9 little habits that are making you less self-confident and more insecure

Did you know, the little habits we engage in daily can either make us feel invincible or shrink us into our shells, often without us even realizing it?
A minor slip-up here, a small oversight there, and before you know it, you’re questioning your worth.
Sound familiar? You’re not alone.
In this article, I’ll highlight 9 little habits that may be quietly sabotaging your self-confidence and making you feel more insecure.
Awareness is the first step to change, so let’s get started.
1) Overthinking
It’s not uncommon for us to find ourselves caught in a web of thoughts, especially when faced with important decisions or challenging situations.
Overthinking is one of those silent habits that can gnaw at your self-confidence and leave you feeling insecure. It’s when you start:
- Contemplating every possible scenario
- Second-guessing your decisions
- Doubting your capabilities
We all do it – replaying conversations in our heads, worrying about the future, or dwelling on past mistakes. But when overthinking becomes a habit, it can rob you of your peace of mind and self-assurance.
The more time we spend in our heads, the more we lose touch with reality and start believing in the distorted version of events our mind creates. This can lead to increased anxiety and decreased self-confidence.
Recognizing this habit is the first step towards regaining control over your thoughts and boosting your self-confidence.
Remember, not everything needs to be analyzed to the nth degree. Sometimes it’s better to let things be and trust in your abilities to handle whatever comes your way.
2) Seeking constant validation
One habit that I’ve personally struggled with, and I know many others do too, is seeking constant validation.
It’s that little voice in your head that says you’re not good enough unless someone else confirms it.
I remember a time when I couldn’t make a decision without first asking almost everyone I knew what they thought.
From choosing a new pair of shoes to deciding on a career move, I always needed someone else’s approval. And if I didn’t get it? Well, let’s just say it was a one-way ticket to Self-doubt City.
But here’s what I learned: relying on others to validate your worth can seriously damage your self-confidence. And more often than not, it leaves you feeling more insecure.
It’s okay to seek advice or feedback, but ultimately, you need to trust your judgment and make decisions that feel right to you. Because at the end of the day, you are the one who has to live with them.
Breaking free from this habit isn’t easy, but it’s a crucial step towards building solid self-confidence.
Start by making small decisions on your own and gradually work your way up.
3) Negative self-talk
Our minds are a constant chatterbox, and the nature of that chatter can significantly affect our self-confidence. Negative self-talk is a habit that can subtly erode your confidence and fuel insecurity.
Did you know the average person has about 60,000 thoughts per day, and 80% of them are negative?
That’s a lot of negativity to deal with daily!
Negative self-talk often comes in the form of harsh self-criticism, pessimism, or catastrophizing.
It’s like having a doom-and-gloom commentator narrating your life, highlighting every mistake and downplaying every achievement.
But here’s the good news: you have the power to change the narrative.
By consciously shifting your thoughts from negative to positive, you can build a stronger sense of self-worth and confidence.
Start replacing those negative thoughts with positive affirmations or constructive feedback. It might not be easy at first, but with practice, it becomes second nature.
4) Avoiding new experiences
New experiences can be daunting. They push us out of our comfort zones and force us to face the unknown.
But avoiding them can be a habit that keeps us from growing and, silently, chips away at our self-confidence.
Sticking to the familiar may feel comfortable, but it can also make you feel stagnant and insecure over time.
You might start doubting your ability to handle new situations or opportunities, leading to a decrease in self-confidence.
The truth is, growth often happens outside of our comfort zones.
Each new experience, whether it’s successful or not, provides a learning opportunity that can help you become more confident in your skills and abilities.
So, the next time you’re presented with a new experience, embrace it. It might be challenging at first, but remember, each step you take is a step towards building your self-confidence.
5) Comparing yourself to others
Comparison can be a silent thief of joy and self-confidence.
In a world where everyone’s highlight reel is on display through social media, it’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to others.
This habit can fuel feelings of inadequacy and insecurity, as we judge our behind-the-scenes by someone else’s polished performance. It can make us question our worth, skills, and achievements, leading to a significant dip in self-confidence.
But here’s the thing: everyone’s journey is different. And the only person you should be comparing yourself to is the person you were yesterday.
By focusing on your own growth and celebrating your accomplishments, big or small, you can shift from comparison to self-appreciation. This can significantly boost your self-confidence and help you embrace your unique path.
6) Not setting boundaries
The ability to set and maintain boundaries is one of the most significant acts of self-love and self-respect.
However, the fear of disappointing others often makes us compromise on them, leading to a habit that can leave us feeling less confident and more insecure.
When we constantly say ‘yes’ when we want to say ‘no’, we are silently telling ourselves that our needs, feelings, and time aren’t important. This can significantly dent our self-esteem and confidence over time.
It’s important to remember that it’s okay to say ‘no’. It’s okay to prioritize yourself. It’s okay to set boundaries.
By standing up for yourself and setting clear boundaries, you send a powerful message to yourself and others about your worth. This can greatly enhance your self-confidence and make you feel more secure in your relationships and interactions.
Remember, your value does not decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth. Stand tall, set boundaries, and watch your confidence soar.
7) Fearing failure
Failure is a part of life, but it can be a tough pill to swallow.
The fear of failing can often hold us back from trying new things, taking risks, and stepping outside our comfort zones.
I remember a time when I was offered a promotion that came with more responsibilities.
I was excited, but also terrified. My mind started playing out all the ways I could fail, and I considered turning down the opportunity to stay in my safe, familiar role.
But then I realized something: failure isn’t the opposite of success, it’s part of it. Each failure is an opportunity to learn, grow, and come back stronger.
By changing your perspective on failure and seeing it as a stepping stone rather than a stumbling block, you can boost your self-confidence and reduce feelings of insecurity.
So embrace failure as a part of your journey to success. After all, you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.
8) Ignoring self-care
In the hustle and bustle of life, it’s easy to put self-care on the back burner.
But ignoring self-care can become a habit that leaves you feeling drained, overwhelmed, and less confident.
Self-care is not just about bubble baths and spa days. It’s about taking care of your physical, emotional, and mental wellbeing. It’s about doing things that make you feel good about yourself.
Neglecting self-care can lead to burnout, stress, and a decrease in self-confidence. On the flip side, taking time to nurture yourself can boost your mood, improve your health, and enhance your self-esteem.
So, make self-care a priority. It could be as simple as:
- Taking a walk in nature
- Practicing mindfulness
- Engaging in a hobby you love
By taking care of yourself, you’re sending a message to your subconscious that you’re worth it, which can significantly boost your self-confidence.
9) Not acknowledging your achievements
One of the most powerful ways to boost your self-confidence is by acknowledging your achievements.
However, we often downplay our successes or brush them off as ‘no big deal’, which can make us feel less confident over time.
Your achievements are a testament to your skills, hard work, and perseverance. They are proof of what you are capable of.
By ignoring them, you’re robbing yourself of well-deserved recognition and the opportunity to build your self-confidence.
So, start celebrating your wins, no matter how small they may seem. Each victory is a building block towards a more confident and secure you.
Final thoughts: It’s a journey
The path to self-confidence is often paved with trials, errors, and self-discovery.
Every habit we’ve discussed here is a stepping stone towards understanding what might be holding you back. Recognizing these habits is not about self-criticism but about self-awareness and growth.
As you embark on this journey of self-improvement, remember that it’s okay to take small steps. It’s okay to stumble.
What matters is that you keep moving forward, growing, learning, and becoming the best version of yourself.