Some people only show up in your life when they need something.

You know the type:

– The friend who only texts when they’re in trouble.

– The coworker who’s extra nice when they need a favor.

– The family member who disappears until they want money.

I used to be oblivious to people like this. I’d give and give, thinking I was just being a good person. But over time, I realized that some relationships were completely one-sided—I was being used, not valued.

As a psychology enthusiast, I’ve spent years studying human behavior. And guess what? Psychology has a lot to say about these people and the patterns they follow.

In this article, I’ll go over 7 types of people who only show up when they need something—so you can spot them before they drain your time and energy.

Let’s dive in.

1) The fair-weather friend

We all know this person. They’re around when life is good—laughing with you, making plans, acting like a true friend.

But the moment you need support? Nowhere to be found.

Fair-weather friends thrive on convenience. They enjoy the good times but disappear when things get tough.

And according to psychology, this often comes down to self-interest—they prioritize relationships that benefit them and avoid those that require emotional investment.

I used to make excuses for people like this, convincing myself they were just “busy” or “going through something.” But over time, I realized a hard truth: real friends don’t vanish when you need them most.

If you notice someone only showing up for fun but never for support, it might be time to reevaluate the relationship. True friendship is a two-way street—not just a good-time convenience.

2) The constant favor asker

There was a guy I used to work with who only reached out when he needed something—covering his shifts, lending him money, or helping him with projects he had left until the last minute.

At first, I didn’t mind. I figured that’s just what friends do. But then I realized something: he never checked in on me unless there was a request attached. No casual “Hey, how’s it going?”—just straight to “Can you do me a favor?”

Psychologist Robert Cialdini, known for his work on influence and persuasion, once said, “People will do something for you if you’ve already done something for them.”

This is called the reciprocity principle, and unfortunately, some people exploit it. They assume that because you’ve helped them before, you’ll keep doing it—without ever giving back.

Eventually, I started saying no. And guess what? The messages stopped completely. That’s when I knew for sure: I was nothing more than a resource to him.

If someone in your life only reaches out with a request, take a step back. Healthy relationships aren’t built on endless favors—they’re built on mutual care and respect.

3) The disappearing act

A few years ago, I had a friend who I was really close with—at least, that’s what I thought. We’d talk all the time, hang out regularly, and support each other through tough moments.

But then something changed. He got into a new relationship, and suddenly, he vanished. No more texts, no more invites to hang out—just radio silence.

At first, I gave him space. I figured he was just caught up in something new. But as months passed, it became clear: he only had time for me when he wasn’t busy with someone else.

Then, like clockwork, the relationship ended—and guess who popped back into my life? He acted like nothing had happened, like we could just pick up where we left off. And as soon as things got better for him again? Gone.

This kind of behavior isn’t just frustrating—it’s a sign of an inconsistent, one-sided relationship.

Real friends don’t disappear when something (or someone) new comes along. They make an effort to stay connected, even when life gets busy.

If you notice someone cycling in and out of your life only when it’s convenient for them, ask yourself: do they actually value your friendship, or are you just their backup plan?

4) The emotional dump truck

Ever had someone who only reaches out when they need to vent? They unload all their problems on you, expect endless support, and then disappear once they feel better—until the next crisis hits.

I had a former colleague who did this constantly. Every time something went wrong in his life, I was his first call. I’d listen for hours, offering advice and reassurance.

But when things were going well for him? Silence. No check-ins, no interest in my life—just gone until the next meltdown.

Psychologists call this emotional dumping, and research shows it can be draining for the person on the receiving end.

A study published in Health Psychology found that excessive exposure to others’ stress can negatively impact mental health, increasing anxiety and emotional exhaustion.

Basically, constantly absorbing someone else’s negativity takes a toll on your own well-being.

Supporting friends is important, but relationships should be balanced. If someone only seeks you out as their personal therapist—but never returns the favor—it might be time to set some boundaries.

5) The opportunist

This is the person who only reaches out when they see a chance to benefit from your skills, connections, or success.

I once had an old acquaintance who suddenly started messaging me out of nowhere.

At first, I thought he genuinely wanted to reconnect—but it didn’t take long to realize what was really going on. He had just started a business and wanted me to promote it to my audience.

At first, I helped him out, thinking it was just a small favor. But then the requests kept coming—introductions to people I knew, free advice, more promotion. And the moment I stopped saying yes? He disappeared again.

Opportunists aren’t interested in real friendships. They see relationships as transactions, only sticking around as long as they’re getting something out of it.

And according to social exchange theory in psychology, people like this weigh relationships in terms of cost and benefit—when the benefits disappear, so do they.

If someone only contacts you when they need something but never invests in the relationship itself, ask yourself: are they really a friend, or just using you as a stepping stone?

6) The guilt tripper

Some people don’t just ask for favors—they make you feel bad if you don’t give them what they want.

I had a relative who was a master at this. Every time they needed something—money, help moving, a ride somewhere—they wouldn’t just ask.

Instead, they’d say things like, “I guess I just can’t rely on anyone these days,” or “If you really cared about family, you’d help me out.”

At first, I fell for it. I’d agree to things I didn’t want to do just to avoid feeling guilty. But over time, I realized what was happening: they weren’t asking for help, they were manipulating me into saying yes.

Psychologist Albert Ellis once said, “Stop shoulding on yourself.”

He believed that people often feel unnecessary guilt because they tell themselves they should do certain things—even when those things aren’t fair or reasonable.

Guilt trippers know this and use it to their advantage. They make you feel like saying no is a betrayal when, in reality, setting boundaries is healthy.

If someone constantly makes you feel bad for not giving them what they want, it’s a sign that the relationship is built on manipulation—not mutual respect.

7) The overly generous giver

This one might surprise you. After all, how could someone who gives too much be a person who only shows up when they need something?

But here’s the catch: some people give not because they’re selfless, but because they expect something in return.

I once had a coworker who was always offering favors—bringing me coffee, covering small tasks, giving unsolicited help. At first, I thought he was just being nice.

But then I started noticing a pattern. Every time he did something for me, a request would soon follow: “Hey, can you cover my shift?” or “I really need a ride this weekend.”

Psychologists call this instrumental giving—when generosity is used as a tool to create obligation rather than kindness. Research even suggests that some people give strategically, expecting to cash in on their “good deeds” later.

So how do you tell the difference between genuine generosity and manipulative giving?

Pay attention to how they react when you say no. A true giver won’t hold their past favors over you—but someone who’s only giving to get something in return will make you feel guilty for not “repaying” them.

A practical tip? The next time someone does something nice for you, thank them warmly—but don’t feel obligated to return the favor right away. If they keep helping without expecting anything back, they’re likely genuine.

But if they start dropping hints or making demands? You’ll know their generosity came with strings attached.

How to protect your time and energy

Recognizing these types of people is the first step—but what do you do about them?

Here’s what I’ve learned:

• Set boundaries. You’re allowed to say no without feeling guilty. A real friend will respect that.
• Pay attention to patterns. If someone only reaches out when they need something, believe their actions.
• Invest in mutual relationships. Spend your time on people who give as much as they take.

At the end of the day, your energy is valuable. Protect it by surrounding yourself with people who genuinely care—not just those who show up when it’s convenient for them.