There’s a distinct gap between the language used by boomers and younger generations.

This gap doesn’t just exist in the words we choose, but also in the phrases we habitually use. While some of these phrases are timeless, others are outdated and can cause unnecessary friction.

As a boomer, if you want to build stronger connections with younger generations, it’s crucial to update your verbal toolkit.

It’s not about changing who you are, but rather about adapting your language to be more engaging and relatable to those around you.

In this article, I’ll be sharing seven phrases that have outlived their expiration date. These are phrases that might be causing more confusion than clarity, more misunderstanding than connection.

So let’s dive in and explore these outdated phrases that need a little dusting off for the digital age.

1) “In my day…”

One of the most common phrases likely to disconnect boomers from younger generations is “In my day…”

While it’s natural to draw on past experiences for perspective, this phrase can unintentionally come across as dismissive or condescending. It can give the impression that you’re comparing eras and judging the present unfavorably.

For younger generations who are navigating their own set of unique challenges, this phrase can feel like a dismissal of their experiences and struggles.

Instead of starting conversations with “In my day…”, try using more inclusive language that acknowledges the differences between generations without passing judgment.

Phrases like “I’ve noticed that things have changed a lot since I was your age, how do you…” or “I’m curious about your perspective on…” can create a dialogue that bridges the gap rather than widening it.

Remember, it’s not about invalidating your past but about validating their present.

2) “You kids have it so easy these days”

I’ll admit, I’ve caught myself saying “You kids have it so easy these days” more times than I’d like to admit.

It’s an easy phrase to fall back on, especially when confronted with the incredible advancements and conveniences of the modern world.

One day, when my teenage niece was stressing over her online class assignments, I blurted out the phrase without thinking. Instead of empathizing with her, I ended up trivializing her struggles.

After a quick heart-to-heart, I realized she didn’t have it easy.

She was dealing with her own set of challenges – like cyberbullying, the pressures of social media, and the complexities of remote learning – things I never had to navigate in my youth.

So, instead of resorting to this outdated phrase, I’ve learned to say something like: “It seems like you’re dealing with a lot. Would you like to talk about it?”

This way, I’m opening a channel for communication rather than shutting it down with an offhand comment. It’s a small change, but it has made a big difference in our relationship.

3) “Back in the good old days”

The phrase “Back in the good old days” can be a conversation stopper with younger generations. Here’s why.

Psychologists have found a phenomenon called “rosy retrospection,” where people tend to remember past events as being more positive than they actually were.

This can lead to idealizing certain periods of time, like “the good old days.”

However, this phrase can create a generational disconnect. For younger people, the “good old days” are right now. They’re living their youth, making memories, and facing challenges that are relevant in today’s world.

Instead of reminiscing about the past, try engaging with the present. Ask about current trends, popular music, or new technologies.

Show genuine interest in their world. It can help bridge the generational gap and foster a deeper understanding between you.

4) “That’s not how we used to do it”

The phrase “That’s not how we used to do it” can be a roadblock in connecting with younger generations. While it might seem like a harmless comment on the surface, it can inadvertently suggest that the old ways are superior.

Change is a fundamental part of life and each generation has its own way of doing things.

This phrase can come across as dismissive or resistant to change, which can be off-putting to younger individuals who are often at the forefront of new ideas and innovation.

Instead, try adopting an attitude of curiosity. Phrases like “That’s a different approach, can you explain more?” or “I’m interested in understanding your process” show that you’re open and willing to learn.

This attitude of openness can go a long way in fostering mutual respect and understanding.

5) “You wouldn’t understand”

There was a time when I found myself using the phrase “You wouldn’t understand” quite often. It seemed like an easy way to avoid complex or uncomfortable conversations.

However, I soon realized that this phrase was creating a barrier between me and the younger people in my life. It implied that they lacked the maturity or life experience to grasp certain concepts, which wasn’t fair or accurate.

So, I decided to make a change. Instead of assuming they won’t understand, I started making an effort to explain things more clearly and patiently.

To my surprise, not only did they understand, but they also brought fresh perspectives that I hadn’t considered.

Dropping “You wouldn’t understand” from my vocabulary has led to more meaningful and enriching conversations – and I’ve learned a thing or two from them as well.

6) “Pull yourself up by your bootstraps”

The phrase “Pull yourself up by your bootstraps” is a classic, often used to encourage self-reliance and hard work. While the intention is good, it doesn’t always resonate with younger generations.

This phrase overlooks the fact that everyone’s starting point is different. Some people face larger systemic challenges that make pulling themselves up a more complicated process.

Rather than encouraging them to simply work harder, consider offering a more empathetic approach.

Phrases like “I see you’re facing some challenges, how can I support you?” or “It’s a tough situation, let’s figure out a solution together” can be more helpful and empowering.

It acknowledges their struggle and shows that they’re not alone in their journey.

7) “Kids these days have no respect”

The phrase “Kids these days have no respect” can create a significant divide between generations.

While it might seem like a simple observation, it can come across as a sweeping generalization that unfairly labels all young people as disrespectful.

Respect is a two-way street and often reflects the treatment one receives. Younger generations might express respect differently than boomers are used to, but it doesn’t mean they lack it.

Instead of jumping to conclusions, try to understand their perspective. Open dialogue and mutual respect are key to bridging any generational gaps.

Remember, every generation has its unique strengths and challenges – understanding this is the first step towards fostering stronger connections.

Language: The bridge across generations

The power of language lies not just in the words we use, but also in the understanding and connection they foster.

When it comes to bridging the gap between generations, language plays a crucial role.

It’s not just about updating our vocabulary or avoiding outdated phrases – it’s about fostering an attitude of openness, curiosity, and respect for all generations.

As we navigate this evolving linguistic landscape, let’s remember that every generation has its unique perspective shaped by its unique experiences. The phrases that resonate with one might not with another.

So, let’s embrace the change. Let’s trade “In my day” for “Tell me about your day”. Let’s swap “That’s not how we used to do it” for “How do you do it?”.

Remember, it’s not just about speaking. It’s about listening, understanding, and connecting. In a world where generational divides can feel vast and deep, the right words can build bridges.