7 subtle signs someone is struggling financially (but won’t admit it)

Mia Zhang by Mia Zhang | January 16, 2025, 8:15 pm

The difference between noticing and understanding can often be as subtle as a whisper. Especially when it comes to someone struggling financially who refuses to admit it.

The signs may not be glaringly obvious, like a sudden change in lifestyle or constant complaining about bills. But look a little closer, and you’ll see the signs are there.

Identifying these signals is more than just being nosy. It’s about being there for a friend in need, even when they’re too proud to ask for help.

Here are some less obvious indicators that someone might be having money troubles. This isn’t about prying into someone’s finances, but rather knowing when to extend a helping hand.

And remember, the clues might be subtle, but your support doesn’t have to be.

1) They dodge the bill

We’ve all been there. A group dinner, a shared cab ride, or a joint gift for a friend. When the time comes to split the bill, there’s that one person who artfully avoids their share.

It’s not about being stingy or forgetful. When someone continuously skirts around paying their part, this might be a sign that they’re struggling financially but don’t want to admit it.

It could be as subtle as forgetting their wallet, conveniently stepping out before the bill arrives, or even enthusiastically offering to calculate everyone’s share while mysteriously excluding their own.

Remember, this isn’t about blaming or shaming. It’s about recognizing a potential cry for help hidden behind an awkward chuckle or an embarrassed grin. If you notice this pattern repeating, it might be time to check in on your friend’s wellbeing.

2) They’ve become a homebody

I had this friend, always up for a night out, always the one suggesting new restaurants or shows. Then, all of a sudden, they became a hermit. They started declining invites, suggesting potlucks at home instead of dinners out, or movie nights in instead of trips to the cinema.

At first, I thought they were just tired or perhaps going through a tough time. But as this behavior continued, I realized this wasn’t about being anti-social. It was about the cost associated with socializing.

Going out often implies spending money – sometimes more than we’d like to admit. So when someone who once loved being out and about suddenly becomes a homebody, it may be an indicator that they’re tightening their purse strings.

In my friend’s case, they were indeed going through financial struggles but didn’t want to admit it outright. It took some time and gentle prodding before they opened up about their situation.

3) They’re overly concerned with price tags

It’s not unusual to check the price of something before making a purchase. We all do it. But when someone starts to obsess over the cost of relatively inexpensive items, it could be a sign of financial distress.

Whether it’s questioning the price of a cup of coffee or spending an inordinate amount of time comparing prices at the grocery store, this behavior might indicate that each penny holds more weight than it used to.

Interestingly, a study conducted by the University of Cambridge found that people under financial strain often experience a higher level of stress when faced with making decisions about spending money, no matter how small the amount.

This heightened sensitivity to cost could be a subtle sign that someone is struggling financially but won’t admit it.

4) Their wardrobe never changes

Fashion isn’t everyone’s priority, and some people prefer a minimalist approach to their wardrobe. However, if you notice that someone’s clothing never seems to change, it might be more than just a style choice.

Updating one’s wardrobe, even with just the occasional new item, is a part of life for most of us. If someone has stopped doing this altogether, it could be because they’re cutting back on non-essential expenses.

While it’s easy to dismiss this as an unimportant detail, remember that small changes can often signal larger issues.

If a normally fashion-conscious friend has stopped showing off new purchases or has been recycling the same outfits for months, they might be struggling financially but are too proud or embarrassed to say so.

5) They’ve cut out small luxuries

I’ve always been a coffee shop enthusiast. There’s something about the smell of freshly ground beans and the hum of conversation that makes me feel at home. But there was a period when I stopped going altogether.

The reason wasn’t that I stopped loving coffee or the ambiance of my favorite café. It was a subtle sign of my own financial struggle that I wasn’t ready to admit.

For me, cutting out small luxuries like my daily latte was an early indicator that I was trying to tighten my belt. The same might be true for someone you know.

If they suddenly stop indulging in small pleasures they used to enjoy, like weekly takeout meals, monthly manicures, or even their morning coffee run, it could be a sign that they’re trying to save money wherever they can because they’re financially stretched.

6) They avoid money conversations

Money can be a tricky topic to navigate. Some people are more private about their finances than others. However, if someone who is usually open starts avoiding money-related conversations, it might signal a problem.

This avoidance can manifest in different ways. They might suddenly change the subject when finances come up, or they might show visible discomfort or even irritation when money matters are discussed.

Avoidance is a common coping mechanism when dealing with stressful situations. If you notice this behavior in someone, it might be a subtle sign they’re dealing with financial issues but are unwilling or unable to admit it.

7) They’re constantly stressed or distracted

Financial struggles don’t just impact people’s wallets, they can take a serious toll on their mental health too. If someone is constantly stressed, anxious, or distracted, it could be due to financial worries.

This might manifest as unexplained irritability, lack of concentration, or even sleepless nights. Money worries can consume thoughts, leaving little room for anything else.

If you notice this change in someone’s behavior, remember to approach the situation with sensitivity and support. Financial struggles can be deeply personal and stressful, and a non-judgemental listening ear can make a world of difference.

Final thought: It’s about empathy

The underpinnings of financial struggle are often tightly woven with a sense of shame and vulnerability. It’s a topic that many prefer to keep hidden, even when the signs are there for those who look closely enough.

As we navigate our relationships and interactions, it’s important to remember that everyone carries their own silent battles. For some, it might be a financial struggle quietly tucked away behind subtle signs.

Being aware of these signs isn’t about prying into someone’s personal affairs. It’s about understanding, empathy, and offering support when it is needed most.

In the words of Philo of Alexandria, “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” In the context of financial struggles, kindness might just be the most valuable currency.

Remember, recognizing these signs is just the first step. The next one is to approach with empathy, to lend an ear or extend a hand.

Because sometimes, the bravest thing someone can do is admit they need help. And the kindest thing we can do is be there when they do.