Life isn’t fair—at least, not for everyone.

Some people face a tough existence filled with obstacles that range from financial woes to health crises to fractured relationships.

Yet, somehow, these same folks greet the world with a smile and go out of their way to lend a helping hand.

You know the type: someone who’s barely making rent but will still insist on buying you a coffee, or a friend juggling multiple jobs who always has an encouraging word when you’re feeling low.

It’s like they’ve tapped into a hidden reservoir of kindness most of us can barely imagine.

So, what makes them tick?

Today, I want to dig into seven unique traits I’ve noticed in people who’ve gone through hell and back—yet remain warm, upbeat, and astonishingly big-hearted.

Let’s dive in.

1. They understand empathy on a deeper level

When life knocks you around, you start to see the world differently.

Empathy isn’t something you do because you read a self-help book about kindness; it becomes second nature.

I have a friend who survived a brutal childhood—her home life was chaotic, with little emotional support.

She often said the experience made her hyperaware of other people’s pain.

She just can’t turn her back when she notices someone is struggling, whether they’re a close friend or the grocery store cashier.

This kind of empathy doesn’t come from theory.

It’s earned through direct experience: you’ve been in the trenches, so you recognize those little signs of distress that others might miss.

2. They find meaning in the little things

If someone’s had a painfully difficult life, you’d think they’d be drowning in bitterness.

But actually, many of them are the first to notice the beauty of a sunrise or the relief of having a cozy place to sleep.

It’s not that they’re oblivious to life’s challenges—they probably know them better than anyone else.

But rather than obsess over what’s missing, they focus on those fleeting moments of grace that help them keep going.

When I left my cushy corporate job in my late 20s, I thought my life was falling apart because I’d lost the stability I’d relied on.

Looking back, that phase was nowhere near as tough as what some people endure on a daily basis.

Yet I remember the day I realized that simply having the time to sit and read in the morning sun was a gift.

This shift in perspective is what genuinely resilient people excel at.

They relish small joys—like sharing a laugh with a friend or enjoying a decent meal—because they’ve seen how easily everything can be taken away.

3. They tackle limiting beliefs head-on

Hardship has a way of spotlighting all the mental traps we set for ourselves.

It’s easy to fall into the mindset that you’re somehow destined for failure, or that life is just too cruel for you to ever get ahead.

But people who keep smiling through the pain usually find a method—consciously or not—to question these beliefs.

They challenge the idea that they’re doomed to a miserable existence or that their kindness is wasted in a harsh world.

I remember hitting a wall a few years ago when I questioned if I’d made a massive mistake leaving my old career.

I was plagued by what ifs—what if I’m not cut out for writing?

What if I can’t support myself financially?

I ended up discovering Rudá Iandê’s “Free Your Mind” masterclass (yep, it’s free) and decided to give it a go, even though I was never the biggest fan of self-development courses.

One of the exercises in the masterclass got me to look closely at how my limiting beliefs were fueling my anxiety.

It was a game-changer—realizing that the narrative in my head wasn’t set in stone.

That same mental shift is something I see in people who stay kind despite life’s challenges.

They often find a way to rewire the story they tell themselves, transforming negativity into a more empowering outlook.

4. They have a quiet kind of resilience

As I’ve mentioned before, bouncing back from adversity is often less about physical strength and more about mental endurance.

And this is where people with genuinely difficult lives truly shine: they don’t give up just because they hit another roadblock.

They don’t storm the gates shouting how strong they are, but they move forward day after day, heartbreak after heartbreak.

I’ve seen this resilience in single parents who work multiple shifts and still manage to show up for their kids’ school plays.

Or in the friend who had to drop out of college to support their family but kept the dream of going back alive for years until they finally did it.

Resilience, in this sense, isn’t a showy display of bravery.

It’s a soft, steadfast commitment to keep going.

They understand that getting through one day—even if it’s lousy—is still progress. And they know that eventually, small steps build into bigger leaps.

5. They don’t let bitterness define them

Bitterness is a trap that’s alarmingly easy to fall into.

When life treats you badly, cynicism can become a form of self-protection.

You might think, “If I expect the worst, at least I won’t be disappointed.”

But the individuals we’re talking about refuse to let bitterness consume them.

They do feel hurt; they’ve tasted sorrow in ways others might never imagine.

Yet they consciously choose not to wield that pain like a weapon.

It reminds me of something I read in Alan Watts’s work: “This is the real secret of life—to be completely engaged with what you are doing in the here and now.”

Watts was referring to mindfulness, but it also applies to how we handle emotional scars.

If you’re able to remain open to the present moment, you have a shot at authentic kindness—even when you have every reason to be jaded.

6. They find purpose in lifting others

Helping others isn’t just a random act for people who’ve endured real hardship; it can feel like a duty, a calling, or even a form of therapy.

When they see someone struggling, they’re compelled to step in because they know exactly how lonely or overwhelming life can get.

Back when I started writing, I used to spend hours reading manuscripts from folks sharing their personal stories—often detailing the most painful chapters of their lives.

Here at GEE (Global English Editing), we see it all: memoirs of loss, addiction, heartbreak, and more.

Yet, those very writers typically infuse their work with uplifting messages for others going through similar ordeals.

It might sound counterintuitive, but pouring energy into helping others can actually be healing.

When you focus on being a light for someone else, you inevitably bring a bit of that glow back into your own life.

7. They carry a hope rooted in reality

Hope often gets painted as naive optimism—like seeing the world through rose-colored glasses no matter what.

But people with difficult lives who remain kind usually have a form of hope that’s tethered to reality.

They’re fully aware that things might go sideways. They’ve lived through worst-case scenarios.

Yet they still believe in the possibility of better tomorrows.

This isn’t fairy-tale thinking; it’s a realistic hope that acknowledges how tough the road might be but refuses to say it’s hopeless.

They plan, they adapt, and they hold onto the idea that progress—no matter how small—is always possible.

I see it in friends who’ve faced chronic health issues or big financial setbacks. They’re cautious but refuse to let that caution become defeat.

They keep searching for a solution, keep trying new methods of coping, and keep spreading kindness as they go.

That kind of hope is magnetic—people sense it. It’s grounded, unpretentious, and it doesn’t promise miracles.

But it promises the possibility of small victories that can add up over time.

Rounding things off

People who juggle genuine hardships yet remain kind aren’t unicorns.

They’re ordinary humans who’ve chosen to show up differently in a world that often feels brutal.

If you see yourself in any of these traits—or if you aspire to—take it as a sign that you can harness your life challenges in a way that shapes you into someone stronger, kinder, and more self-aware.

Here’s to everyone who keeps smiling and staying kind—no matter how messy life gets. Your strength is an inspiration more powerful than you might ever know.