There’s a vast gulf between understanding someone’s narcissistic tendencies and dealing with them head-on.

Cutting off contact is a difficult decision, but sometimes it’s the necessary and healthy choice to make. But what happens when you finally shut that door?

Well, according to psychology, narcissists don’t exactly take it lying down. They have their own ways of reacting, and it’s important to know what to expect.

This is about preparing yourself, not manipulating the situation. It’s about making informed decisions, just like editing a piece of writing – knowing what to cut, what to keep, and expecting certain reactions based on your choices.

So here are the 7 things a narcissist will do when you finally cut off contact, according to psychology. Let’s dive in and gain some insights together.

1) They’ll try to reconnect

Ah, the art of reconnection. It’s a card often played by narcissists when they sense they’re losing their grip on you.

Cutting off contact can feel like a breath of fresh air, but don’t be surprised if the narcissist in your life tries to sneak back in. Just like an author revising a draft, they might attempt to rewrite the narrative, hoping to sway you back into their influence.

Remember that their approach is not based on your needs or comfort, but theirs. And just as an author would reject a revision that doesn’t enhance the story, you have the power to reject their attempts at reconnection if it doesn’t enhance your well-being.

But stay firm in your decision. You’ve chosen this path for a reason.

2) They’ll try to make you feel guilty

Now, here’s a tactic I’ve personally experienced. Narcissists have a knack for guilt-tripping. It’s like a well-versed editor who knows just how to tweak the author’s emotions to get them to make certain changes.

I remember when I severed ties with a narcissistic friend. Almost immediately, messages flooded in about how I was abandoning them in their time of need, how I was being selfish. The guilt was overwhelming.

But then I remembered a quote from renowned psychologist Abraham Maslow: “In any given moment we have two options: to step forward into growth or step back into safety.”

And I realized, cutting off was me stepping forward into growth, and I shouldn’t let guilt pull me back into a cycle of toxicity.

So when the guilt trip comes – and believe me, it will – remember that you’re choosing growth over safety. Be prepared for it and don’t let it sway your decision.

3) They’ll portray themselves as the victim

Ever encountered someone who’s always the victim, no matter what the circumstance? That’s a narcissist’s forte.

They are experts at playing the victim card, often portraying themselves as misunderstood or unfairly treated. It’s their way of manipulating the situation, trying to plant seeds of doubt in your decision to cut off contact.

A narcissist knows this all too well. They may use your past feelings for them as a tool to inflict suffering and guilt.

But remember, just like editing a manuscript, cutting off contact often involves making tough decisions for the greater good. It might hurt in the moment, but it leads to a healthier emotional state in the long run.

4) They’ll engage in smear campaigns

A narcissist’s ego doesn’t take kindly to being disregarded. And when that happens, they might resort to discrediting you amongst your shared social circles. This is widely known as a smear campaign.

A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that individuals with narcissistic tendencies are more likely to engage in aggressive retaliation when they feel their ego has been threatened.

This retaliation often comes in the form of spreading false or damaging information about the perceived threat – in this case, you.

The researchers equated this behavior to a wounded animal lashing out, desperate to regain control and power. It’s a grim reality, but knowing this can help you prepare for any potential fallout and remain steadfast in your decision.

Their actions are a reflection of their character, not yours. Like proofreading a document, it’s important to analyze the facts and disregard the unfounded accusations.

5) They’ll try to provoke you

Ever noticed how some people just know how to push your buttons? In my experience, narcissists are masters of this. They know exactly what to say or do to elicit a reaction from you.

This is because they thrive on drama and conflict. It’s their way of maintaining control and asserting dominance, even when you’ve decided to cut off contact.

When a narcissist tries to provoke you, see it as a challenge to be mastered. Stay calm, stay composed, and remember, your peace of mind is more important than their need for control.

Don’t let their provocations pull you back into their web of manipulation. Remember why you chose this path and stay firm in your decision.

6) They’ll act like nothing happened

This one might seem counterintuitive. After all, we’ve discussed how narcissists can lash out and try to manipulate the situation. But sometimes, they might act as though nothing happened at all.

In their world, the narrative always favours them. So, they may choose to ignore your decision to cut off contact entirely, carrying on as if everything is normal. It’s another manipulative tactic designed to make you question your decisions.

Famed psychologist B.F. Skinner once said, “The consequences of an act affect the probability of it occurring again.” In this context, a narcissist ignoring your decision is their way of avoiding the consequence – losing control over you.

Recognize this for what it is – another attempt at manipulation. Stay strong in your decision and remember: you’re doing this for your well-being.

7) They’ll move on quickly

Finally, narcissists are known for their ability to move on quickly. It may seem hurtful, but remember, it’s not about you. It’s about them seeking a new source of narcissistic supply.

As psychologist Leon F. Seltzer once said, “Narcissists are primarily motivated by self-enhancement and dominance and will sacrifice relationships to serve their self-interest.”

When they move on swiftly, remind yourself that it’s not a reflection of your worth, but rather a reflection of their character.

Stand firm in your decision and focus on your healing.

Final thoughts

Navigating the turbulent waters of a relationship with a narcissist can be a daunting journey. But remember, cutting off contact is not an act of malice; it’s an act of self-preservation.

Just like an editor making necessary changes to a manuscript, you’re making necessary changes to your life story. It may be difficult and, at times, uncomfortable, but it’s essential for your well-being.

Recognizing these potential reactions from a narcissist can equip you with the foresight to stay firm in your decision and focus on your healing journey.

Every narrative has its twists and turns, but it’s the author who holds the pen. You have the power to decide how your story unfolds.

Take a moment to reflect on that as we close this chapter.