7 things older siblings do that create lasting trust with their younger siblings, says psychology

Farley Ledgerwood by Farley Ledgerwood | June 19, 2025, 3:29 pm

Building trust is a fundamental part of any relationship. And when it comes to the bond between siblings, it’s the older ones who often set the tone.

As an older sibling, you’re like a guide, showing your younger brothers and sisters the ropes of life. It’s a big responsibility, and it often involves more than just sharing your toys or giving them the bigger slice of cake.

Psychology suggests there are specific things that older siblings can do to foster a lasting sense of trust with their younger counterparts.

I’m going to let you in on these seven things older siblings do that create lasting trust with their younger siblings.

Stick around and you might just pick up some tips that could strengthen your sibling bonds, or even help you navigate other relationships in your life.

Remember, it’s not only about being the best sibling you can be, but also about honing your interpersonal skills and becoming a better communicator. And who knows?

You might find these tips handy when interacting with your colleagues on your next big project!

1) Being there

Trust doesn’t just appear; it’s built over time, through consistent actions and unwavering reliability.

In the world of sibling relationships, this translates into the simple act of being there.

Being there for your younger siblings when they need you, whether it’s to help with homework, listen to their problems or even just hang out, sends a clear signal: you can be relied on. And that’s a major building block of trust.

But keep in mind, it’s not just about physical presence. It’s also about being emotionally available and receptive to their feelings and concerns.

By simply being there for your younger siblings, both physically and emotionally, you’re setting a foundation of trust that can last a lifetime.

2) Leading by example

One of the most powerful ways to build trust with your younger siblings is by setting a good example.

As an older sibling, I’ve come to realize that my younger sisters look up to me in more ways than I can count. Whether it’s how I handle my studies, navigate friendships, or even how I react to setbacks.

I remember this one time when I had a really tough math assignment due. I was frustrated and ready to give up.

Instead of throwing in the towel, I decided to buckle down and work through it. Little did I know, my youngest sister was watching.

The next day, she had her own struggle with a school project. But instead of giving up, she told me she remembered how I handled my math assignment and decided to do the same. That’s when I realized the profound impact of leading by example.

Your actions as an older sibling are a guide for your younger siblings. When they see you handle situations with grace, resilience and integrity, they’re learning valuable life lessons which not only builds admiration but also fosters trust.

3) The power of honesty

Have you ever wondered why honesty is often hailed as the “best policy”?

Being honest with our younger siblings, even when it’s uncomfortable, fosters trust in a very real way.

This doesn’t mean we have to unload every hard truth on them, but it does mean we should be as transparent as we can, given their age and maturity level.

I recall the time my younger brother found out I lost my job. Rather than covering it up with a story about choosing to leave, I decided to be honest.

I explained how it felt to fail, to pick myself up and continue searching for a new job. It was a raw and real conversation that brought us closer.

This honesty showed him that I trusted him with my vulnerabilities. It also showed him that it’s okay to fail and that resilience is key.

As renowned psychologist Brene Brown once said, “Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome.”

By being honest about our failures and struggles, we’re teaching our younger siblings life’s inevitable lessons and in turn building a bond of trust that’s rooted in authenticity and understanding.

4) Demonstrating empathy

Empathy, the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, is a key element in building trust with younger siblings.

When we empathize with our younger siblings, we show them that we understand their feelings and experiences. This understanding can foster a deep sense of trust and bond.

I remember reading a study which found that children who perceive their siblings as warm and supportive report stronger self-esteem and less depression later in life.

The researchers found that when older siblings demonstrate empathy towards their younger siblings, it leads to better mental health outcomes for the younger siblings in their teenage years.

This is because empathy fosters an environment where the younger sibling feels understood, valued, and safe.

By demonstrating empathy, we’re not only helping our younger siblings navigate their emotions better but also cementing a lasting bond of trust with them.

5) Keeping promises

How many times have you heard someone say, “Promise is a big word”?

Promises, whether big or small, are like unwritten contracts. When we make a promise to our younger siblings and keep it, we’re showing them that our words have weight and that they can rely on us.

I’ve learned this lesson over the years with my younger brother. Even something as simple as promising to play a video game with him after dinner – when I stick to it, it strengthens his trust in me. But when I don’t, I can see the disappointment in his eyes.

The renowned psychologist Erik Erikson once said, “Hope is both the earliest and the most indispensable virtue inherent in the state of being alive.”

When we make a promise, we give hope. When we fulfill that promise, we solidify trust.

By keeping our promises, no matter how small they may seem, we’re cultivating trust with our younger siblings. It’s a simple yet effective way of proving that we are reliable and trustworthy.

6) Admitting when you’re wrong

It might seem counterintuitive, but admitting when you’re wrong can actually strengthen the trust between you and your younger siblings.

No one is perfect, and showing that you can acknowledge and learn from your mistakes demonstrates humility. It also sets a great example for your younger siblings about owning up to their mistakes.

Think about it this way – if you’re always right, it can create an unrealistic standard for your younger siblings to live up to.

But when they see you making mistakes and handling them gracefully, it becomes easier for them to do the same.

By admitting our faults and working on them, we’re not only setting a good example but also building a trustful relationship with our younger siblings, grounded in openness and understanding.

7) Showing respect

Respect is a two-way street, and it’s just as important to show it as it is to receive it.

By showing respect for your younger siblings’ thoughts, feelings, and opinions, you’re fostering a sense of trust and equality. It tells them that their voices matter and that they are valued.

In essence, showing respect is a small but powerful way to build lasting trust with your younger siblings.

Final reflections

The bond between siblings is indeed a special one. It’s a mix of shared childhood, love, rivalry, and a myriad of other emotions.

As we’ve explored, the role of an older sibling goes beyond just sharing genes or a last name. They’re guideposts, role models, and confidants for younger siblings.

The trust that forms between them not only shapes their relationship but also influences their interactions with the world around them.

From being present, leading by example, to demonstrating empathy, keeping promises, admitting when you’re wrong, and showing respect – these elements weave together to form a tapestry of trust.

As we navigate through life’s ups and downs with our younger siblings, let’s remember that every action, every word, every promise has the potential to cement this bond further.

Let’s strive to be the best older siblings we can be – not just for our younger siblings but also for ourselves. Because at the end of the day, this trust is not a one-way street. It enriches us as much as it does them.