Have you ever looked back and wished you’d done things differently?

As someone who’s now on the other side of a long and winding road—retired, with more time to reflect than I ever had in my busy years—I’ve had plenty of moments to think about what truly matters. 

Here’s the truth: life moves fast. When you’re deep in the thick of it—working, raising kids, building a life—it’s easy to put your head down and just keep going. 

Today, I’m sharing five things I’d tell my younger self—and anyone who wants to make the most of their years, now and down the road.

Let’s get into them.

1. Define success on your own terms

Remember when you were a kid, and someone asked, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” 

For most of us, the answers were pretty grand—astronaut, movie star, rock musician. Then real life set in, and we discovered that “success” often gets tied up in job titles, paychecks, and societal expectations.

But somewhere along the line, we need to ask: Whose definition of success are we using? 

So many go after the corner office or the fancy car, but maybe you’d be happiest living in a cozy cottage near the woods, writing poetry, or caring for your grandchildren each afternoon. That’s just as valid a version of success as climbing the corporate ladder—maybe even more so, depending on what truly matters to you.

By defining success on your own terms—maybe it’s strong family bonds, creative freedom, or simply the joy of giving back—you free yourself from living someone else’s life.

Take it from me: I spent years chasing promotions and pay raises, only to realize later that those achievements never filled me up the way I hoped. 

I won’t pretend to have it all figured out, but if there’s one thing I’ve come to believe, it’s that real success is about aligning your life with your deepest values, not what the world says you should value.

2. Exercise consistently

I’ll admit, there was a time in my life when exercise took a back seat to everything else: kids to feed, deadlines to meet, bills to pay. I told myself I was too busy to squeeze in a run or pop to the gym. 

But looking back, I wish I’d made my health a bigger priority. It’s harder to get started once you’re older—and yes, I feel that extra twinge in my knee from time to time.

“Exercise is the closest thing we’ve found to a magic pill for combating the effects of aging,” said Dr. Linda Fried, dean of Columbia University’s Mailman School of Public Health. And frankly, I couldn’t agree more. Even moderate physical activity—a walk in the park, a gentle yoga class—helps manage weight, improves mood, and keeps those aches and pains in check.

If you’re pushing this part of life to the back burner, trust me when I say the future you will be thankful if you start now. You don’t have to dive into high-intensity workouts or grueling marathon training, unless that appeals to you. A brisk daily walk or a gentle stretch session can do wonders. 

I’ve seen firsthand how it lifts both physical and mental well-being, and I can’t stress it enough: make movement a non-negotiable part of your routine.

3. Prioritize the important people in your life

If there’s one thing I genuinely regret, it’s letting work overshadow precious moments with the people I love most. 

I used to stay late at the office, promising myself I’d spend time with family “once things calm down.” I missed out on many family dinners, school plays, and even some birthday celebrations because I told myself work came first.

Spoiler alert: Things rarely calm down on their own. You have to take action to re-center your life around what’s truly important. When I finally retired, I realized just how many memories were lost. 

Research backs the importance of this. The famous Harvard Study of Adult Development has tracked participants for decades, and its findings consistently reveal that strong relationships are a key predictor of long-term happiness and health. It’s not about the size of your social circle—it’s about the quality of the bonds you form. 

If you find yourself consistently pushing loved ones aside, consider this a gentle wake-up call: the older you get, the more you’ll see that relationships form the backbone of a meaningful life. Schedule those phone calls, plan those family game nights, or even set up a “date night” with your partner, no matter how long you’ve been together. 

The other stuff—emails, deadlines, and promotions—will always be there. Those special moments won’t.

4. Let go of grudges as soon as possible

This is a big one. 

I’m not proud to say that I’ve wasted many late nights replaying old arguments in my head, stewing over how I was wronged, or how I wished I’d responded differently. 

However, carrying resentment is like holding a hot coal and expecting the other person to get burned—it ends up harming you more than anyone else.

A grudge drains you of energy and joy. As noted by psychotherapist Sean Grover, grudges can even “lead to physical problems such as high blood pressure and increased mental health issues.” 

The moments I’ve decided to forgive—truly forgive—have brought an enormous sense of relief, even if the person on the other end never apologized. 

If there’s somebody you need to forgive, or if you need to ask for forgiveness yourself, consider making that move. It might feel uncomfortable or even terrifying. But living with a chip on your shoulder for years on end is far worse. 

5. Make peace with your choices and keep moving forward

We all make mistakes—big ones, small ones, and everything in between. 

Some folks beat themselves up endlessly for taking the “wrong” job or letting the “right” relationship slip away. I’ve been guilty of that myself. 

But here’s the truth: no matter how much you dwell on the past, you can’t rewrite it. You can, however, shape your future.

Making peace with your choices might mean finally acknowledging you were wrong about something. It could be as simple as admitting you should’ve handled a situation differently or taken a different career path. Accepting that reality lets you look forward. 

After all, regrets can become lessons if you’re willing to learn from them.

One tactic I find helpful is keeping a small journal. Whenever I catch myself spiraling into regret, I write down what happened and then note one positive thing I learned from the experience. It might sound corny, but it’s an effective way to convert negative thoughts into constructive takeaways. There’s a certain power in seeing things on paper—it crystallizes your reflection and can help you process unresolved feelings.

The main point is not to let regret define you. Pick up the lessons and move on. 

If you made a financial blunder, figure out how to be wiser with your money. If you lost touch with old friends, reconnect or invest more in the relationships you still have. 

Parting thoughts 

If there’s a final takeaway here, it’s this: don’t wait until you’re in your 60s or beyond to act on these ideas. Start today. 

Define success on your own terms instead of copying someone else’s script. Get moving and take care of your body, because it’s the only one you’ve got. Make time for the people who matter. Drop the grudges that weigh you down. And maybe most importantly, learn from your past without letting it lock you in place.

So, how about you? What changes are you willing to make—right now—to avoid looking back in ten, twenty, or thirty years wishing you’d done things differently? 

Take it from someone who has seen how fast life can roll by: there’s no better time than today to start living in a way that leaves no room for regret.