7 habits that seem quirky but actually come from childhood emotional wounds, according to psychology

Farley Ledgerwood by Farley Ledgerwood | April 18, 2025, 1:00 pm

Ever noticed some quirky habits in people around you? They might be more than just eccentricities.

According to psychology, certain peculiar behaviors may actually stem from childhood emotional wounds. It’s a fascinating and sometimes heartbreaking revelation.

In the spirit of understanding and empathy, I’ve compiled a list of seven such habits. These might seem odd on the surface, but they have deeper roots than you’d expect.

So, let’s dive into these habits and explore the hidden stories they might tell. It’s a journey that can help us better empathize with others, and even ourselves.

And who knows – this understanding might just be the first step towards healing.

1) Over-apologizing

Ever come across someone who says ‘sorry’ far too often? It might seem quirky, or even endearing at first. But this habit might be more than just a linguistic tic.

Over-apologizing can often be a sign of a deep-seated fear of disappointing others. This fear typically stems from a childhood where the individual was consistently made to feel like they were not good enough.

Children who are constantly criticized or reproached may grow up to be adults who are always on edge, fearing they’ll make a mistake. Their ‘sorry’ isn’t just a casual phrase – it’s an automatic response to perceived failure.

As renowned psychologist Dr. Carl Rogers once said, “What is most personal is most universal.”

In other words, these deeply personal experiences and their resulting habits are not isolated cases – they’re shared by many around the world.

If you find yourself or someone else over-apologizing, it might be time to dig deeper and understand the emotional wounds behind this quirky habit.

2) Perfectionism

I admit, I’ve been known to be a bit of a perfectionist. Whether it’s aligning the pictures on my wall or proofreading an email ten times before sending, I’ve often struggled with the need for everything to be ‘just right.’

At first, I thought it was just my quirky personality. But as I delved deeper into psychology, I realized that my perfectionism might be rooted in my childhood experiences.

Perfectionism often springs from a fear of failure or criticism, usually instilled during our formative years.

As children, if we were constantly criticized or our accomplishments were never deemed ‘good enough,’ we might grow up believing that we need to be perfect to be accepted or loved.

Recognizing this connection between my perfectionism and my past was a revelation. It’s helped me begin to let go of the need for perfection, and understand that I am enough, just as I am.

3) Difficulty trusting others

Have you ever noticed how some people find it hard to open up or trust others, even in the closest relationships?

This habit might seem like a protective wall, but it often stems from emotional wounds inflicted during childhood.

If a child experiences betrayal or abandonment, they may grow up believing that others cannot be relied upon.

This lack of trust can permeate into their adult relationships, leading to isolation and difficulty in forming deep connections.

For those carrying this emotional wound, rebuilding trust can feel like a monumental task, but it is the key to rekindling hope and opening up to meaningful relationships.

This honesty may be uncomfortable to confront, but it’s part of the healing process. We need to acknowledge these wounds before we can begin to mend them.

4) Fear of abandonment

The fear of being left alone, or abandoned, is a common fear. But for some, this fear can manifest in behaviors that might seem excessive or even obsessive.

This could be seen in always needing reassurance in a relationship, or constantly worrying that their partner will leave them.

It may seem like a ‘clingy’ habit, but it’s often a sign of deeper emotional wounds from childhood.

A study found that children who experienced early parental loss or separation are more likely to develop fears of abandonment later in life.

This fear can persist into adulthood and affect their relationships and interactions with others.

Understanding the roots of this behavior is crucial in healing and building healthier relationships. It’s not just about managing the fear, but about addressing the deep-seated emotional wounds that cause it.

5) Overachieving

Growing up, I had a friend who was always the first to raise her hand in class, the star of the school play, and the top scorer in every exam.

To many, she was just an overachiever. But behind her drive for success was a deep-seated need for validation.

Overachieving is often a response to childhood emotional wounds. If love and affection were tied to achievements during childhood, it could lead to an overwhelming need to excel in everything as adults.

Recognizing this tendency to overachieve can be the first step in breaking free from the cycle of constantly proving oneself and instead, embracing one’s worth beyond achievements.

6) Emotional detachment

It might seem counterintuitive, but sometimes, those who seem the toughest on the outside are often the most vulnerable inside. A prime example is people who habitually detach themselves emotionally.

Emotional detachment, or the habit of suppressing emotions, often springs from a childhood where expressing feelings was discouraged or punished.

As a result, these individuals learn to hide their emotions as a form of self-protection.

Famed psychologist Sigmund Freud once said, “Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways.” Emotional detachment is a prime example of this.

Acknowledging this habit and the pain beneath it can be a crucial step towards fostering healthier emotional expression and connection.

7) Constant self-doubt

We all have moments of self-doubt, but for some, it’s a constant companion. This nagging feeling of ‘not being good enough’ often stems from childhood experiences where their worth was questioned.

Psychologist and philosopher William James said, “The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes.”

Recognizing self-doubt as an emotional wound from the past, not a truth about your worth, can be the first step towards altering your attitude and embracing self-belief.

Final reflections

As we journey through the labyrinth of human behaviors and quirks, it’s essential to remember that they’re often more than meets the eye.

These seemingly odd habits, from over-apologizing to emotional detachment, are not just eccentricities to be dismissed or ignored. They might be cries for understanding from deep emotional wounds inflicted during childhood.

Understanding these connections can be a first step towards empathy and healing, both for ourselves and those around us.

It’s an invitation to look beyond the surface, to delve deeper, and to extend compassion where it’s most needed.

So, let’s take this understanding with us as we navigate our relationships and interactions.

Because everyone carries an unseen world within them, shaped by their past experiences – and these seven habits are just a glimpse into that world.