Women who become more elegant and refined as they get older usually display these 7 subtle behaviors

Eliza Hartley by Eliza Hartley | March 17, 2025, 1:34 pm

There’s a unique grace about women who seem to grow more elegant as they age. It’s not about the pricy designer clothes or expensive beauty treatments. It’s subtle, yet noticeable, and often lies in their behaviors.

These women don’t just happen upon elegance; they cultivate it over time. They understand that refinement isn’t tied to youth but blooms with age.

In this article, I’m going to share with you the seven subtle behaviors that these graceful women tend to display. Trust me, it’s more about the mindset and less about the mirror.

If you’re intrigued, keep reading. You might just discover the secret to aging elegantly isn’t as elusive as you think.

1) Embracing change

We’ve all heard the saying, “Change is the only constant in life.” Yet, many of us resist it.

Women who grow more elegant as they age understand that change is inevitable. They don’t just accept it; they embrace it. They know that every phase of life brings its own beauty and challenges.

Instead of clinging to their youth, these women adapt. They refine their style, update their mindset, and evolve with the times.

They understand that a part of being elegant is being relevant. And relevance comes from understanding and adapting to the world around us.

Remember, elegance and refinement aren’t about trying to turn back time. They’re about moving gracefully through it.

So let’s take a leaf out of their book and see change not as a threat but as an opportunity for growth and refinement.

2) Cultivating kindness

Kindness is often overlooked, but it’s a crucial aspect of elegance. Women who age gracefully understand that a gentle spirit and a kind heart are more appealing than any anti-aging cream.

I’ve learned this from my own experience. Let me share a story with you.

Once, I was at a gathering where I had the pleasure of meeting a woman named Margaret. She was in her late seventies, but her energy was infectious. She had this aura that was hard to ignore.

As the evening progressed, I noticed something intriguing. Margaret was never the loudest in the room, nor did she dominate conversations. Yet, everyone sought her company.

It was her kindness that drew people in. She listened with interest, treated everyone with respect, and offered words of encouragement when needed. Her elegance wasn’t about her attire or her physical beauty; it was about how she treated others.

From that day onwards, I realized that cultivating kindness was key to becoming more elegant and refined with age. It’s a lesson I’ve carried with me ever since.

3) Practicing mindfulness

The most elegant women I’ve encountered have a certain calm and presence about them. They are fully present in their conversations, their actions, and their lives. This is because they practice mindfulness.

Mindfulness is about living in the moment, fully engaged with whatever we’re doing at the time. It’s easy to let life rush by without really noticing it, but elegant women understand that every moment counts.

In my book, “The Art of Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Living in the Moment,” I delve deeper into this concept. I believe that mindfulness is a key component of elegance because it allows us to appreciate and enjoy life more fully.

For example, consider a simple act like drinking tea. An elegant woman doesn’t just gulp it down; she savors it. She notices the warmth of the cup, the aroma of the tea, and the taste on her tongue. She’s not thinking about her next task or dwelling on the past; she’s fully present in that moment.

By practicing mindfulness, you can enhance your experiences and interactions, making them richer and more meaningful. And isn’t that a beautiful way to live?

4) Learning from mistakes

I’m no stranger to blunders. I’ve had my fair share of faux pas, both in terms of fashion and behavior. There was a time when I would beat myself up over these mistakes, allowing them to cast a shadow over my self-confidence.

But as I grew older and wiser, I realized that mistakes are part of the learning process. The most elegant and refined women aren’t the ones who never make mistakes; they are the ones who learn from them.

Rather than dwelling on the missteps, they use them as stepping stones to improve and grow. They don’t let errors define them; instead, they let the lessons shape them.

So if you’ve ever tripped in your high heels or said something you regret, remember this: every mistake is an opportunity to become more elegant and refined. It’s all about learning, adapting, and moving forward.

5) Embracing imperfections

Here’s something you might not expect: the most elegant and refined women aren’t perfect. In fact, they embrace their imperfections.

In a world that often glorifies perfection, this might seem counter-intuitive. But there’s something incredibly graceful about accepting and even celebrating our flaws.

These women understand that it’s our quirks and idiosyncrasies that make us unique. They don’t try to fit into some cookie-cutter mold of what society deems “perfect.” Instead, they let their individuality shine.

They might have laugh lines from years of shared joy, or silver strands in their hair marking time’s passage. But instead of hiding these “imperfections,” they wear them with pride.

Embracing your imperfections doesn’t mean disregarding self-improvement. It’s about acknowledging that you’re a work in progress and loving yourself anyway. And there’s something truly elegant about that.

6) Investing in self-care

Elegance isn’t just about looking good; it’s about feeling good too. That’s why women who age gracefully make self-care a priority.

These women understand that taking care of their mental, emotional, and physical health is essential. They nourish their bodies with healthy food, keep their minds sharp with stimulating activities, and ensure they get enough rest.

They also take time to do things they love. Whether it’s reading a good book, going for a walk in nature, or indulging in a spa day, these women understand the importance of recharging their batteries.

Remember, self-care isn’t selfish. It’s essential. And investing in it is one of the key behaviors displayed by women who become more elegant and refined as they get older.

7) Cultivating inner beauty

At the end of the day, true elegance and refinement come from within. Women who age gracefully understand this. They invest time and effort in cultivating their inner beauty.

They’re gracious, respectful, and have a positive mindset. They know their worth and don’t seek validation from others.

They’re comfortable in their own skin and radiate confidence.

Because they understand that while physical beauty may fade, inner beauty only grows with time. And that’s the most attractive trait of all.

Final thoughts: It’s an inside job

Elegance and refinement aren’t just about the external image; they’re about the internal journey.

These women we’ve spoken about, who grow more elegant as they age, have something in common: they focus on cultivating their inner selves. They understand that true elegance is about character, grace, and wisdom.

In my book, “The Art of Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Living in the Moment,” I explore how mindfulness can help us in this journey. It’s not just about living in the present; it’s also about being aware of our thoughts, emotions, and actions.

Because the truth is, elegance isn’t a trait you’re born with or something you can buy off a rack. It’s a mindset, a way of life. And it’s available to anyone willing to put in the effort.

So as you move forward, remember this: refining yourself and becoming more elegant as you age is an inside job.

It’s about becoming the best version of yourself, one day at a time. And trust me, there’s nothing more beautiful or elegant than that.