As people get older, it’s easy to slip into certain habits without even realizing it. And for some, that means falling into negative thinking patterns that shape how they see the world.

The tricky part? It often happens unconsciously. What starts as a passing frustration can turn into a mindset that affects relationships, opportunities, and overall happiness.

I’ve noticed that people who struggle with this tend to display certain behaviors—sometimes subtle, sometimes obvious—that reveal just how much negativity has crept into their daily lives.

If you recognize any of these in yourself (or others), don’t worry. Awareness is the first step toward change. Here are seven behaviors that often signal a growing pattern of negative thinking.

1) They focus on what’s wrong 

Some people seem to find a problem with everything. No matter the situation, they’ll point out what could go wrong, why something won’t work, or why it’s not worth trying.

At first, this might just seem like caution or realism. But over time, it turns into a habit of seeing the negative before anything else. And the more they do it, the harder it becomes to see opportunities, solutions, or silver linings.

This kind of thinking can be contagious, too. It affects not just their own mindset but also the people around them—whether it’s family, coworkers, or friends.

Of course, being aware of risks is important. But when negativity becomes the default response to everything, it keeps people stuck instead of moving forward.

2) They dwell on the past 

I once knew someone who always talked about how good things used to be. Every conversation somehow circled back to a time when life was better, people were kinder, or opportunities were easier to come by. At first, I didn’t think much of it.

But over time, I realized they weren’t just reminiscing—they were stuck.

The problem with constantly looking back is that it keeps you from moving forward. When you believe the best days are behind you, it’s hard to see what’s possible now. You miss out on chances for growth, new experiences, and even happiness in the present moment.

We all have moments where we reflect on the past, and that’s normal. But when someone spends more time dwelling on what was instead of what could be, it can be a sign of a deeper negative thinking pattern taking hold.

3) They get lost in their thoughts 

Have you ever been with someone who always seems distracted, lost in their own worries or regrets? Even in the middle of a conversation, their mind is somewhere else—rehashing old mistakes or stressing about things that might happen.

This is one of the clearest signs of negative thinking creeping in. Instead of experiencing life as it happens, they’re stuck in an endless loop of overthinking and what-ifs. And the more they do it, the harder it becomes to actually enjoy the present moment.

In my book, The Art of Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Living in the Moment, I talk about how mindfulness can help break this cycle. By learning to focus on now rather than getting trapped in past regrets or future anxieties, we can shift our thinking and regain control over our mindset.

Simply paying attention—to our breath, to our surroundings, to the people we’re with—can make a huge difference. Because when we’re fully present, negativity has far less space to take over.

4) They assume the worst 

There was a time when I found myself second-guessing people’s intentions a lot. If someone didn’t reply to a message right away, I assumed they were ignoring me.

If a friend canceled plans, I took it personally. Even small things—like a coworker being quiet in a meeting—felt like signs that something was wrong.

Looking back, I realize this kind of thinking was exhausting. And most of the time, I was completely wrong. People have their own lives, their own struggles, and their own reasons for doing things that have nothing to do with me.

But when negativity takes over, it’s easy to create stories in your head that aren’t based on reality.

The truth is, assuming the worst only leads to unnecessary stress and strained relationships. Learning to give people the benefit of the doubt—and not immediately jumping to negative conclusions—makes life so much lighter.

5) They try to control everything

It might seem like being in control would prevent negative thinking. After all, if you’re the one managing every detail, nothing can go wrong—right?

But in reality, the need to control everything often comes from negativity. It’s driven by fear, anxiety, and the belief that if you don’t stay on top of every little thing, something bad will happen.

The irony is that this mindset makes life more stressful, not less. Plans will change, unexpected challenges will come up, and not everything will go the way you want it to.

And when someone is trapped in this pattern of thinking, they struggle to adapt. Instead of going with the flow, they resist, get frustrated, and feel overwhelmed when things don’t go exactly as planned.

Letting go of control doesn’t mean being careless—it means understanding that not everything needs to be micromanaged. Sometimes, the best things happen when you don’t force them.

6) They downplay their successes 

Have you ever heard someone brush off their own achievements? Maybe they say they “just got lucky” or that it “wasn’t a big deal.” Even when others recognize their hard work, they find a way to minimize it.

At first, this might seem like humility, but over time, it can turn into a habit of negative self-talk.

Instead of feeling proud of what they’ve accomplished, they convince themselves it wasn’t really earned or that it wasn’t good enough. And the more they do this, the harder it becomes to feel confident or motivated to go after bigger goals.

Recognizing success—no matter how small—is important. It builds momentum and reinforces a positive mindset. Because if you’re always downplaying your wins, you’ll start believing they don’t matter at all.

7) They surround themselves with negativity 

The people we spend time with, the media we consume, and the conversations we engage in all shape the way we think.

If someone is constantly surrounded by negativity—whether it’s complaining friends, toxic workplaces, or endless bad news—it’s almost impossible not to absorb it.

Negativity thrives in environments that feed it. The more someone engages with it, the more it feels normal. And over time, it becomes second nature to expect the worst, focus on problems, and see life through a negative lens.

Breaking this pattern starts with one simple choice: being intentional about what you allow into your mind.

Bottom line: Negativity isn’t inevitable

It’s easy to assume that negative thinking is just part of getting older—that as time passes, we naturally become more cynical, more doubtful, and more stuck in our ways. But that doesn’t have to be true.

Our mindset is shaped by what we focus on, what we practice, and what we surround ourselves with.

And the good news is, just as negative thinking can creep in over time, it can also be rewired. One of the most powerful ways to do this is through mindfulness—learning how to recognize unhelpful thought patterns before they take over.

In my book, The Art of Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Living in the Moment, I explore simple but effective ways to break free from negativity and shift toward a more intentional, present-focused life. Because the truth is, awareness changes everything.

When you start noticing how negativity shows up in your daily life—whether it’s assuming the worst, clinging to control, or dwelling on the past—you give yourself the power to choose differently.

And that choice, made over and over again, can change everything.