Some people lift us up, while others leave us feeling drained. Over time, I’ve learned that protecting my energy isn’t selfish—it’s necessary.

Cutting ties with people who drain you isn’t easy, though. The guilt can creep in, making you second-guess your decision. But setting boundaries doesn’t mean you’re cruel or unkind—it means you value your well-being.

The good news? There are ways to step away from toxic relationships without the guilt weighing you down. Here are eight ways to do it with confidence and clarity.

1) Accept that not everyone is meant to stay in your life

One of the hardest things to accept is that not everyone is meant to be a permanent part of your life. People grow, circumstances change, and sometimes, relationships that once felt right start to feel exhausting.

If someone consistently drains your energy, it’s okay to acknowledge that the relationship has run its course. This doesn’t mean you’re a bad person—it just means you’re prioritizing your well-being.

Letting go isn’t about blame or resentment. It’s about recognizing when a connection no longer serves you and allowing yourself the space to move forward guilt-free.

2) Notice how you feel after spending time with them

I used to have a friend who, no matter what, always left me feeling mentally drained. Every conversation revolved around their problems, their drama, their frustrations.

I wanted to be supportive, but over time, I realized our friendship had become one-sided—I was constantly giving, and they were constantly taking.

One day, after hanging out with them, I noticed just how exhausted I felt. It wasn’t the kind of tiredness that comes from a fun, deep conversation. It was the kind that made me want to crawl into bed and avoid people for the rest of the day.

That’s when I knew something had to change.

Pay attention to how you feel after spending time with someone. Do you feel uplifted and energized? Or do you feel drained and emotionally depleted?

Your emotions are a powerful guide—trust them.

3) Set boundaries and stick to them

People who drain your energy often don’t realize they’re doing it—or they’ve gotten used to taking as much as they can without pushback. That’s why setting boundaries is so important. If you don’t make it clear what you will and won’t tolerate, they’ll continue to take advantage of your time and energy.

Studies have shown that people who struggle with setting boundaries often experience higher levels of stress and burnout. The reason? Without clear limits, they end up prioritizing others’ needs over their own, leaving little room for personal well-being.

So start small. Limit how often you engage with certain people, say no when something doesn’t feel right, and don’t feel the need to explain yourself. The more consistent you are, the more people will learn to respect your limits.

4) Reduce contact gradually

Cutting ties doesn’t always have to be a dramatic, one-time event. In many cases, slowly creating distance can be just as effective—and much easier to manage emotionally.

Instead of responding to every message right away, take longer to reply. Decline invitations more often. Prioritize spending time with people who uplift you instead.

Over time, the relationship will naturally fade without the need for a big confrontation.

This approach is especially helpful if you’re dealing with someone who is overly dependent on you. By gradually stepping back, you give them the chance to adjust while also reclaiming your own space.

5) Let go of the guilt

It’s easy to feel guilty when distancing yourself from someone, especially if you care about them.

But protecting your energy isn’t an act of cruelty—it’s an act of self-respect. You are not responsible for carrying relationships that leave you exhausted.

Think about it this way: You can’t pour from an empty cup. If a relationship is draining you, it’s taking away energy that could be spent on people who truly value and support you.

Letting go doesn’t mean you don’t care—it means you’re choosing to care about yourself, too.

You deserve relationships that bring you peace, not ones that leave you feeling depleted. Give yourself permission to step away without guilt. Your well-being matters.

6) Accept that some people won’t understand

Not everyone will understand why you’re creating distance—and that’s something you have to make peace with.

Some people will question your decision, try to guilt you into staying, or act as if you’re the one in the wrong.

I’ve been in situations where I walked away from relationships that weren’t healthy for me, only to have others judge me for it.

They didn’t see the exhaustion I felt after every interaction or the toll it took on my mental health. And for a while, I let that judgment get to me.

But eventually, I realized that no one else has to understand my decision except me. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for prioritizing your well-being. The people who truly care about you will respect your choices—even if they don’t fully get them.

7) Focus on relationships that uplift you

When you step away from draining relationships, it creates space for healthier, more fulfilling connections. Instead of dwelling on who you’re letting go of, shift your focus to the people who bring positivity into your life.

Spend more time with friends who support and energize you. Strengthen bonds with those who listen, encourage, and genuinely care about your well-being.

The more you surround yourself with uplifting relationships, the easier it becomes to walk away from those that no longer serve you.

You deserve to be around people who make you feel valued, heard, and appreciated. Prioritizing those connections will remind you why letting go was the right choice.

8) Trust yourself

If a relationship feels draining, that feeling is there for a reason. You don’t need anyone else’s permission to walk away. You don’t need to justify why something no longer feels right.

Your intuition is enough. Your well-being is enough. Choosing yourself is enough.

Bottom line: Letting go creates space for something better

Human relationships are complex, but one truth remains constant—energy is finite. The people we surround ourselves with shape our emotional and mental well-being, influencing how we feel, think, and even how we see ourselves.

Psychologists have long emphasized the importance of emotional boundaries in maintaining mental health. When we hold onto relationships that drain us, we deplete our own reserves, leaving little room for growth, joy, or deeper connections.

Letting go isn’t just about walking away; it’s about making space. Space for peace. Space for relationships that nourish rather than exhaust. Space to invest in yourself without guilt or hesitation.

The weight of unhealthy connections can be heavy, but once you release them, you realize how much lighter life can feel.