6 subtle signs your adult child is losing respect for you (and how to get it back)

Farley Ledgerwood by Farley Ledgerwood | January 24, 2025, 5:44 pm

Worried that your relationship with your adult child isn’t what it used to be?

You’re not alone.

Parenting doesn’t end when your kids grow up, but let’s face it—adult relationships with your children come with their own set of challenges. 

I’ve been there myself, wondering if I had said or done something to make my son see me differently. The occasional tension, the dismissive tone, or the growing emotional distance can be tough to ignore.

Here’s the hard truth: respect is foundational in any relationship, and when it starts to waver, it’s a sign that something needs to change—on both sides. 

But the good news? It’s never too late to rebuild that bond and reestablish mutual respect.

Today, we’re diving into six subtle but telling signs that your adult child may be losing respect for you—and, more importantly, what you can do to turn things around.

Let’s get into it.

1) They seem to have less and less time for you

Have you found that your once talkative, attentive child now seems “too busy” to call, visit, or even reply to a simple text? 

It’s natural for adult children to have fuller schedules as they juggle work, relationships, and life in general, but if you notice a consistent pattern of avoidance or lack of effort, it might go deeper than just being busy.

This can be a subtle but significant indicator that they feel disconnected or even resentful. Over time, a loss of respect can lead to a sense of emotional distance, and it often shows up in how (or if) they prioritize spending time with you.

The key here is to reflect on the balance—are they truly overwhelmed, or could they be pulling away because they feel unheard, misunderstood, or judged? 

2) They dismiss your advice

This is one I know all too well. 

I remember when my own adult son began to dismiss my advice. We used to have deep, meaningful conversations about his career and personal life.

But then, he started to brush off my suggestions or change the subject when I offered my thoughts. It was as if he no longer valued my opinions or experiences.

This can be a subtle sign that respect is dwindling. If they no longer see value in your advice, it’s time for a heart-to-heart conversation. 

Rebuilding respect starts by understanding why they feel this way and working together to improve the relationship.

3) They no longer share important parts of their life with you

When your adult child starts keeping you at arm’s length, it’s a clear sign something is off. 

Maybe they don’t tell you about a big promotion at work, a new relationship, or a tough decision they’re facing. Instead of coming to you for advice or support like they once did, they choose to keep those details private or share them with someone else.

This kind of distance can stem from feeling judged, dismissed, or even just misunderstood. Over time, it can create a wall between you that’s hard to break down if left unaddressed.

Rebuilding trust and respect in this situation means creating a safe, nonjudgmental space for them to open up again. Focus on listening without jumping in with advice or opinions right away—it’s about showing them you’re there to understand, not to criticize. 

Small steps like these can gradually bridge the gap and restore the connection.

4) They’re increasingly critical of you

Have you noticed your adult child making more sharp or critical remarks about your choices, opinions, or even your personality? Perhaps they’ve started calling out your flaws more often than before, or they seem to have less patience for your quirks. 

While some level of honest communication is healthy, consistent criticism can indicate a deeper issue—often stemming from frustration or unresolved feelings.

When respect fades, it’s easy for someone to focus on the negatives and forget the bigger picture of who you are as a parent and person. This pattern can be hurtful and may lead to defensiveness on your part, which only widens the gap.

Instead of pushing back immediately, try to understand where the criticism is coming from. Are they frustrated about something specific? Do they feel unheard in certain areas?

Opening the door to a calm, empathetic conversation can help reset the dynamic.

5) Lack of gratitude

Gratitude is one of the simplest ways people show appreciation and respect, so when it’s missing, it can sting—especially when it comes from your adult child. 

When they rarely acknowledge the things you do for them, whether it’s helping out financially, offering advice, or simply being there when they need support, it could be a sign that they’ve started taking you for granted.

This lack of gratitude might not even be intentional. Sometimes, it’s a reflection of unresolved frustrations or a feeling of entitlement that’s crept into the relationship. But over time, it can chip away at your bond and leave you feeling unappreciated.

To address this, it’s important to set boundaries and communicate your feelings openly. Let them know that while you’ll always care for them, respect and appreciation are key to keeping your relationship strong. 

6) They no longer ask your opinion

Let’s finish on a more subtle one.

Whether it’s about their career, relationships, or even everyday dilemmas, the absence of those once-frequent “What do you think?” conversations might indicate a shift in how they view your role in their life.

Rebuilding this dynamic starts with creating a judgment-free space for dialogue. Show genuine curiosity about their lives without offering opinions unless asked.

When they do open up, focus on listening and affirming their feelings rather than jumping straight to problem-solving. By respecting their independence and avoiding overstepping, you can gradually rebuild their trust and willingness to value your insight again.

Final thoughts: It’s a journey of understanding

Rebuilding respect in any relationship—especially with your adult child—isn’t always easy, but it’s absolutely worth the effort. The signs we’ve covered are subtle but significant, and recognizing them is the first step toward making meaningful changes.

Whether it’s about listening more, setting healthy boundaries, or creating a safe space for open communication, small actions can have a big impact. Remember, relationships evolve, and with patience, empathy, and mutual understanding, you can strengthen the bond you share with your child.

Take it one conversation at a time, and trust that growth and connection are always possible.

You’ve got this.