Did you know recent research shows that men are feeling lonelier than ever?

Compared to 30 years ago, men now have fewer close friends. 15% have no close friends, an astounding 500% increase since 1990!

What’s more, societal expectations and stereotypes mean that men are less likely to talk about their feelings compared to women.

Often, the only indicators of loneliness in men are through their behaviors.

So, if a man in your life seems detached, unsatisfied, and isolated, look for these 8 subtle behaviors…

1) Over working

Overworking is a classic sign of unhappiness and loneliness in a man. 

When men feel lonely, they feel a deep void within them.

If they cannot fill the void in the way they want (i.e., a loving partner or trusted friend), they will start focusing on something else to lessen the pain of loneliness.

For many men, their career is the easiest thing to throw themselves into. 

So they start arriving at the office earlier and leaving later. Soon, they’ve gained the reputation of being the first one in and the last one out.

Colleagues may make jokes toward them, such as ‘Don’t you have a family to go home to?’ hitting the nail on the head without realizing it.

There is a difference between being dedicated and driven in your job and being unhealthily obsessed with it.

Sure, the men in question will probably claim they are just ambitious.

But the truth is most men who overwork don’t have loved ones to go home to or feel disconnected from the people in their lives. 

When men lean on their careers as a coping mechanism for loneliness, this can lead to burnout and further isolation from the people in their lives.

Here’s another way that men may channel their loneliness…

2) Spending excessive time working out

Sure, many men enjoy spending hours in the gym or working out every day, and it has nothing to do with loneliness. 

But often, when a man feels lonely, he will look for ways to take his mind off his feelings, and one of the most common ways is hitting the gym.

He will likely claim he is trying to get in shape or improve his health. But over time, you might sense a bit of obsession with this hobby.

For example, if a guy starts spending entire evenings at the gym, this might be because he wants to avoid going home to an empty house. 

He realizes that being in a busy gym surrounded by people keeps his feelings of loneliness at bay. So he starts spending more and more time there and less and less time at home.

But it doesn’t have to be working out; a lonely man may spend excessive time on another hobby, such as playing a musical instrument or gaming.

These things can be healthy when done in moderation. 

But if you notice a guy is throwing themselves into a particular pastime, it could signal that they are using that activity as an escape.

This brings me to one of the most common escapist behaviors lonely men turn to…

3) Excessive social media scrolling

Social media is one modern-day activity that serves as an escape for both men and women. 

Social media partly fulfills our need for connection, acceptance, and validation. With each like we get, we feel less lonely and more seen.

Research supports this. 

A recent study published in ​​Health Psychology and Behavioral Medicine found that the participants who spent the most time on social media experienced the highest levels of loneliness.

That’s why lonely men will spend a lot of time scrolling on their phones. 

They may develop online friendships, trying to fill the void of the in-person connection they seek. 

However, it’s important to remember that likes, comments, and shares only offer temporary relief. 

As research has found, negative experiences on social media (such as no one liking our posts) increase feelings of loneliness and lead to depression.

4) Binge eating

This is another coping mechanism that is common in men who are struggling with intense emotions like loneliness.

Binge eating indicates that a man is unhappy with his life and, thus, feels like a failure. 

And because they do not know how to manage their overwhelming feelings nor feel they can talk to anyone, they end up essentially eating their feelings.

The self-destructive behavior may provide temporary relief from loneliness. 

But after a binging episode, they will feel ten times worse about themselves, and thus, it deepens the problem.

Other self-destructive behaviors in men include:

• Binge drinking or excessive alcohol consumption
• Taking drugs or smoking weed excessively
• Gambling
• Increased spending habits

5) Serial dating

Often, the loneliest guys are those who have a different girl on their arm every week.

While they have no problem finding women and getting laid, they struggle to cultivate any meaningful connection with them.

As a result, they become serial daters or start hooking up with girls every night in a way to try to fill their void.

Men who are lonely in life may also develop very superficial relationships with women that are purely about sex.

To others, they might look like a player or someone who fears commitment, but in reality, deep connection is what they want the most; they just can’t seem to get it.

But rather than dealing with the root cause of their inability to foster deep connections, they blame the women, claiming they are crazy, are not “wife material,” and so on.

Alternatively, loneliness can lead to unhealthy behavioral patterns like clinginess, jealousy, or codependency, which drive their potential partners away.

6) Trouble sleeping

While men may be good at ignoring their feelings during the day (by using the above coping mechanisms), there is one time when they can’t escape themselves…

At night.

Some research studies have found links between loneliness and sleep problems. 

In particular, researchers found people who are lonely wake up more during the night than those who are not.

This suggests that they are tossing and turning in bed, trying to push their unresolved emotions away.

Of course, lack of sleep causes problems during the day, including:

• Difficulty focusing
• Constantly feeling tired
• Poor memory
• Inability to think clearly

So, if you notice a man who seems overly tired and displays other behaviors on this list, loneliness may be the culprit.

7) Getting angry easily

Lack of sleep can also cause increased irritability, but there are other links between loneliness and anger.

When men struggle to cope with their internal turmoil, they may become short-tempered or easily agitated. This leads them to lash out at others, including their loved ones.

This is because people dealing with loneliness often experience heightened and intense emotions. 

If they do not have a healthy way to manage these feelings, they manifest as mood swings; thus, the feelings get directed towards others. 

Of course, this behavior can harm the man’s existing relationships. And if his anger causes his relationships to break down, his feelings of loneliness will increase further.

8) Lacking motivation & enthusiasm 

Research from various countries and cultures agrees that friendship is vital for our well-being and happiness.

When we lack connection, we lack zest for life.

So, if a man is lonely, he may come across as:

• Pessimistic
• Unfocused
• Unsure of where his life is going

He may struggle to stay motivated on his goals or lose enthusiasm for the things that once lit him up.

Research has found there is a lot of similarity between loneliness and depression. 

In fact, lonely people often withdraw from social interactions. 

Yes, if someone feels isolated, they might isolate themselves further.

Why?

Someone who is incredibly lonely may feel inadequate or like something is wrong with them. 

They might also fear social rejection as this would exaggerate their loneliness. So, to protect themselves, they decline social invitations. 

Final thoughts

Recognizing loneliness in men can be difficult as they tend to avoid discussing their feelings. 

However, this typically leads to adopting the coping mechanisms mentioned above. So, if you notice several of these subtle behaviors in a man, he could be struggling with loneliness.