8 things boomers consider basic manners that many Gen Z see as outdated

Eliza Hartley by Eliza Hartley | September 2, 2025, 12:20 pm

Navigating the gap between generations can often feel like trekking through a minefield, especially when it comes to our own set of manners and social norms.

I mean, how many times have you held a door open for a younger person only to be met with a blank stare instead of the expected “thank you”?

Or you’ve offered your seat to a Gen Z on the bus and they look at you as if you’ve sprouted a third eye?

This isn’t to say that all Gen Zs are impolite or that all boomers are paragons of decorum. Far from it.

But let’s face it, there’s a monumental shift happening in how we perceive and practice basic manners.

It’s almost like we’re speaking two different languages, isn’t it?

In this article, I’m going to explore those little things that we boomers consider basic manners but are often seen as outdated by many in Gen Z.

And while it might feel like we’re drifting apart, I believe understanding these differences can actually bring us closer together. After all, clarity is the first step toward bridging any gap.

We might not be able to iron out all the wrinkles in our generational divide, but at least we’ll get a clearer picture of where each side is coming from.

And who knows? Maybe we’ll learn something new about each other along the way.

So buckle up, because we’re about to take a journey into the often-confusing world of generational etiquette. Let’s roll!

1) Writing thank you notes

Alright, let’s dive right in. First up: thank you notes.

We boomers were raised to jot down a heartfelt note of thanks whenever we received a gift or a favor, right?

There’s just something personal and endearing about putting pen to paper and expressing gratitude in this way.

Well, it turns out that many in Gen Z consider this practice a tad antiquated. Sure, they show appreciation too, but it’s often through a swift text, an email, or even an emoji!

It’s not that they’re ungrateful or informal; it’s just that the medium has changed.

The digital age has transformed how we communicate, and this extends to expressions of gratitude as well.

So next time you receive a smiling face with heart-eyes instead of a handwritten note, don’t fret. It’s just the Gen Z way of saying “Thanks!”.

And hey, at least they’re saving some trees in the process!

2) Using formal titles

Let’s move on to the next one: using formal titles.

I recall a time when I was introduced to my friend’s son. I extended my hand and said, “Nice to meet you, Jake.”

The boy looked up at his dad, then back at me with wide eyes, as if I’d just told him I was from Mars.

You see, in our boomer world, addressing someone older, especially a friend of our parents, as Mr. or Mrs., was simply a sign of respect.

It showed that we acknowledged their life experience and wisdom.

But for many Gen Zs, this tradition feels stilted and overly formal. They prefer first-name-basis relationships, regardless of age differences. They see it as a way to level the playing field and promote equality.

So next time you’re introduced to a Gen Z individual, don’t be surprised if they call you by your first name.

It’s not a sign of disrespect or rudeness. In their eyes, it’s a gesture of camaraderie and equality.

3) Making phone calls

Albert Einstein once said, “I fear the day that technology will surpass our human interaction. The world will have a generation of idiots.”

Well, we may not be there yet, but technology has certainly changed how we interact.

Take phone calls, for instance. We boomers were taught to pick up the phone and dial a number when we wanted to reach out to someone.

It was direct, personal, and allowed for a deeper connection.

Fast forward to today, and Gen Zs are more likely to send a quick text or FaceTime. In fact, they might even see a phone call as an invasion of their personal space or time.

Now, I’m not saying that the Gen Z communication style is less meaningful or sincere. It’s just different. And we need to understand that different doesn’t necessarily mean wrong.

After all, isn’t variety the spice of life?

So next time you’re about to dial a Gen Z’s number, maybe consider sending them a quick message instead. They might appreciate your understanding more than you know.

4) Eating meals together

Did you know that families used to spend an average of 90 minutes eating dinner together every night? I’m not just talking about special occasions or Sunday lunches.

This was a daily ritual.

As boomers, we were raised on the belief that meal times were sacred. It was more than just nourishment for the body; it was nourishment for the soul. A time to share, connect, and bond with loved ones.

But with the rise of fast food culture and individualistic lifestyles, this tradition has slowly been eroded.

Many Gen Zs view eating as a solitary activity, something they squeeze in between their various commitments.

This isn’t a judgment call, it’s an observation. Times change, people change, and so do our habits and customs.

The next time you see a Gen Z munching on a sandwich while scrolling through their phone, don’t jump to conclusions.

They’re not being rude or disrespectful. They’re simply adapting to the fast-paced world they’ve inherited from us.

5) Dressing up for occasions

Let’s talk about appearances. Remember when going to a party or a public gathering meant dressing up?

The idea was to show respect for the host or the occasion. It wasn’t just about looking good; it was about demonstrating our social etiquette.

Fast forward to today, and you’ll find that many Gen Zs have a more relaxed approach to dressing up. You’ll often see them in comfortable hoodies and sneakers, even at events we would consider formal.

This shift in fashion isn’t an attempt to be disrespectful. In fact, it’s quite the opposite.

Gen Zs value authenticity and individual expression above all else. They don’t want to hide behind fancy attire; they want their true selves to shine through.

I say, good for them! After all, isn’t it what’s inside that counts? If they feel more comfortable and authentic in their favorite pair of jeans, who are we to judge?

So next time you see a Gen Z dressed down at an event, remember, it’s not about disrespect. It’s about being true to oneself.

6) Waiting for your turn to speak

We’re moving on to communication now. As boomers, we were taught to wait for our turn in conversations.

Interrupting someone was seen as a sign of disrespect. We believed in listening attentively when someone else was speaking, and only responding when they were done.

With the Gen Zs, it’s a bit different. They’ve grown up in a world of rapid-fire information exchange.

They’re used to having multiple conversations at once – texting, tweeting, commenting. This spills over into their face-to-face interactions as well.

They may interject or respond before you’ve finished your thought. It can feel like an interruption, but for them, it’s active participation.

They’re not trying to be disrespectful; they’re just accustomed to a faster pace of dialogue.

Of course, it’s important to remember that not all Gen Zs are like this, and not all boomers follow the “wait your turn” rule.

But generally speaking, there is a noticeable shift in conversational dynamics between the generations.

So if you find yourself getting cut off in conversation by a Gen Z, don’t take it personally. They’re just trying to engage with you in their own way.

7) RSVPing to invitations

We’re almost at the end of our list, and this one is all about the art of RSVPing. For us boomers, responding to an invitation was more than just a courtesy – it was a commitment.

If we said we’d attend an event, we’d move heaven and earth to be there. And if we couldn’t make it, we’d let the host know well in advance.

Fast forward to today, and you’ll find that many Gen Zs approach RSVPs with a more casual attitude.

They might say they’re coming and then not show up, or they might not respond at all, only to turn up at the event unannounced.

This isn’t a sign of rudeness or insensitivity. It’s just a different approach to social commitments.

Gen Zs have grown up in a world where plans can change at the last minute, where flexibility is valued over rigid scheduling.

So next time you send out an invitation and don’t get an immediate response, don’t stress. The Gen Zs aren’t ignoring you; they’re just playing it by ear.

And remember, they still value your event; they’re just managing their time in their own way.

8) Analog clocks and handwriting

We’ve come to the final point on our list, and it’s a double whammy: analog clocks and handwriting.

Remember when learning to read an analog clock was a rite of passage, and handwriting was a skill that was honed over the years? For us boomers, these were fundamental parts of our education.

But today, many Gen Zs find these skills redundant. They’ve grown up in a digital world, where time is displayed in digits and communication happens through keyboards.

The thought of writing a letter by hand or reading time from a clock with hands might seem quaint, if not downright unnecessary.

This shift isn’t about being lazy or rejecting tradition. It’s about adapting to a world where technology is omnipresent. Digital clocks and typing are faster, more efficient ways of achieving the same results.

So instead of lamenting the loss of these ‘basic manners’, let’s celebrate the adaptability of Gen Z.

After all, change is the only constant in life. And who knows? Maybe we boomers can learn a thing or two from their fluidity and flexibility.

Final thoughts

So here we are, at the end of our generational etiquette journey.

As we’ve explored these eight points of divergence between boomers and Gen Z, one thing stands out – change is inevitable.

What was once considered polite or proper may not hold the same value today. And that’s okay.

Each generation has its own set of manners, shaped by the social, cultural, and technological landscape it’s grown up in.

As boomers, we have our own beliefs. Gen Z, with their unique experiences and perspectives, have theirs.

What matters is not who’s right or wrong, but how we navigate these differences with understanding and respect.

After all, we’re all just trying to find our way in a rapidly changing world.

So the next time you feel a pang of annoyance at a Gen Z’s disregard for manners, take a moment to reflect.

Could it be that they’re not being rude, but simply practicing their own version of etiquette? Could there be wisdom in their ways that we might learn from?

Remember, the beauty of life lies in its diversity. Let’s embrace these differences and let them enrich our understanding of the world around us.

After all, isn’t that what manners are all about – making others feel valued and respected?

And who knows? You might just find yourself sending a quick text instead of a thank-you note, or embracing the comfort of sneakers at a formal event.

Because at the end of the day, change is not just inevitable, it’s exciting too. And there’s always room for growth, no matter which generation we belong to.

Embrace the shift. Enjoy the ride.