Learning to prioritize yourself isn’t easy, especially when you’ve spent a lifetime putting others first. But hey, it’s about time we flip the script.

Psychology tells us that self-care isn’t selfish, but necessary for our mental well-being. Think of it this way: you can’t pour from an empty cup, right?

This article is about learning to refill your cup. We’ll explore seven ways to start putting yourself first, without any guilt attached. It’s about creating a healthy balance in life, for your sake and for those around you.

Let’s dive in and learn how to start putting ourselves first in a world that often demands otherwise.

1) Recharging isn’t optional

“Self-care is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation.” This is a powerful quote from renowned psychologist Audre Lorde.

It’s an important reminder that putting ourselves first isn’t about being selfish, it’s about taking care of our mental and emotional health.

We often find ourselves in situations where we’re trying to keep everyone else happy. But guess what? It’s impossible to please everyone all the time. Plus, it’s exhausting!

Psychology tells us that we can’t pour from an empty cup. We need to recharge, replenish and rejuvenate ourselves first before we can take care of others effectively.

It’s high time we understood that prioritizing self-care isn’t optional; it’s essential. So let’s start by scheduling some me-time into our daily routine.

Whether it’s a quiet cup of coffee in the morning or a relaxing bubble bath at night, let’s make sure we’re filling our own cup first.

Remember, it’s not selfish, it’s self-preservation.

2) Setting boundaries is crucial

I remember a time when I would find myself agreeing to plans, favors and responsibilities I didn’t want to take on.

I was constantly overextending myself, trying to wear all the hats, be all things to all people, and it was taking a toll on my health and happiness.

Then, I stumbled upon a quote by psychologist Dr. Henry Cloud: “Boundaries define us. They define what is me and what is not me.”

This quote resonated with me deeply. I realized that I was letting others define my worth and my time.

It was time for a change. I started setting boundaries with my family, friends and colleagues. It was difficult at first, as others were used to my ‘yes’ for everything.

But with time, they understood. And to my surprise, they respected my space and time even more.

Setting boundaries is a fundamental part of self-care. It’s okay to say no when you need to. It doesn’t mean you’re selfish or uncaring, it simply means you’re taking care of yourself. And that’s not just okay – it’s crucial.

3) Embrace imperfection

Ever feel like you’re constantly chasing perfection? You’re not alone.

The truth is, we live in a society that often equates success with perfection. But what if I told you perfection is a myth?

Psychologist Carl Rogers once said, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”

In other words, accepting our flaws and imperfections is the first step towards personal growth.

The pursuit of perfection led me down a path of endless stress and self-criticism. It felt like no matter what I achieved, it was never good enough. Then I embraced my imperfections and it was liberating.

Perfection is unattainable. What we can strive for instead, is growth and progress. So let’s stop judging ourselves so harshly for our mistakes and our flaws.

Let’s embrace them as part of our unique self. After all, it’s our imperfections that make us human. And there’s nothing more beautiful than being authentically human.

4) Practice mindfulness

How often do we find ourselves rushing through life, our minds filled with thoughts about the past or worries about the future?

A study found that people spend almost 47% of their waking hours thinking about something other than what they’re currently doing. This mind-wandering is often linked to feelings of unhappiness.

Mindfulness, on the other hand, involves focusing on the present moment without judgment. It’s about acknowledging our feelings without letting them overwhelm us.

When I started practicing mindfulness, I noticed a significant change in my mental well-being. I became more aware of my feelings and thoughts, and less consumed by stress and anxiety.

It allowed me to take a step back, breathe, and prioritize my needs and wants.

Incorporating mindfulness into our daily routine can be as simple as taking a few minutes each day to focus on our breath, or consciously engaging with our senses when doing everyday activities.

By staying present, we can better understand our needs and learn to put ourselves first.

5) Celebrate your achievements

Growing up, I was always told to be humble. Celebrating my achievements felt like showing off.

But over time, I realized that recognizing and celebrating my own accomplishments was not about being boastful but about acknowledging my hard work and progress.

Recognizing our achievements, no matter how small they might seem, can shift our self-perception and boost our self-esteem.

Let’s start by acknowledging our daily wins. Did you finish a task you’ve been putting off? Celebrate it. Did you stand up for yourself? Celebrate it. Did you take time out for self-care? Absolutely celebrate it.

These are all significant achievements in the journey of putting ourselves first. By celebrating these moments, we reinforce the positive behavior and encourage more of it in the future.

So go ahead – give yourself that pat on the back. You deserve it.

6) It’s okay to ask for help

Now, this might seem counterintuitive when we’re talking about putting ourselves first. But bear with me.

I used to equate self-reliance with strength. Asking for help felt like admitting weakness. But then, I came across a quote by psychologist Carl Jung: “The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely.”

Accepting oneself includes acknowledging our limitations and reaching out when we need assistance.

Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of strength.

It shows that we understand our limits and value ourselves enough to seek support when needed. It’s not about burdening others but about taking care of our well-being.

The next time you’re overwhelmed or unsure, remember it’s perfectly okay to ask for help. We’re all human, and sometimes, we could use a helping hand.

7) Learn to say ‘no’

“No.” It’s a small word, but often, the hardest one to say. But as psychologist William James puts it, “The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook.”

Saying ‘no’ to things that drain us, to tasks that overload us, and to people who don’t respect our boundaries is a crucial part of self-care. It’s about knowing our worth and choosing ourselves first.

Let’s practice the art of saying ‘no.’ It might be difficult at first, but with time, it becomes easier and liberating. Remember, saying ‘no’ to others often means saying ‘yes’ to ourselves.

Final reflections

The journey to putting ourselves first can be challenging, especially when we’ve spent a lifetime prioritizing others.

Yet, it’s a journey that offers immense rewards – peace of mind, personal growth, and a deeper sense of self-worth.

These seven strategies are stepping stones towards achieving this balance. They’re not quick fixes but practices that require patience, persistence, and self-compassion.

Let’s start today. Let’s start with small steps. A little more mindfulness here, a gentle ‘no’ there. A moment to celebrate our achievements and an understanding of our limitations.

There’s no better time than now to start prioritizing ourselves. Because remember, in the grand scheme of things, you matter the most to you. So take care and put yourself first. You are worth it.