8 tiny habits of emotionally intelligent people who never seem to lose their cool

Farley Ledgerwood by Farley Ledgerwood | March 13, 2025, 3:34 pm

If someone yells, they’re stressed. If someone withdraws, they’re hurt.

Sounds simple, right? But when it comes to managing emotions, humans are as intricate as a puzzle.

But there are those who seem to navigate this puzzle with ease. These emotionally intelligent folks never lose their cool, and they all seem to share these 8 tiny habits.

Peek into the world of emotional intelligence with me. Let’s unlock the secrets of these cool and composed individuals together.

1) They embrace the chaos

Emotions are like waves, unpredictable and powerful.

For some, they can feel like a hurricane, tearing through their peace of mind with no mercy. But for the emotionally intelligent, it’s a different story.

They don’t shy away from these waves, they surf them.

They understand that emotions, no matter how intense, are a part of the human experience. And instead of fighting them off, they accept them, let them wash over them and then calmly let them drift away.

This acceptance is their secret weapon. It allows them to stay cool even when the emotional sea gets stormy.

So if you’re looking to keep your cool, start by embracing the chaos. Because in the world of emotions, acceptance is your surfboard.

2) They practice mindfulness

We’ve all been there. That moment when your mind is running a thousand miles per hour, juggling a dozen thoughts at once. It’s like a whirlwind that leaves you feeling drained and out of control.

I remember a time when I was juggling a high-pressure job, family responsibilities, and personal commitments. I’ll admit, there were moments when I felt like I was spiraling out of control.

That’s when I discovered the power of mindfulness.

Mindfulness is about being present in the moment, focusing on the here and now rather than getting lost in the past or worrying about the future.

I started with just five minutes a day. Just five minutes to sit quietly and focus on my breathing. It wasn’t easy at first, but over time, I noticed a change. That whirlwind in my mind started to slow down. I felt more in control, more at peace.

People with high emotional intelligence often practice mindfulness. It helps them stay grounded and keeps their cool even in the face of chaos.

So, if you’re struggling with emotional whirlwinds, give mindfulness a try. Trust me, it’s a game-changer.

3) They don’t make assumptions

Humans have a natural tendency to jump to conclusions. It’s a remnant from our early ancestors who had to make split-second decisions to survive. But this habit can cause us to misinterpret situations and react impulsively.

Emotionally intelligent people, however, have a knack for resisting this impulse. They understand that assumptions can cloud judgement and stir up unnecessary emotions.

Instead, they seek clarity. They ask questions, gather facts, and ensure they have a clear understanding before reacting. This approach not only helps them avoid misunderstandings but also keeps their emotional balance in check.

So next time you’re about to jump to a conclusion, take a step back. Seek clarity first. You might be surprised at how much calmer you feel when you know the facts.

4) They have a go-to relaxation technique

Life is full of stressors. From big decisions to minor inconveniences, these stressors can easily push us off balance. But emotionally intelligent people have a secret weapon – a go-to relaxation technique.

Whether it’s deep breathing, yoga, meditation, or simply taking a walk in nature, they have a technique that helps them to relax and regain their cool.

This technique is like a reset button. It helps them to step back from the chaos, clear their mind, and approach the situation with renewed calmness and clarity.

So if you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, find your go-to relaxation technique. It could be the key to maintaining your cool in the face of life’s many stressors.

5) They prioritize self-care

I can’t stress this enough – self-care is not a luxury, it’s a necessity. To navigate life’s emotional rollercoaster, you need to take care of yourself first.

In my own life, I’ve realized that when I neglect self-care, everything else suffers. My energy levels dip, my focus wavers, and my cool? Well, let’s just say it becomes harder to maintain.

But when I prioritize self-care, whether that’s getting enough sleep, eating healthy, exercising regularly or even just taking a few moments each day to do something I enjoy, I find myself better equipped to handle emotional upheavals.

Emotionally intelligent people understand the importance of self-care. They know that to take care of others and their responsibilities, they first need to take care of themselves.

So remember, self-care isn’t selfish. It’s essential for keeping your cool amidst the chaos.

6) They aren’t afraid of negative emotions

Negative emotions get a bad rap. We often see them as something to avoid or suppress. But the truth is, they’re just as much a part of the emotional spectrum as positive ones.

Emotionally intelligent people understand this. They know that negative emotions aren’t the enemy. In fact, they can be valuable tools for growth and understanding.

Fear can guide us towards caution, sadness can deepen our empathy, and anger can highlight areas where change is needed.

By acknowledging and understanding these emotions, instead of running from them, emotionally intelligent folks are able to maintain their cool, even when things get tough.

So the next time you experience a negative emotion, don’t push it away. Embrace it, learn from it, and use it as a tool to navigate through life’s challenges.

7) They set boundaries

It’s easy to get swept away in a sea of responsibilities, demands, and commitments. But emotionally intelligent people know the importance of setting boundaries.

They understand that saying “yes” to everything can lead to stress and burnout. So they’re not afraid to say “no” when they need to. They prioritize their time and energy, focusing on what truly matters to them.

These boundaries aren’t just about protecting their time. They’re also about protecting their emotional wellbeing.

By setting clear boundaries, they’re able to maintain their cool amidst the chaos of everyday life.

Remember, it’s okay to say “no”. It’s okay to set boundaries. It’s not just good time management, it’s good emotional management too.

8) They practice gratitude

In the face of adversity, it’s easy to focus on the negatives. But emotionally intelligent people choose a different path. They choose gratitude.

Gratitude shifts the focus from what’s going wrong to what’s going right. It’s a powerful tool that can instantly lift your mood and help you regain your cool.

By appreciating the good in their life, emotionally intelligent folks are able to cultivate a positive mindset, even when things don’t go according to plan.

So if you’re looking for a simple yet powerful way to keep your cool, start by practicing gratitude. It might just be the game-changer you’re looking for.

Embracing the power of emotional intelligence

If you’ve journeyed with me this far, you’ll have realized that emotionally intelligent people aren’t just born, they’re made.

They are those who choose to navigate the intricate landscape of emotions with acceptance, mindfulness, and a healthy dose of self-care.

Being emotionally intelligent isn’t about suppressing your feelings or putting on a brave face. It’s about understanding your emotions, managing them effectively, and using them as tools to connect with others and navigate life’s challenges.

American psychologist Daniel Goleman once said, “Emotional intelligence is not the opposite of intelligence, it is not the triumph of heart over head — it is the unique intersection of both.”

So as you reflect on these habits, remember that emotional intelligence is a journey, not a destination. It doesn’t require perfection, but it does require practice.

With every deep breath you take, every boundary you set, and every moment of gratitude you experience, you’re not just becoming more emotionally intelligent. You’re becoming a beacon of calm in a world that desperately needs it.