8 little habits that will make you a more emotionally intelligent person

Lucas Graham by Lucas Graham | September 5, 2024, 10:36 am

When someone yells, they’re frustrated. When they weep, they’re hurting.

Understanding these basic emotions is simple enough. But truly reading people? That’s an art, my friend.

It’s not about mind-reading, but about emotional intelligence.

And guess what? You can boost yours with just a few small habits.

Let’s dive into how these simple habits can transform you into an emotionally intelligent person.

It’s not rocket science, I promise. But it does require some effort and consistency.

So, are you ready to level up your emotional intelligence? Let’s get started, shall we?

1) Practice mindfulness

We live in a world where everything is constantly buzzing. It’s easy to get lost in the noise.

But it doesn’t have to be that way, not if you practice mindfulness.

This habit is a game-changer for emotional intelligence.

It’s all about being present, about noticing the world around you and your feelings within it.

When you’re mindful, you’re not just living on autopilot. You are aware of your emotions as they come and go.

You don’t judge them or try to push them away— you simply acknowledge them.

And the coolest part? The more you practice mindfulness, the better you get at understanding your emotions.

And once you understand your own emotions, it becomes easier to understand others.

Mindfulness isn’t just about sitting cross-legged and meditating (though that can help!).

It’s about paying attention to your emotions throughout the day.

Start small. Take a few moments each day to check in with yourself and your feelings.

You’ll be amazed at how this little habit can boost your emotional intelligence over time.

2) Active listening

One thing I’ve learned in my journey towards becoming more emotionally intelligent is the importance of active listening.

It might sound simple, but trust me, it’s a game changer.

I remember this one time when a close friend of mine was going through a tough break-up.

I could see the sadness in his eyes, hear the pain in his voice.

Instead of jumping in with advice, I decided to just listen.

I focused on his words, his body language, and the emotions behind his words.

And you know what? He later told me that our conversation was one of the most comforting things during that tough time.

He didn’t need advice; he just needed someone to validate his feelings and understand his pain.

Active listening made me realize it’s not always about having the right words to say.

Sometimes, it’s just about being there and really hearing someone out.

This habit has significantly improved my emotional intelligence and my relationships.

So, next time you’re in a conversation, try to really listen.

Don’t just wait for your turn to speak; focus on understanding the other person’s perspective. It’ll make a world of difference, I promise!

3) Embrace empathy

You know how they say, “walk a mile in someone else’s shoes”? That’s empathy in a nutshell.

It’s the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person, to really get where they’re coming from.

What makes empathy so powerful is that it’s actually wired into our brains. 

Research shows that when we see someone else experiencing an emotion, the same areas in our brain light up as if we were experiencing that emotion ourselves. It’s like our brain’s way of saying, “Hey, I get it.”

But empathy isn’t just about understanding others. It also helps us build stronger connections, resolve conflicts more effectively, and become better leaders.

Make it a habit to practice empathy.

Try to understand where people are coming from, even if you don’t agree with them. 

It’s not about condoning their actions or beliefs, but about understanding their perspective.

It’ll make you not just a more emotionally intelligent person, but a better human being all around.

4) Learn to self-regulate

Emotions can be tricky. They’re powerful, unpredictable, and sometimes, they can get the better of us.

That’s where self-regulation comes in.

It’s about being able to manage your emotions, especially in stressful situations. 

Instead of reacting impulsively, you respond thoughtfully.

You take a moment to process what you’re feeling and why, before deciding how to act.

Self-regulation doesn’t mean suppressing your emotions.

Far from it. It’s about acknowledging what you’re feeling, understanding why you’re feeling that way, and then choosing the best course of action.

One way to practice self-regulation is through the “pause” technique.

The next time you feel a strong emotion coming on, pause for a moment.

Take a deep breath.

Ask yourself: “What am I feeling? Why am I feeling this way? How should I respond?”

This simple habit can help you manage your emotions more effectively, making you a more emotionally intelligent person in the process.

5) Cultivate an optimistic outlook

I’ve always believed in the power of positivity. It sounds a bit cliché, I know, but hear me out.

I’ve come to realize that having an optimistic outlook isn’t about ignoring the negatives or living in denial.

It’s more about choosing to focus on the positives, no matter how small they may be.

By doing this, I’ve found that I’m more resilient to life’s ups and downs.

I can bounce back from setbacks more quickly because I believe that better days are just around the corner.

This isn’t to say that I don’t have my down days or moments of doubt.

We all do. But by making a conscious effort to stay positive, I’m better equipped to handle these moments.

Try cultivating an optimistic outlook in your own life.

Look for the silver lining, celebrate your small wins, and remind yourself of your strengths.

This habit can make you more emotionally intelligent and resilient in the face of adversity.

6) Embrace vulnerability

Now, this one might seem a bit surprising. Vulnerability often gets a bad rap. We see it as a weakness, something to be avoided at all costs.

But here’s the thing: vulnerability is actually a strength.

It’s about having the courage to show up and be seen, to let others see your true self, flaws and all.

When you embrace vulnerability, you show emotional honesty.

You allow others to see your authentic self, and that can foster deeper connections and mutual understanding.

So how do you practice this? Start by being honest about your feelings, both with yourself and with others.

If you’re feeling scared, admit it. If you’re feeling joyful, share it.

It might feel uncomfortable at first, but over time, you’ll find that embracing vulnerability can enhance your emotional intelligence in profound ways.

It’s about being real in a world that often encourages us to put up walls.

7) Practice gratitude

Gratitude is a powerful emotion, one that can significantly boost your emotional intelligence.

It’s about recognizing and appreciating the good things in your life, big or small.

Practicing gratitude helps you cultivate a positive mindset, which in turn improves your ability to manage and understand your emotions.

It shifts your focus from what’s wrong to what’s right, promoting a sense of contentment and well-being.

But how do you make gratitude a habit? One practical way is to keep a gratitude journal.

Each day, write down three things you’re thankful for.

They don’t have to be big—sometimes, it’s the little things that bring the most joy.

Give it a try. Take a moment each day to reflect on what you’re grateful for.

This simple habit can make you a more emotionally intelligent person, one who appreciates the good in life and spreads positivity to others.

8) Foster emotional literacy

If there’s one habit that stands out above the rest, it’s fostering emotional literacy.

This is the ability to identify, understand, and express your emotions accurately.

Mastering this skill is a game-changer.

It enables you to navigate your emotional landscape with confidence and clarity. You’re not just reacting to your emotions, you’re in control of them.

So, how do you improve your emotional literacy? Start by expanding your emotional vocabulary.

The more words you have to describe your feelings, the better you’ll be at understanding them.

Take time each day to reflect on how you’re feeling. Put a name to those emotions.

Are you feeling anxious or are you feeling overwhelmed? The difference matters.

Emotional literacy is not something we’re born with, but it’s something we can learn.

And the more you practice, the better you’ll get at it. Trust me, it’s a journey worth embarking on.

Embracing emotional intelligence

As we journey together to the end of this article, I hope you’ve gained a deeper appreciation for the power of emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence is not just about understanding others, but understanding yourself.

It’s about acknowledging the turbulent world of emotions within us, and learning to navigate it with grace and understanding.

Remember, emotional intelligence is not inherent. It’s a skill, one that can be honed and improved with practice.

These habits are your tools for becoming a more emotionally intelligent person.

They might seem small, but their impact can be profound.

So go forth and embrace your emotional intelligence.

It’s a journey of self-discovery, empathy, and connection.

And it’s a journey that’s well worth taking.