When a Boomer says, “In my day, we walked five miles to school uphill both ways”, you know they’re trying to teach resilience. When they quip, “Just get a job and work hard”, it’s clear they believe in the value of grit.

And so goes the basics of generational communication.

Yet, it’s not always that straightforward. The generational gap can be a minefield of misunderstood intentions and misplaced advice. To navigate this terrain, one must understand the nuances of language and the subtleties of context.

I’ve picked up on 8 well-intentioned phrases our Boomer friends often say, which unfortunately come across as tone-deaf to us younger folks. And I must say, understanding these has made all my intergenerational interactions a whole lot smoother.

1) “Just get a job and work hard”

Work ethic is as traditional as apple pie.

It’s something that’s been ingrained in us from a young age, especially by the older generations. The mantra, they insist, is simple: “Just get a job and work hard, and you’ll be successful.”

At face value, it sounds like sound advice. After all, isn’t hard work the cornerstone of success?

But here’s where the disconnect happens.

For younger generations, the job market isn’t as straightforward as it used to be. In today’s world, getting a job isn’t just about walking into a business with a resume in hand. It’s a complex process involving online applications, networking, and often, multiple rounds of interviews.

Moreover, the notion of working hard doesn’t always equate to financial success anymore. With rising living costs and stagnant wages, young people are finding that hard work doesn’t necessarily guarantee a comfortable life.

2) “Why don’t you just buy a house?”

Ah, the age-old question of homeownership.

It’s a topic that comes up every time I visit my grandparents. Over cups of tea, they’d often reminisce about how they bought their first home in their twenties, and then ask me, “Why don’t you just buy a house?”

In their minds, buying a house is the next logical step in adulting. It represents stability and success, something to strive for and be proud of.

But here’s my reality.

I’m in my late twenties, working a full-time job that I love but doesn’t pay much. I’ve been diligently saving, but even the cheapest homes in my city are far beyond what I can afford.

When I try to explain this, it often falls on deaf ears. They’d tell me about how they worked multiple jobs or saved every penny to buy their homes.

But what they don’t realize is that even with all the hustle and penny-pinching in the world, the prices of homes today are drastically different from what they were back in their day.

3) “You’re always on your phone”

Mobile technology has revolutionized the way we communicate, learn, work, and even relax. It’s become an integral part of our lives, and for good reason.

Boomers often remark, “You’re always on your phone”. It’s said with a tone of disapproval, a lighthearted jab at our seeming addiction to screens.

A 2019 study revealed that 96% of Americans own a cellphone, with 81% owning a smartphone. What’s more, the average smartphone user checks their device 63 times a day.

We’re not just mindlessly scrolling through social media or playing games. We’re checking emails, catching up on news, learning new skills, networking professionally, managing finances, and keeping in touch with loved ones across the globe.

So when Boomers say “You’re always on your phone”, it could feel dismissive of the vital roles these devices play in our lives. It’s not an addiction – it’s just the way our world operates now.

4) “Back in my day…”

Every conversation with a Boomer seems to have a “Back in my day…” moment. It’s their way of imparting wisdom, sharing experiences, and drawing comparisons.

While it’s always interesting to hear about the experiences of previous generations, this phrase can sometimes come across as dismissive to younger people.

Why?

Because the world has changed significantly since their day. The challenges we face are different, the opportunities are different, and even the societal norms are different.

When Boomers say “Back in my day…”, it can feel like they’re simplifying our struggles and not acknowledging the unique hurdles of living in today’s fast-paced, technology-driven world.

It’s not that we don’t value their experiences – it’s just that comparing them with ours might not always be apples to apples.

5) “Just pick a career and stick with it”

Stability is a virtue, or so I was always told.

From my parents to my teachers, they all echoed the same advice: “Pick a career and stick with it.” They saw it as the tried-and-true path to success and security.

In my journey, I’ve discovered that my interests and passions aren’t static. They evolve with time, experiences, and new learnings. Today, I might be passionate about writing; tomorrow, I might find joy in teaching.

Moreover, the modern job market is far more dynamic and flexible than it was in their time. It’s not uncommon to change careers multiple times throughout one’s life.

So when Boomers say this phrase, it feels like they’re advocating for a linear path that might not suit everyone. It’s not that we’re indecisive or commitment-phobic – it’s just that we’re open to exploring new paths and opportunities.

6) “Why do you need therapy? Just toughen up”

Mental health is a topic that’s often misunderstood by the older generation.

When Boomers say, “Why do you need therapy? Just toughen up”, they’re trying to instill resilience. In their era, emotional struggles were often brushed under the rug, and people were expected to deal with their problems independently.

Acknowledging the need for therapy is not a sign of weakness, but rather an act of courage. It requires immense strength to admit that you need help and to take steps towards seeking it.

In today’s world, we understand the importance of mental health and the value of professional help in navigating emotional challenges.

This phrase can feel dismissive of the real struggles people face. It’s not that we’re weak – it’s just that we’re choosing to approach our mental health proactively and openly.

7) “You youngsters have it so easy these days”

It’s a common sentiment among Boomers that younger generations have it easier. They often say, “You youngsters have it so easy these days”, alluding to the advancements in technology and societal progress.

While it’s true that we enjoy many conveniences that previous generations did not, this statement can sometimes overlook the unique challenges we face today.

From climate change to the competitive job market, from the housing crisis to increasing mental health issues – these are all complex problems that younger generations are grappling with.

So when Boomers say “You youngsters have it so easy these days”, it can feel like they’re downplaying our struggles. It’s not that we’re ungrateful for the progress – it’s just that our challenges are different, not necessarily easier.

8) “You’ll understand when you’re older”

This is a phrase we often hear from Boomers, usually when we’re grappling with a problem or facing a tough decision.

“You’ll understand when you’re older”, they say, as if age automatically brings clarity and wisdom.

While it’s true that life experience can change our perspectives, this phrase can sometimes feel dismissive. It implies that our feelings or struggles are just a phase, something we’ll grow out of.

But the fact is, our experiences are valid, regardless of our age. We may not have all the answers now, but we’re learning and growing every day. And that’s something worth acknowledging and respecting.

Closing thoughts

These well-intentioned phrases may come from a place of care and wisdom, but as we’ve seen, they can often miss the mark in today’s context. This isn’t about pointing fingers or assigning blame. Instead, it’s about fostering understanding and empathy across generations.

It’s important to remember that every generation has its unique challenges and strengths. The world is evolving rapidly, and each of us is doing our best to navigate these changes.

The next time you hear one of these phrases, remember that it’s a well-intentioned piece of advice from a different era. You may not agree with it, but it can still serve as a springboard for dialogue and understanding.

Because at the end of the day, we’re all in this together – learning, growing, and adapting to our ever-changing world.