If you’ve ever dealt with a self-absorbed man, you know how draining it can be. Their constant need for attention and validation can leave you feeling overwhelmed and unheard.

Dealing with such personalities often feels like walking on eggshells. One moment, they’re the center of their own universe, the next they’re demanding you orbit around them too.

Being self-absorbed is not necessarily a formal mental health diagnosis, but more of a behavioral trait. Nonetheless, it can be challenging to navigate a relationship with someone who exhibits these tendencies.

But don’t worry, there are strategies for handling these situations. Psychology offers some insight into how to shut down a self-absorbed man without even saying a word.

Stick around if you’re curious to learn more about these seven techniques.

1) Use body language to your advantage

Body language is a powerful tool, often saying more than words ever could. When dealing with a self-absorbed man, your non-verbal cues can speak volumes.

For example, if he starts dominating a conversation, you don’t have to verbally interrupt him. Instead, use your body language. Look away or physically turn your body away from him. This sends a clear message that you’re not interested in his monologue.

Similarly, if he’s seeking constant validation or attention, don’t give it to him. Avoid eye contact or keep your facial expressions neutral. This subtly communicates that his attention-seeking behavior isn’t getting the response he desires.

Remember, this isn’t about being rude or dismissive; it’s about maintaining your boundaries and asserting your presence. 

But be prepared: self-absorbed individuals may not react positively when they feel their spotlight fading. Stick to your guns and remember, it’s not your job to cater to their ego. You’re taking care of yourself first and foremost.

2) Show genuine interest in their world

It may seem strange, but showing genuine interest in a self-absorbed man’s life can be an effective strategy. This doesn’t mean feeding into their ego, but rather understanding their interests and motivations.

Most self-absorbed individuals are used to superficial flattery and attention. When you show genuine interest and ask meaningful questions about their life, they may begin to understand that a conversation involves exchange and reciprocity.

For example, if he’s talking about his job, ask him about the challenges he faces or what he enjoys most about his work. This allows him to talk about himself while simultaneously prompting him to consider aspects of his life that he might not usually think about.

The key here is balance. Yes, let him have his moment of ‘me time’. But also gently guide the conversation towards more meaningful and balanced exchanges. 

3) Practice active listening

Active listening is a communication technique where you fully engage and respond to the speaker, showing them that they’re being heard and understood. It involves more than just hearing what is being said – it’s about understanding the complete message being sent.

When dealing with a self-absorbed man, active listening can be a game-changer. By reflecting back what he says and asking follow-up questions, you’re subtly guiding him towards more reciprocal, balanced conversations.

Interestingly, when people feel genuinely heard and understood, they’re more likely to return the favor and listen attentively in return. This can help in breaking the cycle of self-centered monologues and encourage healthier dialogue.

Remember, this doesn’t mean you have to agree with everything he says or does. It simply means you’re creating space for open communication – a space where both voices are heard and respected.

4) Acknowledge their feelings

Everyone has a deep-seated need to be acknowledged and understood, including self-absorbed individuals. By acknowledging their feelings, you’re showing them that their emotions are valid and that they matter.

This doesn’t mean you’re endorsing their self-centered behavior. It simply means that you’re recognizing their feelings as real and valid, even if you don’t agree with their perspective.

For instance, if he’s upset because he feels ignored, you could say, “I understand you’re feeling left out. It’s not pleasant to feel that way.” This simple acknowledgment can help diffuse any potential conflict and opens up a space for dialogue.

Acknowledgment isn’t about agreeing with them or giving in to their demands. It’s about showing them empathy and compassion, which can often lead to more open and balanced communication.

5) Establish your boundaries

We all have certain limits and expectations in our relationships. Whether it’s about how much time we spend together, the way we talk to each other, or how we handle disagreements, these boundaries help us maintain our individuality and self-respect.

When you’re dealing with a self-absorbed man, establishing and maintaining your boundaries is crucial. Maybe you’re uncomfortable with the way he monopolizes conversations, or perhaps you feel drained by his constant need for attention.

Whatever the case may be, it’s important to identify these issues and set clear boundaries.

This could mean limiting the amount of time you spend together, or kindly but firmly interrupting him when he starts to dominate a conversation. Setting these boundaries helps ensure that your needs and feelings are respected too.

6) Take time for self-care

In my own experience, dealing with a self-absorbed individual can be emotionally draining. Their constant need for attention and validation can leave you feeling depleted. That’s why taking time for self-care is so vital.

I remember a time when I was in a relationship with a highly self-absorbed individual. I would often find myself emotionally exhausted after our interactions, feeling like I was constantly walking on eggshells. It was then that I realized the importance of taking time to recharge and rejuvenate.

Whether it’s reading a book, going for a walk, practicing yoga, or simply spending time alone, these moments of self-care can be incredibly healing. They provide the emotional strength and resilience needed to navigate such challenging relationships.

Make sure to carve out some ‘me’ time in your schedule. Because at the end of the day, you can’t pour from an empty cup. You need to take care of your own mental and emotional well-being first.

7) Don’t make excuses for their behavior

It’s easy to fall into the trap of making excuses for a self-absorbed man’s behavior. You might think, “He had a tough day, that’s why he’s acting this way,” or “It’s just how he is.”

But let’s be clear: there’s no excuse for consistent self-centered behavior that disregards others’ feelings and needs.

Understanding the reasons behind someone’s behavior is one thing, but using those reasons to justify disrespectful or unkind actions is another. By making excuses, you’re indirectly condoning their behavior and allowing it to continue.

The next time he starts dominating a conversation or demanding all the attention, don’t just brush it off as ‘one of those things’. Stand your ground, uphold your boundaries, and don’t accept disrespectful behavior as the norm.

You deserve to be treated with respect and kindness, always.

Final thoughts

Navigating a relationship with a self-absorbed man can be challenging, but remember, the power lies within you. This article has equipped you with eight strategies to handle such situations, but ultimately, the choice on how to proceed is yours.

The time and energy you invest in your relationships should be reciprocated. No one deserves to feel unheard or overshadowed.

Being truly strong means knowing when to speak up, but also when silence can speak volumes. It’s about not letting anyone dictate your worth or your boundaries.

Here’s to healthier, more balanced relationships! Here’s to standing your ground without saying a word. And most importantly, here’s to recognizing and celebrating your own worth, every single day.