Let me be honest with you. A few years ago, I checked my phone an average of 237 times per day. I know the exact number because I downloaded one of those screen time apps during a particularly anxious week, and when I saw the report, I felt sick to my stomach.

237 times. That’s like once every six minutes during my waking hours.

I’d wake up at 6:30 AM (old corporate body clock habits die hard), and before my feet even hit the floor, I’d already be scrolling. Email, Instagram, Twitter, Slack notifications from freelance clients.

The worst part? I wasn’t even enjoying it. I was just… doing it. Like my thumb had a mind of its own.

The breaking point came when my partner Sarah asked me a question at dinner, and I genuinely couldn’t remember what she’d just said because I was staring at my phone. She didn’t get mad. She just looked disappointed, which somehow felt worse.

That’s when I knew something had to change.

1) I stopped bringing my phone into the bedroom

This was the hardest rule to implement, but also the most impactful.

For years, my phone was my alarm clock, my wind-down entertainment, and my first point of contact with the world each morning. I’d tell myself I was just checking the time or setting an alarm, but we both know that’s not what was really happening.

I bought a $15 alarm clock from Target. Yeah, one of those basic digital ones that looks like it’s from 2005. And I set up a charging station in the living room where my phone lives overnight.

The first few nights were rough. I kept reaching for my phone out of habit, only to grab empty air. But within a week, something shifted. I started actually reading before bed instead of mindlessly scrolling. I fell asleep faster. And when I woke up, instead of immediately diving into the chaos of notifications, I had about 30 minutes of quiet time to ease into my day.

Sarah noticed the difference before I did. Apparently, I’d been way more present during our morning coffee chats.

2) I turned off all non-essential notifications

Here’s a question for you: how many of your notifications actually matter?

I used to get pinged for everything. Every like, every comment, every promotional email disguised as something urgent, every app trying to pull me back in with some manufactured urgency.

So I went nuclear. I turned off notifications for everything except calls, texts from actual humans I know, and my calendar reminders. That’s it.

No social media pings. No email alerts. No app badges screaming for attention with those little red numbers.

The psychology behind this is pretty straightforward. Every notification triggers a small dopamine hit, training your brain to constantly check for the next one. It’s the same mechanism that makes slot machines so addictive. By removing these triggers, I was basically removing the slot machine from my pocket.

Did I miss anything important? Not once. Turns out, nothing on Instagram requires an immediate response. Wild, I know.

3) I started using the “20-minute rule” for social media

I didn’t want to completely eliminate social media because, let’s be real, it’s how I stay connected with friends and it’s actually useful for my writing work. But I needed boundaries.

The 20-minute rule is simple: I can’t check any social media app until 20 minutes after the urge hits.

When I first feel that itch to scroll, I note the time and do literally anything else. Usually I’ll make coffee, do some pushups, or actually focus on whatever I was supposed to be doing. Nine times out of ten, by the time 20 minutes passes, the urge is completely gone. I’ve moved on with my day.

And here’s the interesting part: when I do check after the 20 minutes, I’m way more intentional about it. I’m not just mindlessly scrolling. I’m actually engaging with content I care about, responding to messages, and then getting out.

This rule helped me realize how many of my phone checks were just… nothing. Empty calories for my brain. I wasn’t even enjoying most of what I was seeing. I was just filling time.

4) I deleted apps and made everything harder to access

This sounds extreme, but hear me out.

I deleted Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook from my phone entirely. If I want to check them, I have to use the mobile browser, which is clunky and annoying by design.

I also moved my remaining apps off the home screen. Everything lives in folders on the second or third screen. My home screen is basically empty except for the essential stuff: phone, messages, calendar, and maps.

The goal was to add friction. To make checking my phone require actual effort and intention rather than muscle memory.

Basically, I designed my environment to make good choices easier and bad choices harder. 

Does it work? Absolutely. When I pick up my phone and see a blank screen, I actually have to think about what I wanted to do. Most of the time, I realize I didn’t want to do anything. I was just being pulled by habit.

5) I replaced phone time with something else

This is the rule nobody talks about, but it’s maybe the most important one.

You can’t just remove a habit without replacing it. Your brain will fill that void with something, and if you don’t choose what that something is, you’ll just end up back where you started.

For me, I started carrying a book everywhere. When I felt the urge to check my phone while waiting in line or sitting in a coffee shop, I’d read a page or two instead. I also started journaling more intentionally, which helped me process thoughts I would have normally dumped into a Twitter thread.

I’ve mentioned this before, but I discovered journaling a few years back during a pretty rough period. It became this anchor for me, a way to actually think through stuff rather than just consume other people’s thoughts all day.

The replacement doesn’t have to be productive in the traditional sense. It just has to be intentional. Sarah started doing crossword puzzles on her phone instead of social media. My friend Marcus took up sketching. The point is to redirect the urge toward something that actually serves you.

Rounding things off

Look, I still check my phone way more than I probably should. I’m not sitting here claiming I’ve achieved some zen state of digital minimalism.

But I went from 237 checks per day to somewhere around 40-50. That’s an 80% reduction.

More importantly, the quality of those checks changed. I’m not just reflexively grabbing my phone every time there’s a lull in conversation or a moment of boredom. I’m using it as a tool when I need it, not as a security blanket.

If you’re reading this and thinking “237 times, that’s crazy,” I’d encourage you to actually check your screen time stats. You might be surprised. And if you are checking your phone constantly, try implementing just one of these rules for a week. See what happens.

The goal isn’t perfection. It’s just being a little more present in your actual life instead of whatever’s happening on a 6-inch screen.