People who talk too much when they’re nervous often had these 7 experiences growing up

Olivia Reid by Olivia Reid | April 21, 2025, 7:51 pm

When you’re feeling a bit jittery, do you tend to blabber more than you usually would? You’re not alone.

There’s a fascinating connection between our childhood experiences and our adult habits, particularly when it comes to talking excessively under stress.

In this piece, we’re going to delve into seven common experiences that chatty, nervous adults often had in their younger years.

I’m not aiming to label or diagnose here, just shine a light on some interesting correlations.

If you’ve ever wondered why you can’t seem to stop talking when you’re anxious, stick around.

The answers may lie in your past:

1) They grew up in a high-stress environment

What happens in our formative years often lays the groundwork for how we react to the world as adults.

For those who turn into chatterboxes when they’re nervous, there’s a good chance they grew up in high-stress environments.

This doesn’t necessarily mean a traumatic or abusive childhood—it could simply be a home where parents were constantly stressed due to work, financial issues, or other pressures.

In such environments, children often feel that they have to be ‘on’ all the time, always ready to respond or defend themselves.

This can manifest as excessive talking in adulthood, particularly when under stress.

To cope with their nervous energy, they may have developed a habit of verbalizing their thoughts in an attempt to control their surroundings.

Expressing their thoughts aloud becomes a safety blanket, a way to navigate through the uncertainty.

2) They often felt unheard or overlooked

I can personally relate to this one: As the youngest of four kids, I often found myself fighting for attention in a bustling, noisy household.

My siblings were older, louder, and more assertive.

They always seemed to command the room with their strong personalities.

In contrast, I often felt like my voice got lost in the mix.

This dynamic pushed me to talk more, to try and make myself heard.

Over time, this turned into a habit that stuck around even when I was no longer competing for airtime at the family dinner table.

As an adult, I realized that when I’m nervous or feel like I’m not being heard, I tend to talk excessively.

It’s as if that little kid inside me is still trying to get a word in edgewise; it’s an interesting insight into how our childhood experiences can shape our behaviors later in life.

3) They had parents who were over-talkers

In many cases, we pick up our communication habits from our parents.

It’s no surprise then that children of parents who talk excessively often grow up to be adults who do the same.

Psychologists have found that parental behaviors can profoundly influence their children’s communication styles.

If a child grows up in a household where over-talking is the norm, they’re likely to adopt this style of communication.

Their habits may have had a bigger influence on your own than you realize.

4) They were praised for being articulate

Recognition and praise in childhood can significantly shape our behaviors as adults.

If, growing up, you were often complimented for your eloquence or verbal skills, you might subconsciously turn to talking when you’re anxious.

This stems from the positive reinforcement you received for your articulation.

Under stress or in unfamiliar situations, we tend to revert to what we’re good at—and if you were praised for your words, that’s where you might instinctively go.

Look back at the compliments and affirmations you received as a child.

Did they revolve around your ability to express yourself verbally? If so, this could be a contributing factor to why you talk more when you’re nervous.

5) They used talking as a coping mechanism

When I was a kid, I was incredibly shy.

Speaking up in class or making new friends was a challenge.

However, I found a unique way to cope—talking.

Sounds counter-intuitive, right? But it wasn’t just any kind of talking.

I would prattle on about topics that interested me—dinosaurs, space exploration, the latest book I’d read.

This allowed me to control the narrative and steer the conversation towards something familiar and comfortable.

Over time, this became a reflex: Whenever I found myself in uncomfortable situations, I would instinctively start talking.

As an adult, this habit has stuck around.

When I’m feeling nervous, my first instinct is to fill the silence with words.

It’s a coping mechanism that has its roots in my childhood—something that may resonate with other over-talkers when they’re anxious.

6) They were expected to always have an answer

Growing up in an environment where you were expected to always have an answer can also contribute to excessive talking when you’re nervous.

This might have been a result of your parents’ high expectations or a school environment that valued quick thinking and verbal responses; this pressure to always have something to say can carry into adulthood, translating into excessive talking when under stress.

If you find yourself rambling when you’re anxious, consider whether you often felt pressured to have all the answers growing up.

7) They felt they had to justify their feelings

If you were frequently asked to explain or justify your feelings growing up, you might now find yourself over-explaining things when you’re nervous.

Having to constantly justify your feelings can lead to a habit of over-communication.

It’s as if you’re always ready to defend your emotions or thoughts, even when it’s not necessary.

If you’re a chatterbox when you’re anxious, it might be because you’ve grown used to the idea that you have to justify your feelings.

Recognizing this pattern is the first step towards breaking the cycle and finding healthier ways to manage your nerves.

Final thoughts: It’s all part of your story

The complexities of human behavior are often intertwined with our personal histories.

In the case of those who talk excessively when nervous, their past experiences often provide intriguing insights.

Growing up in high-stress environments, feeling unheard, or being lauded for articulation—these formative experiences can shape our communication habits in fascinating ways.

But here’s the crucial part: Understanding these patterns doesn’t mean we’re stuck with them.

If you find yourself talking too much when you’re anxious, remember: It’s not a flaw, but a feature of your story.

Like any good story, it can always take a new turn!

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