Interacting with a know-it-all can be a real challenge, especially when you’re trying to keep things cordial. They tend to dominate conversations, often making it difficult for others to contribute.

While it’s tempting to shut them down bluntly, there’s a fine line between being assertive and being rude. And that’s where psychology comes in handy.

Using psychological insights, it’s possible to subtly nudge these individuals into taking a step back without causing discomfort or conflict.

Here are seven clever strategies, steeped in psychological wisdom, that can help you handle know-it-alls gracefully.

In this article, I’ll guide you on how to steer your conversations without offending anyone, ensuring your voice is heard in any situation.

1) Use the power of silence

Silence, believe it or not, is one of the most powerful tools in our communication arsenal.

Know-it-alls are often so engulfed in their own narrative that they don’t realize they’re monopolizing the conversation. A simple pause, a moment of silence from your end, can sometimes serve as a wake-up call.

By deliberately choosing not to compete with their chatter, you allow them to hear their own voice echoing back at them. This can prompt self-awareness and open up space for others to contribute.

Remember though, your silence shouldn’t be passive-aggressive. Maintain an open body language and continue to show interest in the conversation. The key is to let your silence speak louder than words.

2) Ask open-ended questions

This is a technique I’ve found incredibly useful in my personal and professional interactions.

Once I was in a meeting where one colleague, let’s call him John, was dominating the conversation. He had an opinion on every topic and wasn’t shy about sharing it. It was clear that others were struggling to get a word in.

I decided to take a different approach. Instead of trying to interrupt or challenge John directly, I started asking open-ended questions.

“John, that’s an interesting perspective,” I said. “Can you tell us more about why you think that way? Have there been experiences that shaped this view of yours?”

Suddenly, instead of delivering a monologue, John was encouraged to think deeper and explain his thoughts more thoroughly.

The shift in dynamic allowed others to contribute their own ideas without feeling like they were battling for airtime.

Open-ended questions create space for dialogue, turning know-it-alls into valuable contributors to the conversation.

3) Assert yourself with kindness

Have you ever felt like you’re being bulldozed in a conversation? Sometimes, the only way to get a word in edgewise is to assert yourself. But how do you do that without coming off as aggressive or rude?

The key here is to be firm but kind. You can express your viewpoint without diminishing theirs.

I like to use phrases such as “I see where you’re coming from, but have you considered…” or “That’s an interesting point, but I have a different perspective.”

This approach acknowledges their contribution but also signals that you have something important to add. It’s about finding the balance between being heard and maintaining respect.

As psychologist Abraham Maslow said, “One can choose to go back toward safety or forward toward growth.”

Asserting yourself might feel uncomfortable initially, but it’s a vital step toward personal and professional growth.

Remember, your voice is just as important. Don’t let the fear of ruffling feathers hold you back from expressing your thoughts and ideas.

4) Use humor as a deflection tool

Humor, when used appropriately, can be an excellent way to defuse tension and change the dynamics of a conversation.

A study found that humor can serve as a “benign violation,” allowing us to challenge or question others without causing offense.

In a conversation with a know-it-all, a light-hearted joke or a witty remark can break their flow, reset the conversation, and provide an opening for others to chime in.

For example, if someone is going on and on about their expertise in a particular topic, you could say something like, “Wow, you’re like the Google of this topic! But I wonder what Bing has to say?” It’s playful, yet it gets your point across.

Remember, the aim is not to make fun of them or belittle their knowledge. Instead, it’s about using humor as a tool to shift the focus and bring balance back into the conversation.

5) Set boundaries respectfully

Setting boundaries is an essential part of any relationship, professional or personal. And it’s no different when dealing with a know-it-all.

In my experience, clearly communicating your boundaries can lead to more balanced and respectful conversations.

It’s about letting the other person know that while their opinion is valued, it isn’t the only perspective in the room.

For instance, you could say something like, “I appreciate your insights on this, but I think it’s important that we hear from everyone else too.”

It might feel challenging at first; it did for me too. But over time, I’ve realized that setting boundaries actually enhances mutual respect and understanding.

As famous psychologist and Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl once said, “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response.”

By setting boundaries, you’re simply using your power to choose a more respectful and inclusive response. It doesn’t just benefit you, but everyone else involved in the conversation too.

6) Practice empathy

This might seem counterintuitive. After all, why should you be empathetic towards someone who’s dominating the conversation and leaving little space for others?

Well, understanding their perspective can actually help you navigate the situation more effectively.

Many know-it-alls behave the way they do because they’re seeking validation or they’re insecure about their knowledge or status. Understanding this can change your reaction from annoyance to empathy.

Empathetic responses like, “You clearly know a lot about this. It must have taken time and effort to gather all this knowledge,” can help them feel acknowledged and reduce their need to dominate the conversation.

As renowned psychologist Daniel Goleman said, “Empathy and social skills are social intelligence, the interpersonal part of emotional intelligence. That’s why they look alike.”

By showing empathy, you’re not only diffusing a potentially tense situation but also promoting a healthier and more respectful conversation environment.

7) Lead by example

Ultimately, the best way to encourage a know-it-all to be more inclusive in conversations is to lead by example.

Show them through your own actions how to listen attentively, respect different viewpoints, and engage in balanced dialogues.

As Albert Bandura, a leading psychologist in the field of social learning theory, once said, “People not only gain understanding through reflection, they evaluate and alter their own thinking.”

Your behavior can serve as a mirror for them, prompting self-reflection and change. So, be the change you wish to see in the conversation.

Final thoughts

Interacting with a know-it-all can be a test of patience, but it’s also an opportunity for growth.

Remember, our goal isn’t to silence them, but to encourage a more balanced and inclusive conversation.

The strategies we’ve discussed aren’t about creating winners and losers, but fostering an environment where everyone’s voice is valued.

Whether you’re using the power of silence, asking open-ended questions, asserting yourself kindly, using humor wisely, setting boundaries respectfully, practicing empathy or leading by example; each strategy is designed to create a conversation that’s more fulfilling for everyone involved.

At the end of the day, it’s about understanding that every interaction is a chance to learn and grow.

The next time you find yourself dealing with a know-it-all, remember these strategies and see them as opportunities to enrich your communication skills.

After all, every conversation is an art that calls for continuous learning and refinement.