Emotional intelligence is a huge part of who we are, and as parents, it’s something we must model for our children. But what does that look like?

The difference lies in action. Modeling emotional intelligence isn’t just about telling our kids how they should feel or react. It’s about showing them, through our behavior, how to understand and manage their own emotions.

Seven behaviors, according to psychology, can help parents model emotional intelligence for their children. And trust me, it’s not as complex as it sounds.

These behaviors are all about being aware of our emotions, expressing them appropriately, and making conscious choices. Sounds simple? Well, let’s dive in.

This is not just for the parents but for anyone keen on fostering emotional intelligence in their interactions.

So get ready to discover these seven behaviors and start modeling emotional intelligence for the youngsters in your life.

1) Conscious of their own emotions

In the world of parenting, there’s no denying the importance of emotional intelligence. And it all starts with being aware of our own emotions.

Because let’s face it, parenting can be a roller coaster. One moment you’re on cloud nine, and the next, you’re scraping cereal off the ceiling and trying to keep your cool.

Emotionally intelligent parents understand their feelings and know that their reactions can directly influence their children’s emotional development.

The first step in modeling emotional intelligence is looking within. So when you’re feeling stressed out or overwhelmed, take a moment to identify your emotions.

It’s not about suppressing your feelings – it’s about understanding them. This self-awareness is the first behavior of parents who model emotional intelligence for their children.

And remember, it’s not about being perfect but about being conscious and consistent. So next time you’re tested, pause, breathe, and model emotional intelligence. Your children are watching.

2) They validate emotions

Many of us grew up hearing phrases like “Don’t cry” or “It’s not a big deal.” But emotionally intelligent parents understand the importance of validating their children’s feelings.

This isn’t about encouraging tantrums or unreasonable behavior. It’s about acknowledging their emotions and giving them space to feel.

I remember when my son had a meltdown because his favorite toy broke. Instead of dismissing his feelings, I got down on his level and said, “I see that you’re upset because your toy broke. That’s hard.”

That simple act of validation helped him calm down and opened up a conversation about how we handle disappointment.

Renowned psychologist Daniel Goleman once said, “If your emotional abilities aren’t in hand… then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far.”

By validating our children’s emotions, we teach them that all feelings are important and they have the capacity to manage them.

So next time your child is upset, remember to validate their feelings. It’s a small act that can have a big impact on their emotional intelligence.

3) They apologize when they’re wrong

Ever made a mistake as a parent? Of course, we all have. But how often do we apologize to our children when we’re wrong?

Emotionally intelligent parents understand that saying sorry isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a powerful way to model responsibility, empathy, and humility.

We often think that as parents, we need to be infallible. But the truth is, our kids learn more from our mistakes than our successes.

There was a time when I lost my temper and yelled at my daughter for something minor.

I knew I was wrong. After calming down, I apologized to her. I told her that even adults make mistakes and it’s important to say sorry when we do.

As the famous psychologist Carl Rogers once said, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”

It’s okay to be wrong. It’s okay to apologize. In doing so, we not only teach our children about emotional intelligence but also about authenticity and resilience.

So remember, next time you make a mistake, own up to it. Your child will respect you more for it and learn a valuable lesson in emotional intelligence.

4) They demonstrate empathy

Being able to put ourselves in another’s shoes is a cornerstone of emotional intelligence. And parents who model this behavior teach their children the importance of understanding and sharing the feelings of others.

But how do we actually do this?

It’s all about active listening and showing genuine interest in their feelings and experiences. When your child comes to you with a problem, avoid jumping straight to solutions. Instead, listen and empathize.

A study found that empathy can significantly improve relationships. In the study, participants reported higher relationship satisfaction when they felt their partners were empathetic.

So next time your child is upset about a squabble with a friend or anxious about a test, try saying something like, “That sounds really tough. I can understand why you’re feeling this way.”

By demonstrating empathy, we teach our children to be kind and understanding individuals. And isn’t that what we all want for our children?

5) They model healthy coping strategies

Life is full of ups and downs. As parents, it’s our job to guide our children through these peaks and valleys. And a big part of that is showing them how to cope with stress and disappointment in a healthy way.

I’ve always been a big believer in the power of a good walk. Whenever I’m feeling overwhelmed or stressed, I lace up my shoes and head outside. My kids have seen this, and now they do it too.

In the words of psychologist Albert Ellis, “The art of love is largely the art of persistence.”

And the art of emotional intelligence is largely the art of coping. It’s about persisting through the tough times and finding ways to keep going.

So whether it’s taking a walk, writing in a journal, or practicing deep breathing exercises, make sure you’re modeling healthy coping strategies for your children.

They’re watching and learning from you, even when you don’t realize it.

6) They aren’t afraid to show their vulnerability

In a world that often equates vulnerability with weakness, it’s counterintuitive to think that showing our soft spots could benefit our children. But emotionally intelligent parents know that vulnerability is actually a strength.

Showing our children that we, too, have fears, make mistakes, and face challenges is not about burdening them. It’s about demonstrating that it’s okay to not be okay all the time.

Showing vulnerability helps our children understand that they’re not alone in their struggles. It fosters empathy, compassion, and deepens connections.

Famed psychologist Brené Brown says, “Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome.”

By being vulnerable, we teach our children to be brave and authentic.

So next time you find yourself trying to appear strong in front of your child, remember that showing your true feelings doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human.

And it teaches your child a valuable lesson in emotional intelligence.

7) They encourage emotional expression

Emotionally intelligent parents don’t just model emotional awareness, they encourage its expression.

It’s about creating a safe space for children to express their feelings without fear of judgment or dismissal.

Renowned psychologist Sigmund Freud once said, “Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways.”

Encouraging emotional expression helps children learn to articulate their feelings in healthy ways.

So, encourage your child to talk about their emotions. It’s a simple yet powerful way to foster emotional intelligence.

Final thoughts

Parenting is a journey, a series of highs and lows, of laughter and tears, of triumphs and failures. But amidst all these, there’s one constant – our children are always watching us.

Our behaviors and responses shape their understanding of themselves and the world around them. And that’s why it’s so important to model emotional intelligence.

As we navigate through the complexities of parenthood, let’s remember to be conscious of our own emotions, validate theirs, apologize when we’re wrong, show empathy, model healthy coping strategies, embrace our vulnerabilities, and encourage emotional expression.

These seven behaviors aren’t just steps to raising emotionally intelligent children; they are steps towards becoming better humans ourselves.

So, as we continue on this parenting journey, let’s strive to be those role models our children need us to be. Because in the end, it’s not just about raising great kids; it’s about raising kids who grow up to be great adults.