6 subtle signs you’re undervaluing yourself without realizing it, according to psychology

Olivia Reid by Olivia Reid | March 18, 2025, 5:04 pm

There’s a fine line between humility and self-deprecation.

Simply put, undervaluing yourself is like walking around with a permanent discount tag. You’re constantly selling yourself short, unaware of your true worth.

According to psychology, there are subtle signs that you’re undervaluing yourself without even realizing it.

In this piece, we’ll explore these often overlooked clues. They’re like silent alarm bells, hinting that it’s time for some serious self-reflection and adjustment.

By recognizing and addressing these signs, you can start giving yourself the credit you deserve. Let’s dive in and learn more about these 6 subtle signs you’re undervaluing yourself without realizing it.

1) You’re the master of self-deprecation

Who doesn’t love a good joke? We all do. Especially when it’s about ourselves, right? There’s no harm in a little self-deprecation to lighten the mood.

But what if you’re always the butt of your own jokes? What if you’re constantly putting yourself down in front of others?

It’s one thing to have a sense of humor, but it’s another to use it as a shield or a tool to downplay your worth.

As Carl Jung, one of the most influential psychologists of the 20th century, once said, “The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely.”

If your jokes are more about hiding your insecurities than showcasing your wit, it might be time to reevaluate how you perceive yourself. Recognize your worth and embrace it without fear or doubt.

2) You’re always saying “sorry”

I remember a time when I’d start every sentence with an apology. “Sorry, but I think…” or “I’m sorry, can I just say…”. It was as if I was apologizing for having an opinion, for taking up space, for simply existing.

If you find yourself constantly apologizing even when it’s unnecessary, it might be a sign that you’re undervaluing yourself. It’s as if you feel the need to apologize for asserting yourself or taking up space.

Famed psychologist Dr. Brené Brown once said, “Belonging starts with self-acceptance. Your level of belonging, in fact, can never be greater than your level of self-acceptance.”

This struck a chord with me and made me realize the importance of self-assertion without unnecessary apologies. Now, I’m more mindful of my constant apologies and working towards asserting myself confidently without feeling guilty.

3) You’re settling for less

Do you often find yourself settling for less than you deserve? Whether it’s in relationships, careers, or personal goals, if you’re accepting less than you’re worth, it might be a sign that you’re undervaluing yourself.

Being raw and honest here, it’s like walking into a store knowing you have a hundred dollars to spend, but choosing to buy only ten dollars worth of items. You’re not utilizing your full potential. You’re holding back.

Albert Einstein once said, “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

This quote speaks volumes about recognizing your own self-worth. Don’t settle for less because of fear or self-doubt. You are more than capable of achieving greatness. Value yourself and don’t be afraid to demand what you deserve.

4) You struggle with accepting compliments

Here’s a scenario to ponder: someone gives you a compliment, and instead of saying a simple ‘thank you’, you deflect it or downplay your accomplishment. Sounds familiar? This could be a sign that you’re undervaluing yourself.

A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that people with low self-esteem have a tendency to dismiss compliments, seeing them as flattery or insincere.

They struggle to accept positive feedback, often viewing it as a threat rather than a compliment.

If you find yourself dismissing or downplaying compliments, it might be time for some introspection.

Embrace the positive feedback and use it as a stepping stone towards self-improvement and self-acceptance. Remember, accepting a compliment graciously is an act of self-respect.

5) You always put others first

This reminds me of a time when I’d always put other people’s needs before mine. Whether it was giving up my weekend to help a friend move or canceling personal plans to accommodate others, I’d always put myself last.

While it’s commendable to be generous and helpful, constantly prioritizing others over yourself could be a sign that you’re undervaluing your own needs and time.

As renowned psychologist Abraham Maslow said, “It isn’t normal to know what we want. It is a rare and difficult psychological achievement.”

This quote helped me realize that understanding and prioritizing my own needs is not selfish; it’s a necessary step towards self-realization and growth. Today, I strive for balance – helping others while ensuring I also take care of myself.

6) You’re a perfectionist

This might sound counterintuitive. After all, isn’t perfectionism a sign of high standards?

Not necessarily. If you’re constantly chasing perfection, never satisfied with anything less, it might mean you’re undervaluing your own efforts and achievements.

Psychologist Harriet Braiker put it quite brilliantly: “Striving for excellence motivates you; striving for perfection is demoralizing.”

Perfectionism can often lead to a vicious cycle of high expectations, self-criticism, and stress.

Remember, it’s okay to strive for improvement but also crucial to celebrate your progress and achievements, however small they may be.

Wrapping up

Understanding our self-worth is like navigating through a maze. It’s complex, it’s challenging, but with each sign we uncover, we’re one step closer to finding our way out.

These six signs are a guide, a compass pointing towards the truth of how we may be undervaluing ourselves without even realizing it. They are the silent whispers, reminding us to acknowledge our worth and embrace our potential.

As we journey on this path of self-discovery, let’s remember to be kind to ourselves. Let’s celebrate our achievements, however small, and let’s strive not for perfection, but for progress.

Every step we take towards recognizing our self-worth is a step towards a happier, more fulfilled life. It’s not about proving ourselves to others; it’s about accepting ourselves for who we truly are.

So here’s to us, finding our way through the maze, one sign at a time.