There’s a thin line between having a high Emotional Quotient (EQ) and just being emotionally aware. The key? It’s all about what you avoid doing.

People with high EQ are masters of managing their emotions, and they’re also pretty good at understanding others’. But it’s not just what they do, it’s  what they don’t do.

There are certain behaviors these emotionally intelligent folks consciously steer clear of. And these little-known behaviors might just be the secret sauce to their high EQ.

Curious? Stick with me as I uncover the 10 little-known behaviors that people with high EQ always avoid. Trust me, you’ll want to know these.

1) Jumping to conclusions

It’s all too easy to make snap judgments about others. But people with high EQ? They don’t fall into this trap.

Emotional intelligence involves understanding and respecting other people’s feelings and perspectives. And that’s hard to do if you’re quick to make assumptions.

When faced with a situation, those with high EQ avoid rushing to conclusions. Instead, they take a step back. They consider different perspectives, they listen and observe before forming a judgement.

This ability to withhold judgement and avoid assumption is one of the keys to their emotional intelligence. It allows them to navigate relationships and situations with empathy and understanding.

2) Being too critical of themselves

In a world where we’re often judged by our achievements, it’s easy to fall into the trap of self-criticism. We set high standards for ourselves and when we fall short, we’re the first to point fingers – at ourselves.

But people with high EQ tread a different path. They understand that everyone, including themselves, makes mistakes. Instead of beating themselves up over it, they view these moments as opportunities for growth and learning.

They hold a sense of compassion towards themselves, recognizing that they’re human and bound to err. It’s not about lowering standards, but rather about understanding that perfection isn’t achievable and that’s okay.

This heartfelt acceptance of their own flaws and mistakes not only contributes to their emotional well-being but also helps them extend the same understanding and empathy towards others.

3) Neglecting self-care

I used to be the kind of person who would put everyone else’s needs before my own, sometimes to my own detriment. I thought that was what being a good friend, a good employee, a good person was all about.

But what I’ve learned is that ignoring self-care isn’t just bad for me—it can also negatively impact the people around me. When I’m burnt out or stressed, I’m not able to give my best to anyone.

People with high EQ understand this. They don’t just prioritize taking care of others, but they also make sure to take care of themselves. They recognize that their physical and mental health is crucial in maintaining their overall emotional well-being.

They take time for relaxation, engage in hobbies they enjoy, exercise regularly, and maintain a balanced diet. This self-care not only helps them stay at the top of their game but also enables them to be there for others when they need it.

4) Dismissing others’ feelings

We’ve all been there – someone shares their feelings with us and we dismiss it as ‘overreacting’ or ‘being too sensitive’.

But here’s the thing, feelings are subjective. What might seem trivial to one person could be significant to another.

High EQ individuals understand this. They never dismiss others’ feelings, no matter how trivial they might seem to them. They listen, validate and empathize. They understand that by acknowledging someone’s feelings, they’re acknowledging their experience.

Dismissing someone’s emotions not only invalidates their experience but also builds a wall of misunderstanding. It sends a message that their feelings are not important, which can damage the relationship.

So, people with high emotional intelligence avoid this behavior. They strive to understand and respect others’ emotions, just as they’d want theirs to be understood and respected. It’s a simple yet crucial behavior that fosters better communication and stronger connections.

5) Avoiding difficult conversations

People with high EQ don’t shy away from difficult conversations. Instead, they approach them with openness and respect.

They understand that avoiding a tough talk doesn’t make the problem go away. It just festers and grows, which can lead to even bigger issues down the line.

Whether it’s addressing a problem, giving constructive feedback, or tackling a sensitive issue, they face it head-on. They express their thoughts and feelings honestly, but tactfully, ensuring the other party feels heard and respected.

Avoiding difficult conversations isn’t a solution. It’s a delay tactic. And it’s one behavior that people with high EQ always avoid.

6) Holding onto grudges

Holding onto grudges is like carrying a heavy bag around with you everywhere you go. It weighs you down, drains your energy, and keeps you stuck in the past.

People with high EQ understand this. They know that forgiveness isn’t just  the other person – it’s setting themselves free too.

They choose to let go. They release the anger and resentment that comes with holding a grudge, allowing themselves to move forward with lighter hearts and clearer minds.

It’s not always easy, and it doesn’t mean forgetting what happened. But it does mean making a conscious decision not to let past hurts dictate their present.

7) Being judgmental

Having a high EQ means having empathy at its core. People with high emotional intelligence have the ability to put themselves in other people’s shoes, to feel what they’re feeling.

This profound understanding of others’ emotions naturally leads them to be less judgmental. They understand that everyone has their own battles, their own struggles, and their own stories.

Instead of passing judgments, they offer support and understanding. They create a safe space for people to be themselves, without any fear of being judged.

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Being less judgmental and more understanding can not only enrich your relationships but also contribute positively to someone else’s life.

Being non-judgmental is not just being a good friend or colleague; it’s  being a good human. And that’s what high EQ is all about.

8) Ignoring their gut instinct

We’ve all had that gut feeling – a sense that something is off, even if we can’t quite put our finger on what.

People with high EQ don’t ignore this instinct. They trust it and use it as a guide in making decisions.

Emotional intelligence involves being attuned to your own emotions, and that includes those gut feelings. They represent your subconscious mind’s way of alerting you to something.

If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. Trust your intuition. It’s one behavior that people with high EQ never avoid.

9) Acting impulsively

Many of us have encountered this situation: succumbing to impulsive actions. A surge of anger or frustration, and before one realizes, words are uttered that cannot be retracted. It’s a scenario with which I am all too familiar.

Individuals with high emotional intelligence (EQ) comprehend the significance of emotional control. They understand that giving in to impulses, especially in moments of heightened emotion, can lead to regrettable actions.

Instead, they cultivate patience and invest time in processing their feelings before formulating a response.

It’s not suppressing emotions but rather responding to them with thoughtfulness and consideration. Therefore, the next time you find yourself in an emotionally charged situation, take a deep breath and grant yourself a moment to contemplate before taking action. This practice has spared me from numerous regrets.

10) Refusing to ask for help

This is perhaps one of the most important behaviors to avoid, not just for those with high EQ, but for everyone.

There’s a common misconception that asking for help is a sign of weakness. But in reality, it’s one of the greatest strengths.

People with high EQ understand that we all have limitations. We all have moments of uncertainty and doubt. And it’s during these times that reaching out to others not only brings us the support we need but also strengthens our relationships.

Asking for help doesn’t mean you’re incapable or weak. It means you’re human. It means you understand the value of collaboration and the power of vulnerability.

Final thoughts: It’s a journey

High EQ isn’t something you achieve overnight. It’s a journey, a continuous process of learning, growing, and evolving.

Remember, it’s not just about understanding and managing your own emotions, but also about empathizing with others. It’s the respect and kindness you show to others, even when you’re in the midst of your own storm.

It’s the choices you make, the conversations you have, and the behaviors you consciously avoid. The little-known behaviors we’ve covered in this article are just a part of that journey.

As Daniel Goleman, the psychologist who brought “emotional intelligence” into the mainstream said, “In a very real sense we have two minds, one that thinks and one that feels.”

The beauty of high EQ lies in the balance between these two minds. And every step you take towards improving your EQ will bring you closer to that balance.

So, as you reflect on this journey, ask yourself: How am I nurturing my emotional intelligence? What behaviors do I need to avoid to cultivate my high EQ?