7 habits boomers think are polite (but actually come off as rude today)

Isabella Chase by Isabella Chase | March 21, 2025, 1:38 pm

“Respect your elders,” my grandfather used to say. A sentiment that’s been passed down through generations, and for good reason.

After all, the older folks in our lives hold a wealth of experience and wisdom that can enlighten our paths. But, let’s face it; sometimes they can have habits that just don’t jive with today’s norms, right?

Here’s the scoop.

You might believe that certain behaviors, often carried out by the boomer generation, are polite. However, in today’s rapidly changing world, these once-respectful habits can actually come off as quite rude.

So, if you’ve ever scratched your head thinking “Why do boomers do that?” or if you’re a boomer yourself wondering why younger generations seem to bristle at your well-intentioned actions, then this exploration is for you.

We’re about to dive into seven habits boomers often hold dear but may inadvertently ruffle feathers in today’s society.

1) Overuse of formal language

You know the drill.

You’ve probably heard boomers insist on using Mr., Mrs., or Miss before a last name. Maybe they even write letters with “Dear Sir” or “Dear Madam.” It’s all in the name of respect, right?

Well, here’s the thing.

Formal language can often be seen as distant and impersonal in today’s world. Most people prefer to be addressed by their first names, bringing a sense of friendliness and closeness to the conversation.

While boomers might see their formal language as polite, it can sometimes create an unintended barrier. It’s all about striking a balance and understanding the context. After all, there’s a time and place for everything, isn’t there?

2) Unsolicited advice

Ah, the well-meaning advice. I’ve been there.

Once, at a family gathering, my Uncle Bob – a classic boomer – gave me unsolicited advice on my career path. He meant well, of course. But it felt like he was implying I was incapable of making my own decisions.

While boomers may think they’re helping by sharing their wisdom and experience, unsolicited advice can often be perceived as intrusive or condescending in today’s society. It’s usually more appreciated when it’s explicitly asked for.

Next time you feel the urge to share some wisdom, perhaps ask first if it’s wanted. It all comes down to understanding and respect, doesn’t it?

3) Refusing to embrace technology

I’ll never forget the day my boomer friend, Martha, pulled out her flip phone in a coffee shop. The barista, a millennial, looked at her, astounded. “Wow, retro!” she said.

But Martha didn’t see it as a fashion statement. She just didn’t see the need for all those ‘fancy’ features on modern smartphones.

Here’s where it gets tricky.

In a world that’s increasingly digital, refusing to embrace technology can be seen as stubborn or dismissive. It can create a disconnect between boomers and younger generations who live and breathe this digital age.

Sure, not everyone needs to be a tech whiz. But being open to learning about new technologies and understanding why they’re important to others can go a long way in bridging the generational gap. It’s all about connection and empathy, wouldn’t you agree?

4) Lack of environmental consciousness

It’s no secret that environmental awareness has skyrocketed in recent years. My young neighbor, a Gen Z, is a perfect example. She’s an ardent advocate for sustainable living, from using reusable shopping bags to advocating for vegetarianism.

However, boomers often struggle to see the importance of these changes.

Take my own father, for instance. He sees no harm in using plastic bags for his groceries or leaving the lights on when he leaves a room.

Lack of environmental consciousness can be seen as disrespectful or ignorant. It’s not merely about following trends; it’s about taking an active role in preserving our planet for future generations.

So next time, why not opt for that reusable bag or switch off the lights when you leave a room? Small changes can make a big difference. After all, we’re all in this together, aren’t we?

5) Resistance to new ideas

Did you know humans are naturally resistant to change? It’s called homeostasis – our desire to keep things as they are for stability’s sake.

And boomers are no exception.

Raised in a different era, they often hold steadfast to ideas and beliefs they grew up with. Like my Aunt Lucy, who still firmly believes that everyone should marry young and start a family right away.

But here’s the catch.

In our diverse, evolving society, resistance to new ideas can be seen as closed-minded or even disrespectful. Today, people are waiting longer to get married, exploring different career paths, and challenging traditional norms.

Embracing new ideas doesn’t mean discarding old ones. It means being open-minded and respectful of differing viewpoints. That’s how we grow, isn’t it?

6) Ignoring personal boundaries

Let’s talk about my dear Grandma Rose. A boomer with a heart of gold, she believes in the power of touch to convey warmth and affection. Hugs, pats on the back, a reassuring touch on the arm – it’s her way of showing she cares.

But here’s what we need to understand.

In today’s society, not everyone is comfortable with physical touch, and personal boundaries are highly valued. What Grandma Rose sees as a gesture of kindness, others might perceive as an invasion of their personal space.

It’s crucial not to assume that everyone shares the same comfort levels with physical touch. Always remember to respect personal boundaries. After all, showing respect for others’ feelings is the ultimate form of kindness, don’t you think?

7) Not valuing diversity

The world is a melting pot of cultures, races, religions, and sexual orientations. Today, diversity isn’t just accepted; it’s celebrated and cherished.

Boomers, however, grew up in a time when this wasn’t necessarily the case. They might struggle to understand or accept the concept of diversity as easily as younger generations.

Nowadays, not valuing diversity can be seen as intolerant or disrespectful. It’s crucial to embrace and respect the differences that make each person unique.

Doing so not only enriches our own lives but also contributes to a more inclusive and harmonious society.

The take-away

So, there you have it.

These seven habits, while well-intentioned, can sometimes come off as rude in today’s world. But don’t despair. Recognizing them is the first step towards understanding and bridging the generational gap.

Remember, it’s not about right or wrong, but about seeing things from different perspectives. We’re all products of our time and place, shaped by different experiences and values.

What’s important is opening the door for dialogue and learning. It’s about acknowledging that what once was seen as polite might need adjusting in light of changing societal norms.

Whether you’re a boomer trying to understand younger generations, or vice versa, let’s keep the conversation going. Let’s strive for mutual respect and understanding.

Because at the end of the day, we all want the same thing – to live in a world where everyone feels seen, heard, and respected. And that starts with us, doesn’t it?