7 red-flag compliments people use when they plan to ghost you, according to psychology

Farley Ledgerwood by Farley Ledgerwood | June 21, 2025, 10:16 pm

There’s a fine line between genuine compliments and those that sound alarm bells in your head.

These ‘red flag’ compliments are often doled out by individuals who plan to ghost you, and they’re sneakier than you might think.

Ghosting, as we all know, is the act of suddenly disappearing from someone’s life without any explanation. And, according to psychology, there are certain compliments that can be early warnings of an impending ghosting situation.

In this article, we’re going to dissect seven of these red-flag compliments. Understanding these will not only save you from potential heartbreak but also help you read between the lines better in your future interactions.

Remember, it’s not about being paranoid, but about being smart and cautious in the world of nuanced communication.

1) “You’re too good for me”

This compliment might seem flattering at first. Who wouldn’t want to be considered ‘too good’?

In essence, they’re planting the seed of doubt in your mind and preparing you for their inevitable disappearance. It’s a cleverly disguised way of easing their own guilt while leaving you blindsided.

Remember, a genuine compliment should uplift you, not leave you questioning its underlying intent. So, be alert when someone showers you with this seemingly high praise.

2) “I’ve never met anyone like you before”

This one hits close to home for me. I once dated someone who would constantly tell me, “I’ve never met anyone like you before.”

It sounded sweet and made me feel unique. Until, one day, out of the blue, they disappeared. No explanations, no goodbyes, just silence. Looking back, I realize that this compliment was more about them than me.

It’s a subtle way of creating an emotional disconnect while making it seem like they’re complimenting your uniqueness.

It’s a red flag that’s easy to miss if you’re not looking for it. So remember my story the next time someone tells you they’ve never met anyone quite like you.

3) “We should totally do that… someday”

Ever been told by someone, “We should totally do that… someday”? Sounds like a promise for the future, right? Unfortunately, this compliment might be more of a red flag than a sweet pledge.

This vague commitment to future plans gives them an easy escape route. It’s a promise with no real timeline or commitment attached. It keeps you hopeful and them guilt-free when they decide to disappear.

Let’s be honest, we all deserve better than a ‘someday.’ So, next time you hear this, remember it’s not necessarily the promise of a future together. It could be an indication that your future might be ghost-free.

4) “You’re so much better than my ex”

Being compared to an ex, especially favorably, can feel like a win. But is it really? Or is it a carefully orchestrated red flag?

People who frequently compare their current partners to their exes may be less committed to the relationship. It’s a subtle way of keeping one foot in the past and one foot ready to bolt.

When someone tells you, “You’re so much better than my ex,” it might seem like a compliment at first glance. But in reality, it’s a sign that they’re not entirely present in the relationship with you.

This comparison could be a warning sign that they’re not fully committed and might ghost you in the end. So, don’t be too flattered next time you’re compared favorably to an ex. It might not be the compliment you think it is.

5) “You deserve someone better”

This one stings a bit. I remember hearing this from someone I was seeing, and I initially took it as a humble admission of their shortcomings. But, as time revealed, it was a precursor to them ghosting me.

It’s a disguised way of saying they’re planning to leave without actually taking responsibility for the impending ghosting.

It leaves you feeling like you’ve been given a compliment when, in reality, it’s a subtle admission of their exit strategy.

If you hear this one, be wary. It might not mean what you think it does. It’s not about you deserving better; it’s about them preparing to leave.

6) “I can tell you anything”

At first glance, this seems like a sign of trust and intimacy, right? But surprisingly, it might be a red flag.

It’s counterintuitive, but this compliment could be a way to make you feel secure in the relationship while they’re planning their exit. They’re creating a false sense of intimacy to keep you off guard.

Next time you hear this compliment, take a moment. Is the trust and closeness mutual? Or is it just words? It might be a sign that they’re planning to ghost you.

7) “You’re so understanding”

This compliment might seem innocent enough, but according to psychologist Dr. Ramani Durvasula, it can be a red flag.

She states, “When someone constantly praises you for being understanding, they might be setting you up to accept behaviors that you shouldn’t have to.”

They’re praising your understanding nature to make it easier for them when they decide to ghost you. It’s their way of subtly manipulating your expectations.

Next time you’re hailed for your understanding nature, take a pause. It might not be the compliment it seems to be.

Final thoughts

Navigating the murky waters of human interactions can often feel like a daunting task. The compliments we’ve discussed today highlight the subtleties and complexities that lie beneath seemingly innocent words.

Understanding these red flags is not about nurturing a cynical view of relationships or human behavior.

It’s about empowering yourself with knowledge and awareness, so you can navigate your interactions with confidence and discernment.

Whether it’s recognizing a potential ghoster or understanding your own communication patterns, awareness is key. After all, as we’ve seen, even compliments can be cloaked warnings in disguise.

Next time someone showers you with praise, take a moment. Reflect. Is it a genuine expression of admiration? Or is it one of the red flags we’ve discussed today? Now, you’ll know better.

Remember, in the labyrinth of human interactions, knowledge is your guiding light.