8 things a manipulator will do when you call them out on their behavior

Mia Zhang by Mia Zhang | January 8, 2025, 5:43 pm

When someone tries to manipulate you, it’s never a pleasant feeling. And when you call them out on it, their reactions can be downright surprising.

That’s the tricky thing about manipulators.

Truth be told, understanding a manipulator is like trying to solve a complex puzzle.

But some things remain consistent, like the 8 specific reactions you’ll likely see when you confront them about their behavior.

Let’s dive right into the world of manipulators and their telltale signs.

1) Denial

Ah, denial. It’s the first line of defense for a manipulator.

When you confront someone about their manipulative behavior, it’s common for them to flat out deny it.

It’s as if they’re an innocent bird caught in a storm, having no idea what you’re talking about.

But don’t let this fool you.

Denial is just a ruse, a clever way to make you question your judgment and undermine your confidence.

You’ve observed their behavior and have every right to question it. Don’t let their denial sway you from the facts at hand.

Interesting, isn’t it?

2) Diversion

Let me share a personal experience with you.

I once confronted a manipulator about his constant attempts to control the dynamics of our group.

Instead of addressing the issue, he immediately switched the topic to my recent mistake that had absolutely no relevance to the conversation.

This, my friends, is a classic diversion tactic.

A manipulator will try to divert the attention away from their behavior and onto something else – often your flaws or mistakes.

They do this to make you feel defensive and to escape from the accusation.

It’s important not to fall into this trap. Stay focused on the issue at hand and don’t let them derail the conversation.

3) Gaslighting

Gaslighting is a manipulative technique where the person makes you question your own reality.

Imagine being told that the sky isn’t blue when you can clearly see it is.

This technique was named after the 1944 film “Gaslight” where a husband manipulates his wife into believing she’s losing her sanity.

It’s a common tactic used by manipulators to make you second-guess your perceptions and memories.

If you find yourself feeling confused and doubting your own thoughts after confronting a manipulator, know that you might be a victim of gaslighting.

Stay strong and trust your instincts.

4) Playing the victim

When cornered, some manipulators will resort to playing the victim. They’ll turn the tables and paint themselves as the one being wronged.

Suddenly, they’re not the manipulator but the manipulated.

They’ll weave a sad tale of how they’ve been misunderstood, unjustly accused, or even bullied.

The aim is to make you feel guilty and drop your accusations, or even better, to sympathize with them.

It’s just another tactic in their manipulation manual. Stand your ground and don’t let their sob story sway you off course.

5) Anger

Ah, this reminds me of a time I called out a manipulator and they reacted with anger.

It was as if I had lit a match and thrown it into a gasoline tank.

In my experience, manipulators often respond with anger when they’re confronted. It’s their way of trying to intimidate you and regain control of the situation.

I’ve learned that it’s crucial not to let their anger scare you into backing down. It’s a defense mechanism, just another attempt to dodge accountability for their actions.

Stand strong and keep the focus on their behavior, no matter how much they try to rattle you with their fury.

6) Apologizing

This might surprise you, but manipulators can also apologize when confronted. However, there’s a catch.

Their apologies often lack sincerity and are merely a tool for them to regain control of the situation. They might say they’re sorry, but their actions seldom change.

It’s important to remember that a genuine apology comes with a change in behavior.

Without it, those words of regret are just empty promises designed to pacify you and maintain their manipulative ways.

Be wary of insincere apologies; actions speak louder than words.

7) Blaming others

If there’s one thing manipulators are good at, it’s evading responsibility.

When you confront them about their behavior, they might try to shift the blame onto others.

It could be a colleague, a friend, a family member – anyone but themselves.

They’ll argue that their actions were influenced by someone else or that they were merely reacting to someone else’s behavior.

This is nothing more than a deflection tactic designed to take the heat off them.

Don’t fall for it. Hold them accountable for their actions, regardless of who they try to pin it on.

8) Disappearing act

When all else fails, a manipulator might just disappear. They’ll avoid you, stop responding to your messages, or even block you on social media.

This is their last-ditch attempt to evade responsibility for their actions.

It’s important to remember that this doesn’t reflect on you, but on them. It’s their inability to face their own flaws and manipulative behavior.

Don’t let it make you question your decision to confront them. You did the right thing, and their disappearance is just further proof of that.

Wrapping it up

After going through this journey, I hope you can see that dealing with manipulators isn’t an easy feat.

But, understanding their tactics and reactions when confronted can provide a beacon of light in a seemingly dark situation.

Remember, standing up to manipulation isn’t just about calling someone out. It’s a testament to your self-respect and strength.

It’s about affirming your worth and not allowing anyone to undermine your perception or treat you unfairly.

The famous psychologist Carl Jung once said, “Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darknesses of other people.”

So, as we navigate the complexities of human behavior and interactions, let’s remember this wisdom.

I leave you with these reflections; may they guide you in your interactions and empower you in your relationships.

And always remember, you deserve respect and honesty in all your relationships.