In a healthy relationship, love and appreciation should never feel one-sided. We all want to feel valued by our partners—to know that our time, energy, and emotions are truly seen.

But sometimes, things start to shift. The sweet gestures fade, the effort dwindles, and suddenly, you’re left wondering: Am I being taken for granted?

The truth is, it’s not always obvious. Some behaviors creep in so slowly that you don’t even realize what’s happening—until you’re exhausted from giving and barely receiving.

If a man starts showing these behaviors in a relationship, it’s a clear sign he’s no longer appreciating you the way he should. And if that’s the case, it might be time to take a step back and reassess.

1) He stops saying thank you

Gratitude is a small thing that makes a big difference.

At the beginning of the relationship, he probably used to appreciate the little things—thanking you for making time for him, for showing support, for doing something thoughtful just because.

But now? Silence.

When a man stops acknowledging your efforts, it’s often because he’s come to expect them. He assumes you’ll always be there, always giving, always doing. And that’s when appreciation turns into entitlement.

No one wants to feel like their kindness is being taken for granted. If he can’t even say thank you anymore, it might be time to ask yourself if he truly values what you bring to the relationship.

2) He only reaches out when he needs something

I remember the moment it hit me.

I was always the one checking in, asking how his day was, making plans to see each other. But when he texted me first? It was usually because he needed a favor—help with something, a ride somewhere, or just someone to vent to when things weren’t going his way.

At first, I told myself I was just being supportive. That’s what partners do, right? But over time, I realized our conversations had a pattern: my messages were filled with care and effort, while his were mostly requests.

If a man only reaches out when it benefits him, it’s a clear sign he’s taking you for granted. A real relationship goes both ways—you shouldn’t have to wonder if he’d still text you if he didn’t need something.

3) He stops making an effort with his appearance

At the start of a relationship, people naturally put in the effort to look and feel their best. It’s part of the excitement—wanting to impress and show that they care.

But over time, some men start to get too comfortable.

Sweatpants every day, unbrushed hair, barely putting in any effort when you go out together. Of course, no one has to look perfect all the time, but there’s a difference between being relaxed and completely checking out.

Psychologists have found that the way we present ourselves is often linked to how much we value a situation. If he no longer cares about making an effort around you—but still cleans up for work or nights out with his friends—it might be a sign that he’s stopped prioritizing your relationship the way he once did.

4) He cancels plans at the last minute

Everyone gets busy—life happens, and sometimes plans need to change. But if he’s constantly canceling on you at the last minute, especially without a good reason, it’s a red flag.

At the beginning of your relationship, he probably couldn’t wait to see you. He made plans in advance, stuck to them, and maybe even counted down the days.

But now? He suddenly “forgets” about your plans or bails with a vague excuse.

When someone truly values your time, they don’t treat it as an afterthought. If he keeps canceling without making an effort to reschedule or make it up to you, it’s a sign that he’s no longer prioritizing your relationship—and that he assumes you’ll just put up with it.

5) He doesn’t ask about your day

I used to notice it in small ways. I’d ask him how his day was, listen to his stories, and offer support when he needed to vent.

But when it came to my day? He rarely asked. And if I brought it up myself, his responses were short and distracted, like he was just waiting for the conversation to move on.

At first, I brushed it off. Maybe he was tired, maybe he had a lot on his mind. But over time, I realized that someone who truly cares will want to know about the little details of your life—your wins, your struggles, even the random things that made you laugh that day.

When a man stops asking about your day, it’s not just forgetfulness. It’s a sign that he’s no longer as emotionally invested as he once was. And no one deserves to feel like their thoughts and experiences don’t matter.

6) He agrees with you on everything

You’d think that always being on the same page would be a good thing. No disagreements, no debates—just smooth sailing. But when a man starts agreeing with everything you say, it’s not always a sign of harmony. Sometimes, it’s a sign of indifference.

In the beginning, he probably had his own opinions, challenged you in fun conversations, and contributed to meaningful discussions. But if he’s stopped offering his own thoughts and just goes along with whatever you say, it could mean he’s disengaged.

Real connection comes from honesty—not just telling you what you want to hear. If he no longer puts in the effort to express himself, it might be because he doesn’t care enough to.

7) He stops noticing the little things

In the early days, he probably noticed everything—when you changed your hairstyle, when you wore his favorite color, when you were a little quieter than usual. Those small details mattered to him because you mattered to him.

But now? You get a new haircut, and he doesn’t say a word. You mention something important, and he forgets five minutes later. The little things that once caught his attention barely register anymore.

When someone truly values you, they stay present. They notice the small changes, remember the details, and make you feel seen. If he’s stopped paying attention, it’s not because there’s nothing to notice—it’s because he’s stopped making the effort to look.

8) He assumes you’ll always be there

The biggest sign a man is taking you for granted? He acts like no matter what he does—or doesn’t do—you’ll stay.

He stops putting in effort, stops showing appreciation, stops making you feel special. Not because he doesn’t care at all, but because he assumes you won’t leave. He thinks your love is a given, not something he has to nurture.

But love isn’t about assumptions. It’s about choice—choosing each other every day, showing up, and making sure the other person feels valued. If he’s stopped choosing you, maybe it’s time for you to choose differently.

When effort stops, so does connection

Relationships don’t fall apart overnight. They fade when appreciation is replaced with expectation, when effort turns into complacency, and when one person assumes the other will always be there, no matter what.

Psychologists have long said that relationships thrive on reciprocity—the idea that both people give, care, and invest in each other. When that balance is lost, resentment grows, and love starts to feel more like an obligation than a choice.

Because at the end of the day, love isn’t just about feelings. It’s about actions. And if someone consistently shows you that they don’t value you the way they once did, maybe it’s time to ask yourself the hardest question of all: Why am I still choosing them, when they’ve stopped choosing me?