8 non-obvious signs that someone close to you is deeply unhappy in life

Isabella Chase by Isabella Chase | January 19, 2025, 11:06 am

If a friend sobs, you can tell they’re hurting. If a loved one shouts, you know something’s up.

That’s the simple part of human interaction.

Yet, often it’s not that straightforward. The human psyche is a maze that hides subtle cues of deeper emotions, making it hard to spot when someone’s truly unhappy in life.

But worry not! If you learn to spot these 8 non-obvious signs, you’ll be better equipped to help those dear to you.

1) Subtle changes in behavior

Unhappiness, like a chameleon, blends into the backdrop of life.

It’s not always a tear-streaked face or a heated outburst. Often, it’s quieter, sneakier and harder to spot, especially when it comes to those close to us.

They might put on a brave face, but the signs are there if you look closely enough.

It could be small things. Maybe they’re laughing less, or their jokes have taken a darker turn. Perhaps they’re withdrawing and spending more time alone. Or it could be that they’ve stopped doing things they once loved.

Remember, subtle shifts in behavior are like whispers from their inner world – quiet, but significant if you lend an ear.

2) A sudden disinterest in hobbies

Once upon a time, I had a friend who lived and breathed football. Every weekend, without fail, he’d gather us all for a friendly match. His enthusiasm was infectious, and his passion for the sport was undeniable.

But then, gradually, he stopped showing up. At first, we thought he was just busy. But when he started declining our invites altogether, I knew something was off.

His football boots gathered dust and his once sparkling eyes lost their shine. It was one of the non-obvious signs that he was going through a tough time in life.

The sport that once brought him joy had become just another task on his to-do list.

So if you notice a loved one losing interest in activities they used to love, take note. It could be a sign of deeper unhappiness lurking beneath the surface.

3) Changes in sleeping patterns

Sleep, our nightly escape, can often be disrupted when someone is deeply unhappy. It’s not uncommon for people who are unhappy to struggle with insomnia or, on the flip side, to sleep excessively.

Our brain has a way of processing emotions when we sleep. It’s sort of like a nightly clean-up crew, sifting through the day’s experiences and filing them away.

But when someone is unhappy, this process can be disrupted, leading to restless nights or excessive sleeping.

So if your loved one is suddenly up at 3 am or spending most of their time in bed, it might be more than just a bad night’s sleep. It could be an indication of their emotional well-being.

4) Lack of self-care

When someone is deeply unhappy, their own well-being often falls to the wayside. This can manifest as a neglect of their physical appearance and health.

Perhaps they’ve stopped taking time to dress up or do their hair. Or maybe their diet consists mostly of fast food and convenience meals, neglecting the fruits, vegetables and balanced meals they once enjoyed.

Take note if you see these changes. It’s not about vanity or being health-conscious, it’s about a lack of energy or motivation to care for themselves.

It’s a silent cry for help, a sign that they’re struggling with something deeper within.

5) They’re always tired

I’ve noticed this with a few people in my life. When they’re deeply unhappy, they constantly complain about feeling tired, even after a good night’s sleep.

It’s not just physical fatigue they’re experiencing. It’s a deep-seated mental and emotional exhaustion that sleep alone can’t fix. It’s like they’re carrying a heavy weight around all the time.

I’ve learned over time that this constant fatigue is often a sign of their emotional state. It’s their body’s way of signaling that they’re drained from the battle they’re fighting within themselves.

6) They’re overly cheerful

You’d think that someone who’s unhappy would be constantly down in the dumps, right? Well, not necessarily. Sometimes, those who are deeply unhappy might put on an overly cheerful facade.

It’s like they’re wearing a mask, hiding their true feelings behind a wall of laughter and positivity. They may crack jokes all the time, laugh loudly, and always seem to be the life of the party.

But beneath this exuberant exterior, they could be fighting inner demons. So if you notice a friend suddenly cranking up their cheerfulness to an almost unnatural level, it might be worth checking in on them.

7) They’ve become overly self-critical

One of the less obvious signs of someone being unhappy is a sudden increase in self-criticism. They may start to constantly belittle their achievements, dismiss compliments, or downplay their worth.

This could be more than just modesty or a bad day at work. It could be a reflection of how they feel about themselves deep down. A feeling of unworthiness or failure that’s eating away at their happiness.

So if your loved one is suddenly being overly hard on themselves, it’s worth paying attention. They might be needing some reassurance and support to overcome the negative self-talk.

8) They’re withdrawing from social activities

If you notice a loved one withdrawing from social activities they once enjoyed, be it family gatherings, nights out with friends, or even just a simple coffee catch-up, it’s a significant sign.

They might start making excuses for not showing up, or they might just quietly fade away. But this withdrawal is often more than just needing some “me time”. It could signal a struggle with deep unhappiness.

This isolation can make things worse for them, as it cuts them off from the support and love they need. So if you notice this sign, reach out. Sometimes, a simple “I’m here for you” can make all the difference.

Closing thoughts

As you finish reading this, I hope you realize that unhappiness often wears a mask. It can hide behind smiles, laughter, and even an overly cheerful demeanor.

Understanding these subtle signs is not about playing detective or prying into someone’s life. It’s about being there for them, lending an ear when they need it, and offering a reassuring hand to hold.

At the end of the day, it’s about empathy. It’s about understanding that everyone has their own battles to fight and sometimes they might need a little help to get through it.

So if you notice these signs in someone close to you, reach out. It might be all they need to begin their journey towards happiness again. Remember, your kindness could be someone else’s strength.