For years, I wondered how to truly connect with my partner and foster a resilient, enduring relationship.

You know what I’m talking about:

– Genuine communication
– Mutual understanding
– Respect and trust
– A shared vision of the future

Yet, somehow, despite my best efforts, something always seemed missing. My relationships never quite hit that sweet spot of harmony and shared growth.

That was until I delved into the fascinating world of psychology.

Until a few years ago, I was just like any other person, fumbling my way through relationships, trying to figure out the right things to say and do.

But then I stumbled upon seven key phrases backed by psychological research that changed everything for me.

These insightful phrases have since become my secret weapon for maintaining an enriching relationship with my partner.

In this article, I’ll be sharing these seven golden nuggets with you.

They’re simple, they’re profound, and they could very well be the missing piece in your relationship puzzle.

So buckle up. Let’s dive into these seven things you should say to your partner today if you want a solid future together.

1) Expressing gratitude

One of the most transformative psychological insights I discovered was the power of expressing gratitude.

Now, it’s not about flinging around empty thank-you. Genuine gratitude is about acknowledging and appreciating your partner’s actions, big or small.

Psychology tells us that expressing gratitude can significantly boost relationship satisfaction. It makes your partner feel valued and reinforces positive behaviour.

I started incorporating this into my daily interactions with my partner. Instead of taking things for granted, I began expressing appreciation for her efforts.

Whether it was something as simple as making coffee in the morning or being there for me during a tough day, I made sure to say thank you.

And boy, did I see a change. It wasn’t just about her feeling appreciated; it also made me more conscious of the love and effort she put into our relationship.

If you’re looking to build a solid future with your partner, try it out. Start by expressing gratitude for one thing each day.

It might feel awkward initially, but once it becomes a habit, you will notice the positive shift in your relationship dynamic.

2) Open and honest communication

The second point is all about communication. We’ve all heard it before, right?

But, let me tell you, truly understanding and practicing honest and open communication can make a world of difference.

I remember a particular incident in my relationship where I was struggling with work stress. Instead of sharing my feelings with my partner, I bottled them up, which only led to frustration and unnecessary arguments.

It was then I stumbled upon a quote by renowned psychologist Dr. John Gottman: “A lasting relationship results from a couple’s ability to resolve the conflicts that are inevitable in any relationship.”

This was my wake-up call. I realized that by not communicating, I was not only hurting myself but also damaging my relationship. So, I decided to change.

I started by sharing about my day, my challenges at work, and how they made me feel. I encouraged my partner to do the same.

The result was astounding. We felt more connected, and our understanding of each other deepened.

If you want a solid future with your partner, create a safe space for open dialogue. It may feel uncomfortable initially, but it fosters trust and paves the way for deeper intimacy.

As simple as it sounds, talking honestly about your feelings can be a powerful tool for relationship-building.

3) Saying “I’m sorry”

The third thing to say, which can be surprisingly challenging for many of us, is “I’m sorry.”

Apologizing when you’re wrong doesn’t make you weak; on the contrary, it shows strength, maturity, and consideration for your partner’s feelings.

I learned this the hard way. There was a time when I stubbornly refused to apologize, even when I knew I was wrong. I thought it would make me look weak.

But all it did was create resentment and tension between my partner and me.

One day, after a particularly heated argument, I took a step back and realized how much damage my ego was causing. It wasn’t worth it.

So, I swallowed my pride and said those two words: “I’m sorry.” 

The effect was immediate. The tension eased, and we could talk calmly and resolve our issue. 

Most importantly, it showed her that I valued our relationship more than my ego.

From then on, apologizing became easier. Every time I mess up, I own it and say I’m sorry. It’s not just about the words; it’s about acknowledging your mistakes and making an effort to do better.

If you want a solid future with your partner, don’t let your ego stand in the way of saying “I’m sorry.” It can bridge gaps, repair harm, and reinforce your commitment to each other.

4) Affirming your love

Affirming your love for your partner might seem like a no-brainer, but it’s amazing how often we forget to do this, especially in long-term relationships.

A study conducted by the University of Georgia found that expressions of affection were directly linked with relationship satisfaction.

The study emphasized the power of saying “I love you” and showing physical affection in maintaining a happy relationship.

Remembering this, I started making a conscious effort to regularly express my love to my partner, not just through words, but also through small actions.

Whether it was leaving a sweet note for her or simply holding her hand while watching TV, I made sure she knew how much I loved her.

This wasn’t just about romantic gestures; it was about making her feel loved and secure in our relationship.

And the results were incredible. Our bond strengthened, and we felt more connected than ever.

So, if you’re aiming for a solid future with your partner, don’t underestimate the power of regularly affirming your love.

It is indeed one of the simplest yet most profound ways to foster a happy and lasting relationship.

Source: “Expressions of Affection Can Mediate the Relationship Between Perceived Marital Conflict and Marital Satisfaction” – Journal of Family Psychology, 2014.

5) Sharing your dreams

The fifth thing to say to your partner revolves around sharing your dreams and aspirations.

I discovered that opening up about my hopes, dreams, and goals created a deeper connection with my partner.

It wasn’t just about sharing what I wanted to achieve but also about letting her into my world, making her a part of my journey.

One day, I shared my dream of starting my own business. I was nervous, but her enthusiastic response and willingness to support me in any way possible was a pleasant surprise.

Sharing your dreams does two things. Firstly, it brings you closer as you share a part of your inner world. Secondly, it helps align your future goals, which is crucial for a solid future together.

So, don’t shy away from discussing your dreams with your partner. It may lead to some fascinating conversations and open doors to a shared future you both are excited about.

6) Showing empathy

The sixth point is about empathy, the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.

There was a time in my relationship when I would often get into arguments without really understanding my partner’s perspective.

I was so caught up in how I felt that I didn’t stop to consider her feelings.

It was a quote from Carl Rogers, one of the most influential psychologists of the 20th century, that changed everything for me. He said, “When someone really hears you without passing judgement on you, without trying to take responsibility for you, without trying to mold you, it feels damn good!”

That’s when it hit me. Empathy was what I was missing. I needed to really listen and understand my partner’s perspective without rushing to fix things or impose my views.

I started consciously practicing empathy in our interactions. I listened more, tried to understand her viewpoint, and validated her feelings.

This small change had a huge impact on our relationship. Our arguments reduced, our communication improved, and we felt more connected.

So, if you want a solid future with your partner, make an effort to show empathy.

Truly listen when they speak and validate their feelings. It will make them feel heard and valued, strengthening your bond.

7) Saying nothing at all

Now, this might seem counterintuitive, but sometimes the best thing to say to your partner is…nothing at all.

There are moments when your partner might just need a listening ear rather than advice or reassurances. I learned this the hard way when my attempts to ‘fix’ problems or reassure my partner only ended up frustrating her further.

I realized that sometimes, she didn’t need solutions or comforting words. She just needed me to be there, to listen and understand.

So, I started practicing silence when it was needed. I listened more and spoke less.

And it made a world of difference. It allowed my partner to express her feelings without interruption and made her feel heard and understood.

Here’s a practical tip: The next time your partner seems upset or stressed, try just listening without interrupting or offering advice.

Nod, show understanding through your facial expressions, and let them know you’re there for them through your actions rather than words.

Being silent when it’s needed can be a powerful way of showing your partner that you’re there for them, solidifying your bond for a stronger future together.

Conclusion

Building a solid future with your partner isn’t always about grand gestures or earth-shattering declarations.

Often, it’s about the little things: expressing gratitude, communicating openly, apologizing when you’re wrong, affirming your love, sharing your dreams, showing empathy, and sometimes, just listening.

Remember, the aim is to foster understanding, trust, and intimacy. And these seven phrases can help you do just that.

So, start today. Choose one point from this list and make it a part of your daily interactions with your partner. Small steps can lead to big changes.

And before you know it, you might find yourself in the strong, fulfilling relationship you’ve always wanted.