If you grew up hearing “we can’t afford it”, you probably internalized these 7 habits without realizing it

Money talks. It doesn’t just talk about budgets and bank accounts, but it also shapes our attitudes, behaviors, and habits.
Growing up hearing “we can’t afford it” is more than just a response to your wishlist.
It’s a narrative that quietly moulds the way you think about and handle money.
If you’re someone who often heard those words as a child, chances are you’ve subconsciously adopted certain habits without even realizing it.
These habits might be influencing your relationship with money and decision-making in adulthood.
And don’t worry, this isn’t about blame or regret.
It’s about understanding how our past can shape our present, and how we can choose to shape our future.
1) Stretching every dollar
If “we can’t afford it” was a common phrase in your household growing up, you’ve likely become an expert at stretching every dollar.
This isn’t about being cheap, but about maximizing the value from every cent you spend.
Whether it’s comparing prices, hunting for deals, or making do with what you have, you’ve developed an instinct for making your money go further.
This habit is a double-edged sword. On one hand, it can lead to smart financial decisions, making sure you get the most bang for your buck.
On the other hand, it may result in a reluctance to invest in higher quality items that may cost more upfront, but save money in the long run.
Recognizing this habit and understanding its implications can help you navigate your financial journey with more awareness and intention.
It’s not just about how much you spend, but also about how wisely you spend.
2) Always opting for the cheapest option
I remember going grocery shopping with my parents as a kid.
We would walk past the name-brand cereals and head straight for the store-brand versions.
The same went for clothes, shoes, and just about everything else.
Growing up hearing “we can’t afford it” often meant always opting for the cheapest option.
This habit stuck with me into adulthood.
Even when I started earning my own income, I would find myself automatically gravitating towards the lower-priced items.
This isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It’s helped me save money and avoid unnecessary expenses.
But it’s also made me realize that sometimes, you get what you pay for.
There have been times when I’ve opted for the cheaper option, only to have it break or wear out sooner than expected.
The key is striking a balance.
It’s about understanding when it makes sense to invest a little more for quality, and when cheaper really is just as good.
3) Hesitance towards credit
People who grew up in households where “we can’t afford it” was a common refrain often develop a deep-seated hesitance towards credit.
This might manifest as avoiding credit cards, being wary of loans, or a general discomfort with the idea of owing money.
While avoiding unnecessary debt is a sound financial strategy, this fear of credit can limit opportunities.
Responsible use of credit can help build a positive credit history, which is essential for things like buying a house or car.
Understanding how to use credit wisely is an important step in becoming financially savvy.
4) High level of financial anxiety
The constant refrain of “we can’t afford it” during your formative years can lead to a heightened level of financial anxiety.
You might find yourself worrying excessively about money, even when your financial situation is stable.
This kind of stress often stems from the fear of not having enough, or of ending up in a financially precarious situation.
It can push you to work harder, save more, and be cautious with your financial decisions.
While being mindful about money is beneficial, it’s important to not let financial anxiety control your life.
Learning to manage this anxiety and developing a healthy relationship with money can make a big difference to your overall wellbeing.
5) Second-guessing every purchase
I still remember the first time I bought a designer bag. I had been saving up for it, and it was well within my budget.
But when it came time to make the purchase, I hesitated. I second-guessed myself, wondering if it was really worth it.
This habit of questioning every purchase, big or small, is something many of us who grew up hearing “we can’t afford it” can relate to.
There’s always that little voice in the back of our heads asking if we really need it or if we could find it cheaper elsewhere.
While this habit can help us avoid impulsive buys and keep our finances in check, it can also rob us of the joy of treating ourselves once in a while.
It’s important to remember that it’s okay to indulge in something we love, as long as it’s within our means and doesn’t derail our financial goals.
6) Reluctance to discuss money
If you grew up hearing “we can’t afford it,” you might have developed a reluctance to discuss money.
Money can often feel like a taboo topic, leading to a lack of open conversation about finances in both personal and professional settings.
This reluctance can hinder your financial growth.
Sharing knowledge, experiences, and tips about money management with trusted peers can be incredibly beneficial.
It can help you learn about investing, saving, and budgeting from different perspectives.
Breaking the silence around money can be empowering.
It can help you make informed decisions and feel more confident about your financial future.
7) Frugality as a lifestyle
The most impactful habit you might have internalized from hearing “we can’t afford it” is embracing frugality as a lifestyle.
This isn’t about pinching pennies or denying yourself pleasures.
It’s about learning to live within your means, appreciating what you have, and making thoughtful decisions about your money.
This habit can set a strong foundation for financial stability and independence.
Summing it up: It’s about awareness and choice
As we journey through life, our relationship with money continues to evolve.
The early echoes of “we can’t afford it” can shape us in profound ways.
It can instill habits of frugality, caution, and resourcefulness.
However, it can also cast shadows of anxiety, second-guessing, and reluctance to discuss finances.
The key lies in awareness.
Recognizing these habits and understanding how they influence our financial decisions is the first step towards a healthier monetary mindset.
It’s about realizing that these habits are not our destiny, but our starting point.
We have the power to choose how we interact with money.
We can learn to balance frugality with enjoyment, caution with courage, and silence with conversation.
We are not just products of our past; we are architects of our future.
Money is not just a means to an end.
It’s a tool that, when used wisely, can help us create the life we envision for ourselves.