There’s a significant difference between being self-interested and deeply selfish.

Self-interest is natural, we all have needs and desires. But being deeply selfish is when someone prioritizes their wants over others’ needs without even realizing it.

Men who fall into this category often display certain behaviors. Unknowingly, they reveal their selfish tendencies through subtle signs.

In this piece, we’re going to highlight the 8 subtle behaviors that men, who are deeply selfish, usually exhibit without being aware of it. So buckle up, this is going to be an eye-opener!

1) Me first

One of the standout behaviors of men who are deeply selfish is having a ‘Me first’ mentality.

This isn’t about being self-sufficient or independent, which are admirable traits. Instead, this is about always putting their needs, desires, and priorities above everyone else’s.

Imagine you’re at dinner with your partner. You’ve had a long day, you’re starving and all you want to do is eat. But instead of waiting for your partner’s meal to arrive before you start eating, you dig in. The message this sends? Your hunger is more important than the courtesy of waiting for them.

Such a ‘Me first’ attitude often creeps into their actions without them realizing it. It’s not that they deliberately want to hurt or disrespect others; they’re just not tuned into the needs and feelings of those around them.

But remember, acknowledging this trait is the first step towards making a change for the better.

2) Listening but not hearing

Another behavior I’ve noticed in deeply selfish men is their tendency to listen without actually hearing.

Let me share a personal example. I once had a friend who could sit with you for hours while you talked about something important to you, but he never seemed to absorb any of it. He’d nod at the right times, throw in an occasional “hmm” or “I see”, but when it came down to it, he couldn’t remember any of the details you had shared. It was as if he was physically present but mentally elsewhere.

This kind of behavior sends a clear message: your words, your feelings, and your experiences aren’t important enough for them to pay attention to.

Men who are deeply selfish don’t do this intentionally. They just tend to be preoccupied with their own thoughts and concerns, making it hard for them to truly engage with what others are saying. Recognizing this behavior is crucial for improving communication and strengthening relationships.

3) Lack of empathy

Empathy, or the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, is a fundamental part of human interaction. But did you know that some people are naturally more empathetic than others?

Men who are deeply selfish often struggle with empathy. They find it difficult to put themselves in someone else’s shoes or to consider how their actions might affect others.

For instance, a man might cancel plans with a friend at the last minute without considering how it would inconvenience the friend. In his mind, his need to rest or do something else takes precedence over his commitment.

This lack of understanding and consideration for others’ feelings can make interactions with deeply selfish individuals challenging and often hurtful. It’s an integral part of their behavior they may not even be aware of.

4) Reluctance to share

Sharing is a fundamental part of human relationships. It cultivates a sense of community and fosters trust. However, men who are deeply selfish may display a reluctance to share.

This doesn’t just refer to physical possessions like food or money, but also to time and emotional support. They may be more inclined to keep things to themselves, unwilling to give without expecting something in return.

For example, they might be reluctant to lend a helping hand unless they see a direct benefit for themselves. They may not offer their time or effort unless they’re sure they’ll get something out of it.

This reluctance to share isn’t always a conscious decision; it’s often an ingrained behavior that selfish people don’t realize they’re exhibiting. Recognizing this behavior can be an important step in understanding and addressing deep-seated selfishness.

5) Ignoring boundaries

A deeply selfish man may often disregard the lines drawn by others. Respect for personal boundaries is a cornerstone of healthy relationships, but this respect might be lacking in those who are deeply selfish.

I remember having a roommate who would regularly use my things without asking. It wasn’t that he meant any harm, but to him, the concept of personal boundaries simply didn’t register. His wants took precedence over respecting my space and belongings.

This lack of respect for boundaries isn’t limited to just physical space. It can also extend into emotional territory, where they may disregard feelings or invade personal thoughts without invitation.

It’s important to remember, though, that these men often don’t realize they’re crossing lines. Bringing this behavior to their attention can be a starting point for change.

6) Failing to admit wrongs

One behavior that deeply selfish men often exhibit is a reluctance to admit when they’ve made a mistake or done something wrong.

I’ve known people who would go to great lengths to avoid admitting their errors, even when it was blatantly obvious. Their ego, their self-image, was more important to them than accepting responsibility for their actions.

For instance, instead of apologizing for forgetting an important date, they might make excuses or even blame others for not reminding them. This refusal to accept mistakes not only strains relationships but also hinders personal growth.

It’s not an easy trait to change, but acknowledging it is the first step toward improvement.

7) Always needing to be right

In a healthy discussion, differing opinions can lead to mutual growth and understanding. But for men who are deeply selfish, it’s often about winning the argument rather than finding common ground.

They feel a compelling need to always be right, even at the cost of damaging relationships. They may dismiss others’ views or ideas without giving them due consideration, simply because they don’t align with their own.

For example, during a group discussion, they might stubbornly stick to their point of view, unwilling to consider the merits of other perspectives. This behavior often stems from an inflated sense of self-importance and an unwillingness to appear wrong or weak.

Remember, it’s not about proving others wrong, but about understanding and respect. Recognizing this behavior can pave the way for more productive and respectful discussions.

8) Lack of gratitude

Gratitude is a powerful emotion, one that can turn a simple act into a profound connection. But for deeply selfish men, expressing gratitude often takes a backseat.

They may take things for granted, failing to acknowledge the efforts others make on their behalf. This might be because they see it as their due or simply because they’re too focused on their own wants and needs.

For instance, they might accept a favor without expressing thanks, or consistently fail to appreciate the work someone does for them. This lack of gratitude can make others feel undervalued and taken for granted.

But remember, everyone deserves to be appreciated for their efforts. A simple ‘thank you’ can go a long way in fostering mutual respect and understanding.

Final thought: It’s a journey

The complexity of human behavior is deeply intertwined with a multitude of factors – upbringing, experiences, and even genetic predispositions.

In the case of deeply selfish men, it’s essential to remember that these behaviors are often unconscious and ingrained over time. A man displaying these traits isn’t necessarily malicious or unsympathetic. He might simply be unaware of his actions and their impact on others.

The American psychologist Carl Rogers once said, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” This holds true here as well. Recognizing and accepting these behaviors is the first step towards change.

Whether it’s developing empathy, respecting boundaries, or cultivating gratitude, it’s a journey of self-improvement that requires patience, understanding, and most importantly – self-awareness.

But remember, everyone has the capacity for change. And sometimes, all it takes is a little nudge in the right direction.