7 subtle behaviors that show you’re really starting to grow as a person

Avatar by Justin Brown | January 20, 2025, 2:13 pm

Growth is a subtle process. It’s often not about grand gestures or dramatic transformations, but small shifts in behavior and perspective.

Recognizing these shifts is key to appreciating the journey, for they are proof that you’re evolving and becoming your authentic self.

These subtle behaviors aren’t always obvious, but when noticed, they serve as affirmation that you’re on the right path.

Here are seven signs to look out for that show you’re really starting to grow as a person.

1) Embracing discomfort

Growth often stems from discomfort. It’s in those moments of unease and uncertainty that we find the opportunity to expand our horizons and redefine our limits.

In the past, you might have shied away from such situations. Sticking to the known and the comfortable is a common human tendency after all. But as you start to grow as a person, you begin to see discomfort differently.

Instead of viewing it as something to avoid, you start to see it as an invitation for growth. You become more willing to step out of your comfort zone, take risks and face challenges head-on.

This subtle shift in perspective is a powerful indication of personal growth. It shows an evolving mindset that is not deterred by fear, but motivated by potential.

Remember, embracing discomfort does not mean enduring distress or harm. It’s about willingly taking on new experiences and challenges that push you to grow and learn. It’s about saying yes to growth, even when it feels a little uncomfortable.

2) Practicing self-compassion

As we journey through life, we often become our own harshest critic. We set high standards for ourselves and when we fall short, we’re quick to berate ourselves.

But as you start to grow, you begin to realize the importance of self-compassion. You understand that mistakes and failures aren’t signs of inadequacy, but stepping stones on the path to growth.

You start treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you’d extend to a dear friend. Instead of spiraling into self-criticism, you acknowledge your flaws, forgive your mistakes and encourage yourself to do better.

This shift towards self-compassion signifies a deepening maturity and wisdom. It’s an acknowledgement that you, just like everyone else, are a work in progress.

As the Buddhist monk and peace activist Thich Nhat Hanh beautifully puts it, “To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.”

3) Accepting responsibility

As you grow and mature, you begin to understand the power of taking responsibility for your life. You realize that blaming external circumstances or others for your problems doesn’t lead to solutions or growth.

Instead, you start to focus on what you can control – your own attitudes, actions, and responses. This shift from a victim mentality towards a more empowered stance is a significant sign of personal growth.

It’s about acknowledging that while you can’t control everything that happens to you, you can control how you react and respond to it. It’s about making choices that align with your values and taking steps to create the kind of life you want.

This shift towards responsibility can be transformative. It encourages self-awareness, promotes resilience, and ultimately, leads to greater freedom.

To understand this better, I invite you to watch my video on the illusion of happiness and why chasing it makes you miserable. Here, I delve into the pitfalls of externalizing our happiness and how real contentment comes from within.

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4) Valuing authenticity above conformity

Authenticity is the courage to be yourself, in a world that constantly tries to make you something else. It’s about honoring your unique values, passions, and quirks, even when they don’t align with societal norms or expectations.

As you grow, you start to value this authenticity more. You stop trying to fit into boxes that were never meant for you. Instead, you begin to embrace who you truly are and start living in alignment with your deepest truths.

This could mean pursuing a non-traditional career path that aligns with your passions, standing up for what you believe in even when it’s unpopular, or simply allowing yourself to express your feelings openly and honestly.

This shift towards authenticity is a profound sign of personal growth. It’s not an easy path, as it often involves going against the grain and risking disapproval. But it’s a path that leads to greater freedom, fulfillment, and self-respect.

As the famous existentialist philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre once said, “We only become what we are by the radical and deep-seated refusal of that which others have made of us.”

5) Embracing failure as a learning opportunity

One of the hardest yet most rewarding lessons we learn as we grow is to see failure not as a dead-end, but as a stepping stone to success.

Instead of viewing setbacks and mistakes as something to be dreaded or avoided, you start to see them as invaluable learning opportunities. Every failure brings with it a unique lesson that can help us grow and improve. It’s through these lessons that we evolve, adapt, and become better.

This shift from a fear-based perspective towards a growth-oriented one signifies deep personal growth. It shows a resilient spirit that isn’t easily discouraged and is always ready to bounce back, learn, and keep moving forward.

It’s about understanding that the road to success is often paved with failures and that each setback is simply a setup for a comeback.

For more on this, I invite you to watch my video on imposter syndrome. Here, I discuss how feeling like an ‘imposter’ can play a vital role in personal growth and development.

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6) Prioritizing rest and self-care

In a society that often equates busyness with productivity and worth, choosing to prioritize rest and self-care might seem like a radical act.

Yet, as you start to grow as a person, you begin to understand the importance of taking care of yourself. You realize that pushing yourself to the point of exhaustion isn’t a badge of honor but a recipe for burnout.

Instead of glorifying overwork, you start to value balance. You understand that rest isn’t laziness or wasted time – it’s a crucial part of maintaining your physical, mental, and emotional health.

This means setting boundaries, learning to say no, and taking time for activities that nourish you. It could be as simple as taking a walk in nature, practicing mindfulness, or spending time with loved ones.

This shift towards prioritizing self-care is a powerful sign of personal growth. It shows a deepening respect for yourself and an understanding that you can’t pour from an empty cup. It’s about realizing that taking care of your own well-being is the first step towards being able to contribute positively to the world around you.

7) Investing in relationships

As we grow and evolve, our perspective on relationships often undergoes a significant shift. We begin to value depth over breadth, quality over quantity.

You start to understand the profound importance of authentic, deep connections with others. You realize that it’s not about how many friends you have, but the quality of the friendships you cultivate.

You invest more time and energy into nurturing these relationships. You show up for your friends and family, not only in their moments of joy but also during their times of need. You learn to communicate openly and honestly, to listen with empathy, and to navigate conflicts with respect and care.

This shift towards investing in meaningful relationships is a powerful sign of personal growth. It reflects an understanding that we are social beings who thrive on genuine connections. It shows a commitment to fostering mutual support, understanding, and growth within your relationships.

This isn’t always easy. It requires vulnerability, patience, and a willingness to work through challenges. But the rewards – the joy of shared experiences, the comfort of being seen and accepted for who you are, the resilience that comes from knowing you’re not alone – are immeasurable.

As the saying goes, “No man is an island.” We need each other to thrive. And recognizing this is a sure sign that you’re growing as a person.

Seeds of transformation

The journey of personal growth is an ongoing process. It’s not a straight line, but a winding path with peaks and valleys, moments of clarity, and periods of confusion.

Recognizing these subtle behaviors in ourselves is a way of affirming that we’re on the right track. It’s not about reaching a final destination, but about embracing the journey, learning from our experiences, and continually striving to become our best selves.

Each behavior – embracing discomfort, practicing self-compassion, accepting responsibility, valuing authenticity, prioritizing self-care, investing in relationships – is a seed of transformation. When nurtured with self-awareness and intentional action, these seeds can blossom into profound personal growth.

Our journey of growth is deeply personal and unique. Yet it’s also deeply human, shared by all of us who strive to live authentically and courageously in the world. By recognizing these subtle behaviors in ourselves, we not only affirm our own growth but also connect with the universal human experience of striving, evolving, and growing.

Remember that growth happens one step at a time. Celebrate your progress, no matter how small it may seem. As Lao Tzu once said, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” So here’s to your journey, to your growth, and to the amazing person you’re becoming.