Teenagers can be a tough crowd, especially when it comes to trust.

The difference between a trusting relationship and a tumultuous one often boils down to how we behave as parents.

Parenting teenagers isn’t about controlling their every move, it’s about guiding them towards making the best decisions for themselves.

Experts say there are certain behaviors that can boost your teen’s trust in you.

Here’s a sneak peek into those vital parenting behaviors that can make all the difference in your relationship with your teenager.

1) Open communication

Trust is the bedrock of any relationship, especially between parents and teenagers.

One of the most effective ways to build this trust is through open communication.

When we say open communication, we mean a two-way street. It’s not just about telling your teenagers what you think, but also listening to what they have to say.

It’s about creating a safe space where they can express their thoughts and feelings without fear of judgement or punishment.

Many parents might find this challenging, especially when the topics are uncomfortable.

But remember, if they’re not talking to you about these things, they’re likely talking to someone else.

By encouraging open communication, you’re showing your teenager that you respect their opinions and value their input.

This can go a long way in building trust.

Remember, it’s crucial to be sincere and genuine in your conversations.

Artificial or forced communication can be easily spotted by teenagers and could lead to further mistrust.

So next time your teenager is ready to talk, make sure you’re ready to listen.

2) Respect their privacy

As a parent, it can be incredibly tempting to know every little detail of your teenager’s life. I’ve been there myself.

I remember when my daughter first started high school.

I was anxious about her new environment, the new friends she would make and the decisions she would have to navigate on her own.

In my worry, I found myself asking her a lot of questions, checking her phone, and even snooping on her social media accounts.

It wasn’t until she confronted me about it that I realized how invasive I was being.

She felt like I didn’t trust her and that I was invading her personal space.

That wasn’t my intention, but I understood how she felt.

From that day forward, I made a conscious effort to respect her privacy.

I stopped checking her phone and asking prying questions. Instead, I assured her that I was there if she ever needed to talk or seek advice.

This shift in behavior didn’t just ease the tension between us, it also built a level of trust that wasn’t there before.

Respecting your teenager’s privacy shows them that you trust their judgement.

It reassures them that you see them as independent individuals capable of making their own decisions.

Yes, it’s tough to let go and trust your teenager, especially when all you want is to protect them.

Building trust often requires us to step back and allow them to grow independently.

3) Show empathy

The teenage years can be a rollercoaster of emotions, thanks to a surge of hormones and a brain that’s still developing.

In fact, research shows that the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for decision-making and impulse control, doesn’t fully mature until the mid-20s.

This can explain why teenagers often act impulsively or struggle with emotional regulation.

Understanding this can help us as parents to approach our teenagers with more empathy.

When your teenager is upset or acting out, rather than reacting negatively, try to understand where they’re coming from.

Show them that you understand their feelings and validate their emotions.

This might mean saying something like, “I can see that you’re really upset about this,” or “It sounds like you had a really tough day.”

Empathy not only helps your teenager feel understood and supported, but it also models healthy emotional regulation and communication skills.

Your teenager is navigating a world of firsts – first heartbreak, first failure, first major decision.

A little bit of empathy can go a long way in building trust and strengthening your relationship.

4) Be consistent

Consistency is key in any relationship, and it’s no different with your teenager.

Being consistent means following through on your promises, sticking to the rules you’ve set, and maintaining the same values in your actions and words.

If you say you’re going to do something, do it. If there are rules in place, apply them fairly and consistently.

Your teenager is watching and learning from your actions more than your words.

Consistency builds trust because it creates a sense of reliability and predictability.

Your teenager knows what to expect from you and this can give them a sense of security in an otherwise uncertain world.

Trust isn’t built overnight. It’s a result of consistent behavior over time.

Keep showing up for your teenager, keep your promises, and stay true to your word. This consistency will help build a strong foundation of trust.

5) Love unconditionally

This may seem like a given, but sometimes it’s easier said than done.

Teenagers are bound to make mistakes, test boundaries, and even push you away at times.

It’s all part of them growing up and finding their own identity.

But no matter what they do, it’s crucial to remind them that your love is unwavering.

Let them know that even when you’re disappointed or upset with their actions, your love for them remains constant.

They need to feel that safety net – to know that despite their mistakes and failures, they are loved unconditionally.

This unconditional love doesn’t mean you condone their missteps or wrong choices.

It simply means that you separate their actions from who they are as a person.

Your teenager is more likely to trust you if they know that your love for them isn’t dependent on their achievements or behavior.

Don’t forget to tell them often and show them through your actions, that your love is constant, unwavering, and unconditional.

6) Admit your mistakes

Nobody’s perfect, and that includes us parents.

I remember a time when I had wrongly accused my son of not finishing his chores, only to realize later that I had mistaken his chores for his sister’s.

I could have brushed it off or blamed it on my forgetfulness.

But instead, I chose to apologize to my son for my mistake.

Apologizing wasn’t easy; it never is. But admitting my mistake showed my son that I was human, capable of errors just like him.

It also showed him that I respected him enough to admit when I was wrong.

Admitting your mistakes and apologizing when you’re wrong can be one of the most powerful ways to build trust with your teenager.

It shows them that you’re not above the rules, that you’re accountable for your actions, and that it’s okay to make mistakes as long as we learn from them.

We’re not just parents, we’re role models. Let’s model humility, responsibility, and integrity by owning up to our mistakes when they happen.

7) Give them responsibility

Trusting your teenager goes both ways. To gain their trust, you need to show them that you trust them too.

One effective way to do this is by giving them responsibilities.

This could be anything from simple household chores to more significant tasks like looking after a younger sibling.

When you entrust them with responsibilities, you show them that you believe in their abilities and judgement.

This can boost their confidence and self-esteem, and also improve your trust in each other.

It’s important, however, to ensure that the responsibilities are age-appropriate and not overwhelming.

The goal is to help them grow and learn, not to overload them.

Trust is built on mutual respect.

By giving your teenager responsibilities, you’re respecting their capacity to handle things on their own and showing them that they can trust you to treat them as capable individuals.

8) Be there for them

Above all else, be there for your teenager.

Be there for the big moments – the school plays, the sports matches, the graduation ceremonies.

But also be there for the small moments – the late-night study sessions, the heart-to-heart talks, the quiet drives home.

Your teenager needs to know that they can count on you, in good times and in bad.

They need to know that no matter what life throws at them, you’re in their corner.

Your presence, your support, and your unwavering belief in them can make a world of difference in their lives.

So show up. Be present. Be involved.

Because at the end of the day, being there for your teenager is the most powerful way to build trust and strengthen your bond.

Reflection: It’s all about connection

At the heart of parenting lies one fundamental truth: our children need connection more than anything else.

This connection is not just about being physically present, but also emotionally available, receptive, and responsive to their needs.

Building trust with your teenager is less about strategies and techniques, and more about creating a strong, loving, and secure connection with them.

It’s about understanding their perspective, validating their feelings, and respecting their growing independence.

A study by the University of Virginia found that teenagers who felt connected to their parents were less likely to experience emotional distress or engage in risky behaviors.

They were also more likely to have better social skills and higher self-esteem.

As you navigate the often turbulent waters of parenting a teenager, your ultimate goal is to keep that connection strong.

The trust you build today lays the foundation for a strong, healthy relationship in the future.

Keep communicating, keep showing up, keep loving unconditionally.

Because your teenager doesn’t just need a parent – they need a trusted ally, confidant, and friend.