8 things children of a good mother will always remember about their childhood, according to psychology

Olivia Reid by Olivia Reid | March 3, 2025, 6:03 pm

Childhood memories shape who we become. And while we might not remember everything, some moments stay with us forever.

A good mother creates a childhood filled with love, security, and lessons that last a lifetime.

Psychology tells us that certain experiences—big or small—leave a deep imprint on a child’s mind. These are the moments we carry into adulthood, shaping how we see the world and ourselves.

From the way she made us feel safe to the little things she did every day, here are eight things children of a good mother will always remember about their childhood.

1) Feeling safe and loved

One of the strongest memories a child can carry into adulthood is the feeling of being safe and unconditionally loved.

Psychologist Erik Erikson, known for his theory on psychosocial development, believed that a child’s first stage of emotional growth is all about trust. He wrote, “If we fail to form basic trust, the world seems unreliable.”

A good mother provides that foundation—offering comfort, security, and a sense of belonging that stays with her child for life.

It’s in the way she hugged them after a bad dream, reassured them when they were scared, or simply made home feel like the safest place in the world.

These early experiences shape how children see relationships and the world around them, giving them the confidence to explore life knowing they are deeply loved.

2) The little traditions

Some of my favorite childhood memories aren’t the big events, but the small traditions my mom created—things that seemed ordinary at the time but now feel priceless.

Every Sunday morning, she would make pancakes, always in the shape of whatever animal I was obsessed with that week. It didn’t matter how messy or imperfect they turned out—I loved them.

Looking back, it wasn’t really about the pancakes. It was about knowing that, no matter what, there was something special to look forward to.

Psychologist Donald Winnicott, who studied child development, once said, “It is in playing and only in playing that the individual child or adult is able to be creative and to use the whole personality.”

Those little traditions—whether it’s bedtime stories, inside jokes, or a special way of celebrating birthdays—create a sense of stability and joy. They remind a child that they are cared for, not just in big ways, but in everyday moments too.

3) The times she apologized

Mothers aren’t perfect. No one is. And one of the most powerful things a child remembers isn’t just the love or the warmth—it’s the moments when she got it wrong and owned up to it.

I still remember a time when my mom snapped at me over something small. I don’t even recall what I did, but I do remember the look on her face afterward.

A few minutes later, she sat down next to me, took a deep breath, and said, “I’m sorry. That wasn’t fair to you.” She didn’t make excuses. She didn’t brush it off. She just apologized.

Psychologist Carl Rogers, known for his work in humanistic psychology, once said, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”

A mother who can admit when she’s wrong teaches her child one of the most valuable lessons in life—that mistakes don’t define us, but how we handle them does.

Children don’t need a perfect mother. They need a real one—someone who shows them that taking responsibility isn’t weakness; it’s strength. And that’s something they’ll carry with them forever.

4) How she made the hard times easier

Life isn’t always easy, even for kids. There are scraped knees, bad days at school, disappointments, and heartbreaks that feel like the end of the world. But a good mother has a way of making even the hardest moments feel a little more bearable.

I remember failing a big test once. I was devastated, convinced I wasn’t smart enough.

That night, my mom sat with me at the kitchen table, helping me figure out what went wrong. But more than that, she reminded me that failure wasn’t final. “This grade doesn’t define you,” she said. “What you do next does.”

Psychologist Albert Bandura, who developed social learning theory, believed that our confidence comes from experiencing small successes and having people who encourage us.

He wrote, “People who believe they have the power to exercise some measure of control over their lives are healthier, more effective, and more successful.” A good mother teaches her child resilience—not by shielding them from failure, but by showing them how to face it and move forward.

Looking back, it’s not just the struggles I remember—it’s how she helped me through them.

5) The times she let me struggle

It sounds strange, but some of the most important moments from childhood aren’t when my mom stepped in to help—but when she didn’t.

I remember trying to tie my shoes for the first time. I was frustrated, fumbling with the laces, ready to give up. My mom could have easily stepped in and done it for me, but she didn’t.

Instead, she sat nearby and said, “You’ve got this. Try again.” It took what felt like forever, but when I finally got it right, the pride I felt was mine to own.

Psychologist Jean Piaget, known for his work on child development, believed that children learn best through active discovery. He wrote, “Every time we teach a child something, we keep him from inventing it himself.”

A good mother knows that stepping back is sometimes the greatest gift she can give—because struggling isn’t just about frustration; it’s about growth.

Looking back, I don’t just remember the times she helped me—I remember the times she believed I could help myself. And that belief shaped me more than anything else.

6) The way she spoke to me

The words a mother says to her child don’t just disappear—they stay, shaping the way that child learns to speak to themselves.

I didn’t realize it at the time, but the way my mom talked to me became the voice in my head. When I made mistakes, she didn’t say, “You’re so careless.” She said, “Everyone slips up—what can you learn from this?”

When I struggled with something new, she didn’t say, “You’re not good at that.” She said, “You’re still learning.”

Psychologist Lev Vygotsky, who studied how children develop through social interaction, once said, “Through others, we become ourselves.”

The way a mother speaks to her child becomes the foundation for their inner dialogue—the voice that will either encourage them or hold them back.

A good mother chooses her words carefully, knowing that long after childhood ends, her voice will still echo in her child’s mind.

7) The sacrifices she made

As a kid, I didn’t always notice the sacrifices my mom made. But looking back, I see them everywhere.

I see them in the way she always gave me the last slice of cake, even though I never thought to ask if she wanted it.

I see them in the late nights she stayed up helping me with school projects, even when she had work early the next morning.

I see them in the way she put my needs before her own, not because she had to, but because she wanted to.

Psychologist Erik Erikson, who studied human development, believed that true fulfillment comes from caring for others.

He wrote, “Life doesn’t make any sense without interdependence. We need each other, and the sooner we learn that, the better for us all.”

A good mother understands this instinctively—she gives not for recognition, but because love, at its core, is selfless.

As a child, I didn’t always see what she gave up. As an adult, I realize that those quiet sacrifices were some of her loudest expressions of love.

8) The moments she wasn’t okay

Mothers are often seen as unshakable—as if they have to be strong all the time.

But some of the most powerful memories I have of my mom aren’t just the times she held everything together, but the moments when she didn’t.

I remember walking in on her crying once. I must have been around ten. She wiped her tears quickly and forced a smile, but I knew something was wrong.

At the time, it scared me—moms aren’t supposed to cry, right?

But now, I realize how important that moment was. It showed me that even the strongest people have hard days. And more importantly, it showed me that emotions aren’t something to hide or be ashamed of.

Psychologist Brené Brown, who studies vulnerability and human connection, said, “Imperfections are not inadequacies; they are reminders that we’re all in this together.”

A good mother doesn’t just teach strength—she teaches that real strength includes allowing yourself to feel, to struggle, and to ask for help when you need it.

Looking back, I don’t remember thinking less of her in that moment. If anything, I admired her more. Because she showed me that being human is nothing to apologize for.