7 tiny gestures that reveal a person’s true colors

Avatar by Justin Brown | January 13, 2025, 3:51 pm

It’s often the smallest actions that tell us the most about someone’s character.

These subtle gestures, easily missed in the hustle of everyday life, can reveal a person’s true colors more accurately than grand declarations or impressive achievements.

In the dance of human interaction, it’s not always about the grand leaps but the delicate steps. The way we treat others, especially when we think no one is watching, can speak volumes about our genuine self.

Here are seven tiny gestures that can shed light on a person’s authenticity and integrity. Each one is a brushstroke in the portrait of their character, offering insights that can guide your interactions and expectations.

1) How they treat service staff

One of the most revealing gestures in a person’s character is how they treat service staff. Whether it’s a waiter at a restaurant, a janitor at the office, or a cashier at the supermarket, these interactions can provide valuable insights into someone’s true colors.

In these seemingly inconsequential moments, we often see people’s natural tendencies towards empathy, respect, and patience (or lack thereof).

It’s easy to be polite and considerate when you’re dealing with supervisors or peers. But how we treat those who are in positions of service, who have less power or status in a given situation, can tell us much more about our fundamental attitudes and values.

A person who treats service staff with kindness and respect demonstrates an understanding of their shared humanity and dignity.

On the other hand, someone who is dismissive or rude may be revealing a sense of entitlement or a lack of empathy. These tiny gestures can serve as clear indicators of a person’s integrity and character.

2) Their behavior when they’re running late

We’ve all been there – stuck in traffic, delayed by an unexpected situation, racing against the clock. It’s during these stressful moments that a person’s true colors can shine through.

Pay attention to how someone handles themselves when they’re running late. Do they communicate effectively and apologize for the inconvenience? Or do they brush it off and show little regard for other people’s time?

In my own experiences, I’ve noticed that those who handle these situations with grace and accountability often carry these qualities into other areas of their lives. They show respect for others, take responsibility for their actions, and strive to make things right.

As the great philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre once said, “We are our choices.”

Every decision we make, even in the tiniest of moments, is a reflection of who we truly are.

3) Their reaction to criticism

Nobody enjoys being criticized, but the way we handle it can reveal a lot about our character.

Watch how someone reacts when they’re given constructive feedback. Do they become defensive, or do they listen with an open mind? Are they quick to shift blame, or do they take responsibility for their actions?

In my experience, those who accept criticism with grace and humility often show a strong commitment to personal growth and self-improvement. They see feedback not as an attack, but as an opportunity to learn and improve.

For more on this topic, I invite you to watch my video “Why it’s important to embrace feeling like an imposter”. In it, I discuss how feeling like an ‘imposter’ can actually be a sign of deep self-awareness and can serve as a catalyst for authentic growth and empowerment.

YouTube video

4) Their attitude towards money

Money is often a taboo topic, yet it’s an integral part of our lives and can reveal significant insights about a person’s character. How someone handles their finances, from spending habits to their attitude towards wealth, can offer a glimpse into their value system.

Do they view money as a tool for positive change or merely as a means for personal gain? Are they generous or stingy? Do they make financial decisions aligned with their values, or do they prioritize accumulation above all else?

The way someone treats money often mirrors how they treat people. Those who see money as a tool for positive change are likely to be considerate and respectful in their relationships, valuing mutual growth over personal advantage.

But if someone prioritizes accumulation over ethical considerations, it may indicate a lack of empathy or understanding of the broader implications of their actions.

Remember, prosperity isn’t just about accumulating wealth—it’s about aligning our financial decisions with our deepest values and using money as a tool for positive change. This belief is reflected in how we treat others and the decisions we make every day.

5) Their approach to failure

The way someone handles failure can tell you a lot about their resilience, their mindset, and their commitment to personal growth. Do they see failure as a dead end, or do they view it as a stepping stone towards success?

When faced with setbacks, some people fall into despair or denial, while others dust themselves off and try again. Those who embrace failure as an opportunity for learning and growth often demonstrate a level of resilience and adaptability that’s central to personal and professional success.

Consider how someone talks about their past failures. Do they express regret or resentment, or do they speak about lessons learned and how they’ve grown from the experience?

In my video about “Why chasing happiness makes you miserable”, I share why embracing life’s challenges and setbacks is the key to true contentment. It’s not about pursuing happiness but fostering meaningful relationships and staying true to oneself.

YouTube video

Every obstacle we encounter is an opportunity for growth. Embracing this mindset is essential for living life with authenticity and resilience.

6) How they spend their free time

Interestingly, the way a person chooses to spend their free time can reveal a lot about their character. While it might seem that our hobbies and interests are just personal preferences, they can actually provide deep insights into our values, passions, and ways of relating to the world.

Do they invest time in personal growth or creative pursuits? Are they committed to causes bigger than themselves? Do they value deep, meaningful connections with others over superficial entertainments?

Someone who spends their free time volunteering for a cause they believe in, or pursuing a creative hobby, demonstrates a sense of purpose and a commitment to personal growth and community engagement. 

However, those who spend all their free time chasing fleeting pleasures may be revealing a lack of depth or long-term vision.

The pursuit of authenticity is not just about what we do for work or how we present ourselves to others. It’s also about how we choose to spend our time when no one else is watching.

7) Their response to others’ success

One of the most telling gestures about a person’s character is how they react to the success of others. Are they genuinely happy for them, or do they exhibit signs of envy or resentment?

Those who celebrate others’ achievements demonstrate a sense of security and contentment with their own progress. They understand that someone else’s success does not diminish their own, reflecting an abundance mindset.

If someone consistently responds to others’ successes with negativity or attempts to diminish their achievements, it may indicate a scarcity mindset. They may see success as a zero-sum game, revealing insecurities and a lack of self-confidence.

Authentic relationships are built on mutual respect and admiration.

Celebrating others’ accomplishments not only strengthens our connections but also fosters a sense of community and shared joy. It’s an affirmation of our belief in the inherent dignity and worth of every individual, reflecting our commitment to fostering supportive communities and relationships.

Living authentically means that we celebrate each other’s successes as much as our own. It’s about creating a world where collaboration and compassion are the guiding principles, and shared prosperity is prioritized.

Understanding the colors of humanity

The intricate tapestry of human behavior is often hidden in the tiny, unassuming gestures we make every day. From how we treat service staff to our reaction to others’ success, these everyday actions can provide profound insights into our character.

These simple gestures go beyond surface-level observations.

They tap into our core values, beliefs, and attitudes, painting a picture of our true colors. Observing them allows us to relate better with others and understand the diverse spectrum of human behavior.

In the dance of human interaction, it’s not always about the grand leaps but the delicate steps.

To truly understand a person’s character, pay attention to these subtle cues. They are the building blocks of authenticity and often reveal more about an individual than grand gestures or impressive accomplishments.

Through this understanding, we can foster deeper connections based on mutual respect and empathy. We can cultivate supportive communities where every individual is valued for their unique contribution.

And ultimately, we can create a world where creativity, compassion, and collaboration are the guiding principles.