There’s a fine line between influencing someone and manipulating them.

While influencing is about persuasion and choice, manipulation is much more cunning, often hidden beneath layers of innocent-sounding words and actions.

Manipulative people have a knack for gaining control in subtle ways, often so discreetly that their tactics go unnoticed.

But smart people know how to spot these less obvious tricks and shield themselves from such behavior.

This article will uncover “9 less obvious tricks manipulative people use to gain control over you”.

Equipped with this knowledge, you’ll be able to identify manipulation when it happens, and protect yourself against it.

Don’t be fooled by the subtlety; these tactics can be just as damaging as more overt forms of manipulation.

1) Playing the victim card

Manipulators are masters at playing the victim card.

It’s a less obvious trick that’s often overlooked.

This tactic is all about shifting the blame and evading responsibility.

They manage to turn the tables, making you feel guilty for something they have done or didn’t do.

In other words, manipulators are experts at playing the role of the underdog to elicit sympathy and divert attention away from their manipulative behavior.

For instance, if you confront them about an issue, they might respond with something like, “You’re always picking on me” or “Why can’t you see how hard this is for me?”

It’s a clever way to avoid answering your questions and to make you feel bad for even asking.

This ploy is often so subtle and convincing that people fall for it without realizing they’re being manipulated.

So, next time someone consistently plays the victim in situations where they shouldn’t, take a step back.

You might be dealing with a manipulator.

2) Gaslighting

Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic that is as subtle as it is destructive.

It’s about creating doubts in your mind about your own perceptions or memories.

I remember an old friend of mine who was a pro at this.

We would have disagreements and somehow, I would always end up questioning my own recollection of events.

She would often say things like, “You’re overreacting,” or “That’s not how it happened,” even when I was sure of my facts.

Over time, I found myself doubting my judgment and second-guessing my memories.

Gaslighting is a powerful manipulation tool because it can make you question your own sanity.

It’s a way for manipulators to avoid accountability and make you feel like you’re the one in the wrong.

Spotting this trick can be challenging, but understanding what gaslighting looks like is the first step to combating it.

Trust your instincts – if you feel like something is off, it probably is.

3) Love bombing

Love bombing is a manipulative tactic often used by people seeking to control or influence others.

It’s a bombardment of affection, compliments, and attention, all designed to make you feel special and loved.

There’s an interesting psychological phenomenon at play here.

When someone showers you with excessive love and attention, it triggers a release of dopamine in your brain – the same neurotransmitter that’s released when you eat chocolate or win a game.

This creates a sense of euphoria and intense emotional connection.

However, the catch is that this affection is often short-lived and can be withdrawn as quickly as it was given, leaving you craving more.

This creates a cycle of dependency where the manipulator holds the power.

Remember, genuine affection is consistent and respectful, not overwhelming and fleeting.

Beware of love bombers who use affection as a tool for manipulation.

4) Negative reinforcement

Negative reinforcement is a psychological principle where certain behaviors are encouraged by removing a negative stimulus.

Manipulators often use this tactic to subtly gain control over others.

For instance, a manipulator might regularly complain or sulk until they get their way.

Once they achieve what they want, the negative behavior stops.

Over time, you may find yourself giving in to their demands just to avoid the discomfort of their complaints or moodiness.

This cycle can be very damaging, as it gradually conditions you to accept and cater to the manipulator’s needs and wants at the expense of your own.

Learning to recognize this pattern can help you break free from the manipulative cycle and regain control over your own decisions and actions.

5) Silent treatment

The silent treatment is another tool in the manipulator’s arsenal.

It’s a form of emotional abuse that involves ignoring or refusing to communicate with you, often as a punishment or a means to assert control.

For example, if you’ve had a disagreement with a manipulator, they might stop talking to you or responding to your messages.

This can leave you feeling anxious, guilty, and desperate to make amends, even if you weren’t in the wrong.

The goal of the silent treatment is to make you feel powerless and to manipulate you into complying with their wishes.

It’s a subtle yet effective way of gaining control over you.

Recognizing this tactic is vital in maintaining your emotional wellbeing.

Healthy communication is key in any relationship and everyone deserves to be heard and respected.

6) Isolating from loved ones

Manipulators have a knack for isolating their targets from their support networks.

This is a strategy designed to make you more dependent on them, and it’s often done so subtly that you may not even realize it’s happening.

They might start by making negative comments about your friends or family, planting seeds of doubt about their intentions or character.

Slowly, they create a wedge between you and your loved ones, making themselves your primary source of support and validation.

Feeling isolated can be incredibly tough.

It can make you feel alone in dealing with the manipulator, and it can also make it more difficult to recognize their manipulative behavior.

Anyone who truly cares for you will encourage your relationships with those who are important to you.

If someone is trying to isolate you from your loved ones, it’s a red flag that they might be trying to manipulate and control you.

7) Guilt tripping

Guilt tripping is a classic manipulation tactic.

It’s about making you feel guilty for not complying with the manipulator’s desires, making it difficult for you to say no to them.

I remember a time when an acquaintance would constantly ask me for favors, often at the expense of my own time and well-being. If I ever tried to decline, they’d say something like, “I thought you were my friend,” or “I’ve always been there for you, why can’t you do this one thing for me?”

This made me feel obligated and guilty, and I often found myself agreeing to things that I didn’t want to do.

Guilt tripping can make you feel like you’re in the wrong for setting boundaries.

But it’s crucial to remember that your needs are just as important.

Don’t let anyone use your empathy and kindness as a weapon against you.

8) Using confusion

Manipulators often use confusion as a tactic to gain control.

They might constantly change the topic, contradict themselves, or provide vague and misleading information.

This is designed to keep you off balance and make it harder for you to make informed decisions.

For example, a manipulator might agree to something, then later deny they ever agreed.

Or they might provide so much information that you’re left feeling overwhelmed and unsure.

This constant state of confusion can leave you feeling dependent on the manipulator for clarity and direction, giving them more control over you.

To counteract this, always seek clarity and don’t be afraid to ask questions. 

9) Emotional blackmail

Emotional blackmail is perhaps one of the most harmful tactics manipulators use.

It’s all about exploiting your fears, insecurities, and vulnerabilities to control you.

This could involve threats, ultimatums, or playing on your guilt or sympathy.

The message is clear: comply with my wishes, or suffer the consequences.

It’s a powerful and damaging tool because it preys on your emotions, making it difficult to think clearly or make rational decisions.

No one has the right to manipulate your emotions or use them against you.

Stand firm against emotional blackmail. You have the right to make decisions free from fear, obligation, or guilt.

Unmasking the manipulator

Understanding the subtleties of manipulation can be a powerful shield against those who seek to control and influence you.

As we’ve explored, manipulators often use cleverly disguised tactics such as love bombing, gaslighting, and emotional blackmail to gain control.

These tactics can be damaging and cause a significant amount of emotional distress.

Recognizing these nine tricks is an important step towards that victory.

By equipping ourselves with this knowledge, we become more resilient and less likely to fall prey to manipulation.

We empower ourselves to stand up against such behavior and protect our own emotional well-being.

In the end, it’s all about setting boundaries and understanding that everyone deserves respect and genuine relationships.

We have the right to make our own decisions free from manipulation.

Because in the grand scheme of things, our mental and emotional health is of paramount importance.