7 things people only realize about their parents once they become parents themselves

Eliza Hartley by Eliza Hartley | April 16, 2025, 3:55 pm

Becoming a parent is a game-changer. It’s like suddenly being thrown into the deep end with no swimming lessons.

It’s in these moments of sleep-deprived chaos and unending diaper changes that we start to see our own parents in a new light. Suddenly, we’re hit with realizations about them we never had before.

In this article, I’ll be sharing seven things people only realize about their parents once they themselves step into the world of parenthood.

These insights might just change the way you see your parents, and even the way you approach your own parenting journey. And while my perspective might not be as polished as a professionally edited book, I hope it’ll strike a chord with you in its raw, relatable honesty.

1) The sheer weight of responsibility

Once you become a parent, it hits you – the weight of responsibility that has been thrust upon your shoulders. You’re suddenly in charge of a tiny, vulnerable human being who relies on you for everything.

This realization can come as quite a shock. And it’s during these times that we begin to truly comprehend the enormous responsibility our own parents shouldered when they were raising us.

We begin to appreciate how they cared for us, nurtured us and protected us, often at the cost of their own comfort and convenience.

We start to understand that every decision they made was with our best interests at heart, even if we didn’t see it at the time.

Becoming a parent helps us see our parents in a new light, revealing aspects of their lives and sacrifices that we were oblivious to before. It’s like flipping open a book and suddenly understanding the depth and complexity of the story that was being told.

2) Patience is truly a virtue

I never knew how patient my parents were until I became a parent myself.

In my house growing up, things were always calm. Sure, there were the occasional outbursts, the sibling squabbles and teenage tantrums, but my parents always seemed to handle it with a level of patience that seemed almost superhuman to me.

Fast forward to my own parenting journey. I remember one particular day when my toddler was having a particularly rough time. There were tears, thrown toys, and an inexplicable refusal to eat anything but blueberries.

In that moment, I felt my patience wearing thin. I was tired, frustrated, and couldn’t understand why my child was acting this way.

But then I remembered my own parents. How they handled all our childhood antics with grace and patience. And I realized that this is what they had been dealing with all along.

This was the patience they had shown me and my siblings time and time again.

It was a humbling realization, one that made me appreciate them even more. I realized then that patience isn’t just about tolerating difficult behavior – it’s about understanding, empathy, and unconditional love. And those are lessons I learned from my own parents.

3) The power of a parent’s influence

As parents, we often underestimate our influence on our children. But research shows that parents are the most influential role models in a child’s life. Our attitudes, behaviors, and values are often mirrored by our children, sometimes even subconsciously.

This becomes glaringly apparent when you become a parent yourself. You might catch yourself repeating phrases your parents used or adopting their parenting style without even realizing it.

It’s during these moments that you start to appreciate the powerful influence your own parents had on you. Their actions and words shaped you in more ways than you ever realized.

Now, as a parent, you hold that same power and responsibility to shape the life of your own child. This realization can be both daunting and inspiring. But most importantly, it gives you a newfound respect for your parents and the influential role they played in your life.

4) The unconditional love

Before you become a parent, it’s easy to take your parents’ love for granted. But once you have a child of your own, you begin to understand the depth and intensity of that love.

From the moment you hold your child for the first time, you experience a rush of love so powerful, it’s almost overwhelming. And suddenly, you realize this is how your parents must have felt about you.

This kind of love is selfless and unwavering. It’s the kind of love that keeps you up at night worrying about a fever, the kind that makes the smallest giggle sound like the most beautiful melody.

When we become parents, we finally understand this profound, unconditional love our parents had for us. And with this realization comes a new level of appreciation and gratitude for everything they did out of love for us.

5) The sacrifice is real

I remember when I was a child, my mother would always be the last one to sit down to eat dinner. She would make sure everyone else had what they needed before she even thought about herself.

Once I became a parent, the meaning behind that simple act hit me hard. It was a symbol of the countless sacrifices she made for us, often without us even realizing it.

Parenting involves countless sacrifices – from sleep and personal time to career ambitions and even aspects of your social life.

Now, as I find myself making similar sacrifices for my own children, I can’t help but look back with an immense sense of gratitude for all the sacrifices my parents made for me.

Their selflessness and dedication take on a whole new depth of meaning once you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.

6) Realizing they were learning too

As children, we often see our parents as invincible and all-knowing. But when you become a parent yourself, you realize that they were learning on the job, just like you are.

Parenting doesn’t come with a manual. It’s a journey of trial and error, of learning from mistakes and growing alongside your child.

Understanding this makes you appreciate your parents’ efforts even more. You realize they were navigating the same uncertainties and challenges that you’re facing now.

This realization can change your perspective and foster a deeper understanding and empathy for your parents. It’s a humbling reminder that they were doing their best, just as you are doing now.

7) Appreciation for the little things

Becoming a parent makes you appreciate the little things your parents did for you. Those packed lunches, bedtime stories, and comforting hugs suddenly hold a lot more significance.

You realize that every small act was a demonstration of their love and commitment. Every effort was a testament to their dedication to providing you with a happy and nurturing environment.

These are the same little things you now find yourself doing for your own children. And each one is a reminder of the countless acts of love your parents bestowed upon you.

The realization of this profound love and dedication can be overwhelming. But it’s perhaps one of the most beautiful aspects of becoming a parent yourself – the ability to fully appreciate the love and effort your parents put into raising you.

The essence of parenthood

At the heart of it all, parenthood is a journey of self-discovery and an unfolding realization of what our own parents went through. It’s a journey filled with highs and lows, moments of joy and times of challenge.

Becoming a parent gives us a new lens to look back at our own upbringing. It allows us to appreciate the efforts, sacrifices, and unconditional love that our parents bestowed upon us.

As we navigate through this journey, we may find ourselves echoing their words, mirroring their actions, and understanding their choices. We begin to see the wisdom in their advice, the love in their discipline, and the dedication in their sacrifices.

This profound understanding doesn’t just alter our perspective; it deepens our bond with our parents and enriches our own experience of parenthood.

In the end, we realize that being a parent is not just about raising children; it’s about growing ourselves. It’s about acknowledging the past, cherishing the present, and shaping the future.

And in this beautiful process, we discover a newfound respect for our parents and an understanding of their profound influence on our lives.