Being the brainier one in your relationship isn’t about outsmarting your partner or winning arguments.

It’s more nuanced than that. According to psychology, there are subtle signs that indicate you might be the more intelligent half.

So how do you know if you’re the smart cookie in your love story? Well, it’s not necessarily about IQ scores or who has the most degrees.

There are seven telltale signs that suggest you’re the intelligent one in your relationship. And no, it’s not about being manipulative or controlling. It’s about understanding, empathy, and communication.

Let me walk you through these intriguing indicators and remember, it’s all about quality conversation, not competition!

1) You’re the go-to problem solver

Have you ever noticed that your partner often turns to you when they’re stuck with a problem? Whether it’s a tricky crossword puzzle or a complex life decision, they know they can rely on you for insights.

This isn’t about you being the know-it-all, but it points towards your ability to think critically and come up with solutions that might not be obvious to others.

It suggests that you have a knack for understanding complex scenarios and breaking them down into solvable parts.

If your partner often leans on your problem-solving abilities, it’s a strong indicator that you might be the more intelligent one in the relationship.

But remember, this doesn’t mean your partner is any less capable. It just means they appreciate and respect your perspective and intellectual prowess.

2) Your partner admires your emotional intelligence

Emotional intelligence is all about understanding and managing not just your own emotions, but also those of others.

And in my relationship, I’ve noticed that my partner often looks to me when it comes to navigating tricky emotional situations.

For instance, when we’re at a social gathering and someone says something that upsets a friend, I usually become the peacekeeper.

My partner leans on me to smooth things over because I can sense what others are feeling and respond in a way that helps calm the situation.

Emotional intelligence is a crucial aspect of overall intelligence. 

If you find yourself in a similar situation as mine where your partner often depends on your emotional intelligence, it’s likely you might be the more intelligent one in the relationship.

3) You’re often the bigger person

Ever find yourself being the first to apologize or extend an olive branch after a disagreement with your partner, even when you’re not entirely in the wrong?

This doesn’t mean you’re a pushover, but it could indicate that you have a higher level of emotional intelligence. Being able to put aside your ego for the sake of your relationship requires maturity and wisdom.

Being the bigger person is about understanding, as famed psychologist Abraham Maslow said, that “What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself.”

It’s about recognizing your part in the disagreement and taking steps to mend things.

If you’re often the one who initiates reconciliation, it’s a sign that you might be the more intelligent one in your relationship.

But remember, this isn’t about keeping score. It’s about fostering a healthy relationship built on understanding and mutual respect.

4) You’re a good listener

Listening might seem like a passive activity, but it’s actually a sign of intelligence.

A study found that people who engage in active listening—not just hearing, but understanding and responding to what someone is saying—are seen as more intelligent by others.

In my relationship, I often find myself being the one who listens more. I take the time to truly understand my partner’s perspective, feelings, and thoughts before responding.

This is not only beneficial for our communication, but it also shows a level of emotional intelligence.

If you’re the one in your relationship who tends to listen more and respond thoughtfully, it’s likely you could be the more intelligent one.

Remember, as the saying goes, we have two ears and one mouth for a reason – to listen more than we speak!

5) You value your partner’s perspective

It’s normal to have disagreements in a relationship. But the key is how you handle them. In my own relationship, I’ve found that I always try to see things from my partner’s perspective, even when we don’t see eye to eye.

This ability to step into someone else’s shoes and understand their point of view, also known as cognitive empathy, is a sign of intelligence. It requires flexibility of thought and an openness to other perspectives.

If you find yourself consistently trying to understand your partner’s perspective, it’s a strong indication that you might be the more intelligent one in the relationship.

Remember, this isn’t about being right or wrong. It’s about understanding and respecting each other’s viewpoints.

6) You’re not afraid to show vulnerability

Contrary to popular belief, being vulnerable doesn’t signify weakness, but intelligence. It’s about the courage to express your feelings and admit your shortcomings.

In my own relationship, I’ve noticed that I’m often the one who’s not afraid to say “I don’t know” or “I was wrong”. And guess what? This openness and honesty often brings us closer.

As the renowned psychologist Brené Brown said, “Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome.”

So, if you’re the one in your relationship who’s more comfortable showing vulnerability, it’s a strong indicator that you might be the more intelligent one.

Remember, intelligence is not just about knowledge and skills, but also about emotional depth and understanding.

7) You’re adaptable

Being adaptable in a relationship is a sign of intelligence. As situations change, you’re able to adjust your behavior and expectations accordingly.

If you’re often the one in your relationship who’s flexible and open to change, it’s a good indication that you might be the more intelligent one.

Remember, being adaptable doesn’t mean compromising on your values. It’s about being open-minded and flexible in the face of life’s inevitable changes.

Final thoughts

Being the more intelligent one in your relationship isn’t about superiority or having the upper hand. It’s about utilizing your strengths to foster a healthy, balanced, and mutually respectful bond.

Each relationship is unique and intelligence comes in various forms. Remember, it’s not a competition. It’s about understanding, appreciating, and valuing each other’s abilities and perspectives.

Whether you’re the go-to problem solver, the empathetic listener, or the one who often shows vulnerability, the key lies in using these traits to improve your relationship.

After all, intelligence isn’t just about IQ or academic achievements. It’s about emotional depth, understanding, and adaptability. So take a moment to reflect on these signs and how they play out in your relationship.

Remember to appreciate your partner’s intelligence too. Because at the end of the day, it takes two to tango!