There’s a fine line between persuasion and manipulation, especially when it comes to relationships.

Manipulation, unlike influence, is a covert way of getting someone to do what you want without them noticing your real motives.

And guess what? This can happen in relationships too.

Identifying such behaviors can be tough, as they often fly under the radar. But I’m here to shed some light on this subject.

In this article, we will delve into 7 manipulative behaviors of women in relationships that most people overlook.

By the end of it, you might just realize that some things aren’t as innocent as they seem.

1) Subtle guilt-tripping

We all want our partners to understand our feelings, but guilt-tripping takes it to a whole new level, often without them even realizing it.

Picture this: a partner makes a casual remark about how they’re feeling “a little neglected” because you’ve been busy.

On the surface, it sounds like they’re just sharing their feelings.

But if it’s paired with little sighs, an extra sad look, or maybe a reminder of “all the things I do for you,” it starts to feel like an invitation to guilt.

These are the subtle nudges that can make you feel responsible for their emotional state, even when you haven’t done anything wrong.

What makes subtle guilt-tripping so manipulative is that it’s often wrapped in a layer of plausible deniability.

They might say, “I’m not trying to make you feel guilty; I just wanted to share how I feel.”

But that soft push to make you reconsider your actions is very intentional.

This approach doesn’t just influence how you act in the moment; it can train you to walk on eggshells, always second-guessing if what you’re doing will trigger that guilt trip.

Over time, it creates an emotional imbalance, making you more focused on their feelings than your own boundaries.

2) Playing the victim card

Playing the victim card might be one of the most overlooked forms of manipulation because it often looks like vulnerability.

In this tactic, a partner frames situations in a way that makes them appear helpless, constantly wronged, or misunderstood. 

It’s all about shifting blame and avoiding responsibility.

She might make a mistake, but somehow, it’s never her fault.

There’s always an excuse or someone else to blame, sometimes even you.

It could be as simple as making every conflict seem like a personal attack or painting themselves as the one who’s “always giving” while everyone else (especially you) falls short.

By consistently casting themselves as the “victim,” they create a scenario where you feel pressured to rescue, console, or apologize—even if you did nothing wrong.

What’s tricky about the victim card is that it taps into natural empathy.

No one wants to see their partner upset, and the instinct to comfort can be strong.

But when used as a manipulation tool, this behavior can drain your emotional resources, subtly steering the relationship to revolve around their needs and sensitivities.

Instead of taking accountability or working through issues, they redirect the focus to their pain, ultimately pushing you into the role of caretaker.

Playing the victim card is a classic manipulation tactic.

It’s a way of controlling the narrative to avoid taking responsibility. 

3) Using silent treatment

Have you ever had a partner who froze you out after they didn’t get what they want?

That’s the silent treatment, and according to Choosing Therapy, it’s often used as a means of punishment, emotional manipulation, or control. 

I’ll admit, I’ve experienced this one firsthand. I once dated someone who would go completely silent whenever we had a disagreement, even over minor things.

If I didn’t respond how they expected or couldn’t rearrange my plans to suit them, she’d go cold, almost as if I didn’t exist.

It felt like I was being locked out, and I’d end up pacing around, wondering what I did to deserve the freeze-out.

It wasn’t just uncomfortable—it was exhausting. I’d find myself reaching out, apologizing for things I didn’t even believe were my fault, all just to break the silence.

Looking back, I realize how much power this silence gave her.

By shutting me out, she’d figured out how to keep me in line, always on edge, trying to avoid another round of cold treatment.

The silent treatment can really mess with your head because it’s not about discussing a problem; it’s about control.

Healthy communication means airing grievances and working through them together.

Silence just keeps one person in the dark, always guessing, and that’s never the foundation for a balanced relationship.

4) Overly possessive

Possessiveness often gets mistaken for love or care.

But when it crosses a certain boundary, it becomes a form of manipulation.

This could manifest in behaviors like:

• Excessive jealousy
• Constant checking in
• Isolating you from your friends and family.

It’s basically an attempt to control you and your life, under the guise of concern. 

Little by little, they chip away at your connections with others, making you feel like they’re the only person you can rely on. 

When possessiveness shows up as “concern,” it can be hard to spot.

But healthy love doesn’t try to control you—it supports and trusts you.

Real care means giving each other space to grow, rather than making someone feel they need permission to live their own life.

5) Gaslighting

Gaslighting is a potent and truly insidious form of psychological manipulation, and sadly, I’ve experienced this firsthand.

It’s when someone manipulates you into questioning your own reality or sanity.

In my case, my partner would deny things she had said or done and accuse me of making them up.

This constant doubt and second-guessing yourself can be incredibly damaging.

It undermines your trust in your own memory and judgement.

Gaslighting is a serious form of manipulation and should not be taken lightly.

If you find yourself in a similar position, know that it’s not your fault and reach out for help.

6) Emotional blackmail

This is one of the most powerful manipulation tactics out there – using your emotions against you.

Emotional blackmail could involve threats, ultimatums, or playing with your fears and insecurities.

The goal is to make you comply with their wishes, driven by fear of the consequences.

If you hear statements like these:

• “If you really loved me, you’d do this for me.”
• “If you don’t do what I want, I’ll leave you.” 
• “After everything I’ve done for you, this is how you treat me?”
• “Fine, if you won’t help me, I’ll just figure it out myself—even if it’s hard.”

…you’re in a relationship with someone who uses fear, obligation, or guilt to make you do what they want.

Listen, love should never feel like a hostage situation. It’s about respect, understanding, and freedom of choice. 

7) Twisting the truth

Above all else, manipulative behavior often involves a distortion of reality.

Twisting the truth, reframing situations, and outright lying are all ways to manipulate others.

This tactic can be incredibly disorienting and damaging.

It makes you question your memory, your understanding, and even your sanity.

Honesty and trust are the cornerstones of any relationship.

If you find yourself constantly dealing with twisted truths, it’s time to take a stand.

It’s not just about a lie – it’s about manipulation and control.

Final thoughts: It’s about respect

The essence of any relationship lies in mutual respect and understanding.

Manipulative behaviors, often disguised as expressions of love or concern, erode this foundation, turning relationships into a power play.

It’s not always easy to see the line between influence and manipulation.

But one thing to always remember is that love should never be about control.

It should be about fostering growth, understanding and mutual respect.

As renowned psychotherapist Esther Perel said, “The quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives”.

So let’s strive for relationships built on respect, honesty and genuine love.