough patches. 

This was a red flag I wish I had paid more attention to earlier on.

3) He avoids difficult conversations

Does your guy shy away from having difficult conversations?

Instead of addressing issues head-on, does he prefer to sweep them under the rug, hoping they’ll just disappear?

People who avoid conflict and difficult conversations often do so because they fear negative outcomes.

This could be a sign that he’s not fully committed to the relationship, as commitment means being willing to work through problems together, even when it’s hard.

4) He doesn’t make sacrifices

Love, at its core, is about being selfless. It’s about putting the needs and wants of another person before your own.

If your man is only around when it suits him and doesn’t make sacrifices for you, it’s likely his love is conditional.

I remember a friend of mine, Lucy. She was in love with a man who would never compromise. Whether it was choosing a restaurant or planning a holiday, his preferences always took priority. 

What Lucy failed to realize was that love isn’t just about the grand gestures; it’s also seen in the little sacrifices we make for each other. 

Love is about compromise, and if he’s unwilling to give up even the smallest things for you, it’s time to question his intentions.

5) His words don’t match his actions

One of the biggest red flags? When his words don’t match his actions.

He might tell you he loves you, but if his actions don’t reflect that, it’s a clear sign that his love might be convenience-based.

I’ve experienced this firsthand. My ex would always tell me how much he cared about me, but when it came down to showing it, he was nowhere to be found. 

Whether it was forgetting to call when he said he would or not being there for me when I needed him the most, his actions never lined up with his words. 

It was a hard pill to swallow, but it taught me a valuable lesson: love is shown through actions, not just words.

6) He’s not interested in your life

Is your man interested in your life, in the things that matter to you?

If he’s only loving when it’s convenient, chances are he’s not really invested in your world. He might not show interest in your day, your work, or even your hobbies.

I dated someone like this once.

He would listen to me talk about my day or my interests, but I could tell he was only half-listening. His eyes would glaze over or he’d change the subject quickly.

It was clear his heart wasn’t really in it.

7) He doesn’t include you in future plans

When a man loves you, he sees a future with you. He includes you in his plans – whether they’re for next week or next year. 

But a man who’s only loving when it’s convenient might not do this.

This reminds me of a time when I was planning a holiday with my then-boyfriend. 

I noticed he was always vague about our future together. He’d say things like “we’ll see” or “let’s not rush into anything”. 

It wasn’t until later that I realized he was avoiding making long-term commitments because his love was conditional.

8) He doesn’t make an effort to resolve conflicts

Every relationship has conflicts, it’s inevitable. 

But how a man handles these conflicts says a lot about how much he values the relationship.

If he’s only loving when it’s convenient, he probably won’t put much effort into resolving issues.

In my friend Sarah’s relationship, her partner would avoid addressing any problems they had. Instead of trying to work things out, he would just ignore them until they went away on their own. 

It wasn’t long before Sarah realized that this was not the kind of love she deserved.

9) He only shows affection privately

True love isn’t afraid to be seen. It’s proud, bold, and doesn’t care who knows about it.

I remember a relationship where my partner would only show me affection when we were alone. 

In public, he would barely hold my hand. It was as if he was a completely different person behind closed doors. It became clear that his love was only there when it suited him.

These are just some of the signs that your man might only be loving when it’s convenient for him. 

Remember, you deserve someone who loves you unconditionally, who is there for you through the good times and the bad. 

Don’t settle for anything less.