If someone avoids conflict, they’re likely scared. If someone overreacts, they’re likely stressed.

That’s the ABC of human reaction.

But it’s not always that straightforward.

Our reactions are often shaped by our upbringing, and those who grew up walking on eggshells may have a distinct set of emotional responses to conflict.

Interestingly, these responses can be categorized into eight main types that we’ll explore.

For those among us who had such an upbringing, understanding these responses might just be the key to unlocking a healthier approach to conflict.

For the rest of us, it’s a peak into a complicated world of emotional management.

That’s what we’ll be diving into today. So, let’s get started.

1) Hypervigilance

Conflicts can often feel like a battlefield.

For those who grew up walking on eggshells, this feeling is amplified tenfold.

They’re always on high alert, scanning their environment for potential threats and predicting the worst possible outcomes.

This is called hypervigilance.

Their minds are constantly buzzing with “what if” scenarios, making it hard for them to relax and enjoy the present moment.

They’re always preparing for the next battle, even when there’s no war in sight.

It’s like having an inner alarm that never turns off.

But there’s a silver lining to this. Because they’re so in tune with their surroundings, they can pick up on subtle cues that others might miss.

This can make them exceptional at reading people and situations, despite the stress it may cause.

Not exactly a walk in the park, but it does come with its perks.

2) Conflict avoidance

Growing up walking on eggshells, conflict was something I learned to dread early on.

I found myself always trying to keep the peace, to prevent any potential sparks from igniting into a full-blown fire.

I became an expert at avoiding conflict, at any cost.

I’d swallow my opinions, agree with things I didn’t believe in, and even let others take advantage of me, just to keep the peace.

It wasn’t healthy, but it was my coping mechanism.

It was as if I was holding my breath, constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop.

And when it did, I’d do everything in my power to pick it back up and restore the balance.

But over time I’ve learned that conflict isn’t always bad.

It’s a natural part of human interaction and can lead to growth if handled correctly.

While avoiding conflict might have been my safety net growing up, I’ve since learned that sometimes, it’s okay to let the shoe drop.

3) Emotional suppression

Growing up on eggshells often leads to an automatic reflex of suppressing one’s emotions.

It’s a survival tactic; show no fear, show no weakness, keep your feelings hidden.

But here’s the catch – research suggests that attempting to suppress thoughts can often lead to an increase in those very thoughts.

It’s known as the “rebound effect”, and it’s a psychological phenomenon that can make emotional suppression a double-edged sword.

While it might seem like the safe option to keep emotions under wraps, in the long run, it may just intensify the feelings we’re trying to hide.

And that could potentially lead to more internal conflict down the road.

Human minds, they’re a tricky business, aren’t they?

4) Perfectionism

When you’re used to walking on eggshells, making a mistake can feel like stepping on a landmine.

You become obsessed with getting things right, with meeting all expectations, with being flawless.

It’s perfectionism in its rawest form.

You believe that if you’re perfect, there will be no reason for conflict.

No mistakes mean no arguments, no disappointments, no emotional distress. It sounds logical, but it’s an illusion.

Perfectionism often leads to undue stress and self-doubt.

It’s a never-ending chase because perfection is subjective, and it keeps moving further away the closer you get to it.

But remember, it’s okay to make mistakes. They’re not landmines, they’re stepping stones to growth.

Nobody is perfect, and that’s perfectly okay.

5) Over-apologizing

When I was younger, I used to say “sorry” a lot. And I mean a lot.

If someone bumped into me, I’d apologize.

If I asked a question, I’d apologize. If someone else made a mistake, somehow, I’d find a way to apologize for that too.

It was my instinctive response to any discomfort or potential conflict.

Apologizing became my safety blanket, my shield against the world.

I thought it was polite, that it made me likable.

But over time, I realized that constantly apologizing made me seem insecure and unsure of myself.

Apologies have their place, and they’re important when we’ve done something wrong.

But it’s equally important to recognize when an apology isn’t necessary. We shouldn’t have to apologize for existing in the world.

6) Proactive peacemaking

You might think that growing up on eggshells would make someone shy away from any form of conflict resolution.

But surprisingly, it often has the opposite effect.

Many of us who spent our formative years dodging emotional landmines become adept at spotting potential conflicts and nipping them in the bud.

We become proactive peacemakers.

We’re the ones who step in to mediate, who offer compromises, who find the middle ground.

We strive to resolve issues before they escalate into full-blown conflicts.

But while it’s a useful skill, it’s also important to remember that not all conflicts are ours to resolve.

Sometimes, stepping back is the best course of action.

7) Sensitivity to criticism

Criticism can sting. But for those who grew up walking on eggshells, it can feel like a punch to the gut.

We become hypersensitive to any form of criticism, seeing it as a personal attack rather than constructive feedback.

We take it to heart, often overanalyzing and losing sleep over a single negative comment.

This sensitivity stems from the fear of conflict, the fear of disappointing others.

We tie our self-worth to other people’s opinions of us, which can be incredibly damaging to our self-esteem.

But it’s crucial to remember that criticism isn’t always personal. It’s often about the action, not the person.

And every piece of criticism, no matter how harsh, can be a stepping stone towards growth.

8) Emotional resilience

Growing up on eggshells is tough.

There’s no sugarcoating it. But it often leads to the development of one powerful trait – emotional resilience.

We learn to navigate through emotional turmoil, to adapt, and to bounce back from adversity.

We become experts at handling stress and managing our emotions.

Despite the struggles, we become stronger, more resilient individuals. And that’s something worth celebrating.

Walking a path of resilience

If you’ve come this far, it’s clear that those who grew up walking on eggshells have a unique set of emotional responses to conflict.

It’s not an easy path, and the challenges faced are often immense.

But remember, these responses are not signs of weakness.

Rather, they are testaments to the resilience and strength of those who have had to navigate such tricky emotional terrains.

Growing up in such an environment can be tough, but it also breeds an incredible ability to adapt, a heightened sensitivity towards others, and a resilience that is truly admirable.

These individuals aren’t just survivors, they’re warriors.

They bear the scars of their pasts not as reminders of battles lost, but as badges of honor, symbols of battles fought and won.

If you’re one of these warriors, take a moment to appreciate your journey.

You’ve come a long way, and every step you’ve taken has made you the strong, resilient individual you are today.

And remember, it’s not just about surviving the storm, but learning to dance in the rain.