There’s a certain magic to those people who are just so easy to be around, isn’t there? They lighten the mood, they make you smile, and by the end of the conversation, you’re feeling better than you did before.

Psychology sheds some light on what makes these individuals so magnetic. It’s not all about charisma or an outgoing personality. In fact, it often boils down to seven distinctive traits.

In this article, we’ll delve into these seven traits that make a person pleasant and comfortable to be around. It’s not about changing who you are, but rather understanding what people find appealing in social interactions.

And who knows? Maybe you’ll discover that you already possess some of these qualities, or perhaps you’ll find a few areas where you can polish your social skills just a little bit more.

After all, whether it’s in our personal lives or professional spheres, we could all use a bit more charm and warmth. So let’s dive in!

1) They listen more than they speak

We’ve all encountered that person who just won’t stop talking about themselves, and it’s often not a pleasant experience. But those people who are truly enjoyable to be around? They have a different approach.

According to psychology, the ability to listen, truly listen, is one of the most appealing traits a person can possess.

Carl Rogers, a renowned psychologist, once said, “When someone really hears you without passing judgment on you, without trying to take responsibility for you, without trying to mold you, it feels damn good!”

And he was right. People who are easy to be around often listen more than they speak. They make you feel heard and valued. They show genuine interest in what you’re saying and respond in thoughtful ways.

It’s not about being silent; it’s about being present. It’s about understanding that every conversation is an opportunity to learn something new, not just about the other person but also about yourself.

So next time you’re in a conversation, try listening more than you speak and see the difference it makes.

2) They practice empathy

When I think about the people who are a joy to be around, one trait they all share is empathy. They can put themselves in others’ shoes and understand what they are going through.

There was a time when I was going through a rough patch at work. Projects were piling up, deadlines were looming, and the pressure was unbearable.

A friend of mine noticed my stress one day and instead of offering solutions or brushing it off, he just sat with me. He heard me out, empathized with my situation, and just let me vent. His understanding and empathy made a world of difference to me.

Practicing empathy doesn’t mean you have to fix others’ problems. Often, it’s about understanding, validating their feelings, and being there for them. It’s one of those traits that doesn’t just make you pleasant to be around; it makes you a better human being.

3) They understand the power of vulnerability

Have you ever wondered why certain people are instantly relatable?

The answer often lies in their ability to be vulnerable. In my experience, the most enjoyable people to be around are those who aren’t afraid to let their guard down and show their true selves, warts and all.

Brené Brown, a research professor at the University of Houston, has spent her career studying vulnerability. She says, “Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome.”

That’s the beauty of vulnerability. It’s raw, it’s real, and it creates a deep connection between people. It allows others to see we’re human, just like them. We have our insecurities, our failures, and our moments of weakness.

The pleasant people in our lives understand this. They don’t put on a facade or try to be someone they’re not. Instead, they embrace their vulnerabilities and share them openly, encouraging others to do the same.

Remember, it takes courage to be vulnerable. But when you are, you open up a whole new level of connection with others. That’s what makes you not just pleasant but also deeply human and relatable.

4) They display genuine positivity

Positivity is more than just a buzzword. It’s a mindset that can significantly impact how we perceive the world around us and how others perceive us.

People who are pleasant to be around often exude a genuine sense of positivity. They don’t just plaster on a fake smile or use empty words. Instead, their optimism is authentic and deeply rooted.

A study from the University of California, Berkeley, found that people who practiced regular moments of positive reflection had higher levels of happiness and lower levels of stress. This positivity didn’t just affect them but also the people around them.

These individuals understand that life isn’t always perfect, but they choose to focus on the good rather than dwell on the negatives. Their positivity is infectious and uplifting, making them easy and enjoyable to be around.

However, it’s important to remember that genuine positivity isn’t about ignoring life’s challenges or suppressing negative emotions. It’s about acknowledging these difficulties but choosing to find the silver linings where possible.

5) They maintain a non-judgmental attitude

I’ve always admired those individuals who can sit in a room with anyone and make them feel completely at ease. It’s like they have this superpower of creating a judgment-free space where people feel safe to be themselves.

This non-judgmental attitude is a common trait among people who are pleasant to be around. They don’t jump to conclusions or make snap judgments. Instead, they approach each interaction with an open mind and heart.

Carl Rogers, the famous psychologist, once said, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” The same principle applies when we accept others as they are, without judgment.

Those easy-to-be-around folks understand this paradox. They practice acceptance and refrain from judgment, allowing people the freedom to express themselves authentically.

Having a non-judgmental attitude doesn’t mean you have to agree with everyone or everything. It’s about recognizing and respecting individual differences. This respect is what sets the stage for genuine connections and makes people enjoyable to be around.

6) They aren’t afraid to say no

It might sound counterintuitive, but people who are pleasant to be around often aren’t people-pleasers. In fact, they understand the power of saying no.

Many of us struggle with saying no. We fear disappointing others or coming off as unkind. But setting boundaries is crucial for our own wellbeing and for maintaining authentic relationships.

Renowned psychologist Dr. Henry Cloud said, “We change our behavior when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing.”

This applies perfectly to the art of saying no. The discomfort of setting a boundary often pales in comparison to the stress and resentment that can build up when we constantly say yes.

Those enjoyable people in our lives get this. They know their limits, and they aren’t afraid to communicate them. They understand that saying no allows them to say yes to the things that truly matter to them.

Don’t be afraid to say no when you need to. It might make you more pleasant to be around than you think!

7) They practice gratitude

Lastly, but most certainly not least, people who are pleasant to be around often have a deep sense of gratitude.

Gratitude is more than saying “thank you.” It’s a mindset, a way of seeing the world. It’s about focusing on what’s good in our lives and acknowledging it.

As psychologist Dr. Robert Emmons puts it, “Gratitude is a way for people to appreciate what they have instead of always reaching for something new in the hopes it will make them happier.”

Those enjoyable individuals understand the power of gratitude. They appreciate the small moments and express their thanks regularly.

Practicing gratitude doesn’t just make us more enjoyable to be around; it also contributes to our own happiness. So why not give it a try?

Wrapping up

The traits that make someone pleasant to be around aren’t always flashy or overtly noticeable. They are often subtle, quiet, and deeply ingrained in how a person interacts with the world.

Being a good listener, practicing empathy, showing vulnerability, maintaining positivity, having a non-judgmental attitude, setting boundaries, and expressing gratitude – these are the qualities that make us feel comfortable and at ease around someone.

But remember, these traits aren’t merely about making others feel good. They’re about being authentic, self-aware, and emotionally intelligent. They not only make us more enjoyable to be around, they also enrich our own lives.

As we navigate through life’s complexities, it’s worth reflecting on these traits. Not to meticulously mold ourselves based on them but to simply understand their value. After all, becoming a better version of ourselves is an ongoing journey, not a destination.

So let’s continue this journey with open minds and hearts, embracing the potential for growth and connection that lies within each interaction. And who knows? We might just find that we become those pleasant people others love to be around.