Growing up, my parents were a bit of a wildcard.

Sure, unpredictability can be exciting, but when it comes to the people who are supposed to be your rock, a little stability goes a long way.

Now, you might be thinking, “What’s the big deal? So what if your parents were a little unpredictable?”

When you grow up with emotionally unpredictable parents, it can shape your habits in ways you might not even realize.

You could be carrying around habits that were once survival tactics, but now they’re just holding you back.

So, if you’re pondering “Why do I behave this way?” or “Why can’t I handle situations like others?”, then stick around. We’re about to uncover seven habits people often develop when they grow up with emotionally unpredictable parents.

1) Hyper-awareness of others’ emotions

If you’ve grown up with emotionally unpredictable parents, chances are you’ve developed a bit of a sixth sense.

You may find yourself constantly on the lookout for emotional cues from others. Subtle changes in tone, facial expressions, or body language can set off alarm bells in your head.

Well, when your parents were unpredictable, you learned to anticipate their emotional shifts as a form of self-protection. It was about survival – if you could figure out what was coming, you could prepare yourself accordingly.

But now, this hyper-awareness can make it hard to relax. You might find yourself constantly vigilant, always preparing for the worst-case scenario.

The good news?

Recognizing this habit is the first step toward change. With awareness and practice, you can learn to dial down your sensitivity to others’ emotions and start to enjoy your social interactions more freely.

2) Difficulty expressing emotions

Here’s a confession.

Growing up, I always found it hard to express my emotions. It was like I was constantly walking on eggshells, never knowing when the next emotional outburst would happen at home.

To cope, I learned to bottle up my feelings. Better to keep things to myself than to risk setting off a volatile situation, right?

But now, I realize this habit isn’t serving me well. In fact, it’s holding me back from forming deeper connections with others.

If you’re like me and grew up with emotionally unpredictable parents, you might also struggle to express your emotions openly. You’ve become so accustomed to suppressing your feelings that it’s become second nature.

However, remember that it’s okay to express how you feel. Your emotions are valid and deserve to be heard. With practice, you can learn to communicate your feelings in a healthy and constructive way.

3) A tendency to self-isolate

Growing up with emotionally unpredictable parents, home was a battlefield. And the only way to escape the warzone was to create a fortress of solitude.

Now, when faced with conflict, my first instinct is to self-isolate. To build walls. To retreat into my shell.

It’s not that I don’t crave connection – on the contrary, I yearn for it. But the fear of unpredictability, of emotional upheaval, often outweighs the longing for closeness.

If you find yourself doing the same, know that it’s okay. It’s just a habit born out of the need to protect yourself.

But also know this: You deserve to be seen, to be heard, and to be loved. And with time and patience, you can learn to let others in without fear of emotional unpredictability.

4) Perfectionism

Ever feel like everything you do needs to be perfect? That any mistake or failure is a direct reflection of your worth?

You’re not alone.

Growing up with emotionally unpredictable parents often leads to perfectionism. You might have felt that being perfect was the only way to avoid conflict or emotional outbursts.

This need for perfection can spill over into adulthood, affecting your work, relationships, and self-perception. You might find yourself setting impossibly high standards and then beating yourself up when you fall short.

But here’s the truth: Perfection is a myth. It’s okay to make mistakes – they’re just opportunities for growth and learning.

So, give yourself permission to be human. To be beautifully, perfectly imperfect. Trust me, it’s a habit worth cultivating.

5) Constant self-doubt

Did you know that the human brain has a negativity bias? It’s wired to pay more attention to negative experiences than positive ones.

Now, imagine growing up with emotionally unpredictable parents. You’re constantly exposed to negative experiences, reinforcing that bias and often leading to chronic self-doubt.

You start to question your worth, your abilities, and your decisions. You feel like you’re never good enough, and this feeling persists into adulthood.

But remember, self-doubt is just a pattern of thinking that you’ve learnt over the years. And the good news? Patterns can be changed.

By practicing self-compassion and challenging negative thoughts, you can gradually shift your mindset and alleviate self-doubt. You’re more capable and deserving than you give yourself credit for.

6) Fear of abandonment

Growing up amidst emotional chaos can make you feel incredibly alone. You may have often felt like you were left to navigate the stormy seas of life on your own.

As a result, you might develop a deep-seated fear of abandonment. You cling to relationships, terrified of being left alone again.

I understand how painful and overwhelming this fear can be. But I want to reassure you that it’s possible to overcome it.

Remember, people come and go in life, and that’s okay. It’s not a reflection of your worth. You are enough, just as you are, and you are deserving of stable, loving relationships.

It may take time and patience to unlearn this fear, but trust me, it’s worth it. Because you deserve to feel secure in your connections with others.

7) Emotional resilience

Here’s the thing.

Growing up with emotionally unpredictable parents is tough, no doubt. But, it also equips you with a level of resilience that’s hard to match.

You’ve weathered emotional storms that have forged you into a survivor. You’ve navigated choppy waters and come out stronger on the other side.

This resilience is a testament to your strength and your ability to adapt to challenging situations. Yes, it might have led to some habits that aren’t serving you now, but it’s also a powerful tool that you can harness in your journey of growth and healing.

So, embrace this resilience. Recognize it as a part of you, and use it as a foundation to build a healthier, happier future. Because you are stronger than your past, and you have the power to shape your future.

Embracing the journey

If any of these habits hit home for you, know that you’re not alone. Many of us have experienced emotional unpredictability in our childhoods, and it’s normal to carry some of these habits into adulthood.

But here’s the beauty of it – awareness is the first step towards transformation.

Identify these habits in your life. Acknowledge them, not with judgment, but with compassion and understanding. These were survival mechanisms that served you once upon a time.

But now, it’s time to let go.

Remember, change is a process, not an event. It’s okay to take baby steps. It’s okay to stumble along the way. What matters is that you keep moving forward.

Start consciously making choices that align with the person you want to be, not just the person your past shaped you into.

With time, patience, and consistency, you can rewrite your narrative. You can build healthier habits that serve your wellbeing and your relationships.

You’ve got this. And remember – you are more than the sum of your past experiences. You have the power to create a future that’s defined by resilience, growth, and authentic happiness.